Tag Archives: hammer

Forever Repressed: Zero Fluid Motions

Speed Racer: What a crappy day. I think I’ll go back inside. (Walks inside.)

Mr. Game & Watch: Hey bud, you’re walking like me.

Speed Racer: So?

Mr. Game & Watch: That’s my bit! That’s how I walk in Super Smash Bros. Melee!

(Mr. Game & Watch hits the B Button and flips bacon in Speed Racer’s face)

Speed Racer: Ouch! That’s greasy!

(Speed Racer gets in his Mach 5 car)

Speed Racer: IT’S ON!

(Meanwhile, in Hell…)

One-legged Squirrel: Another play with a car? I’ll sit this one out.

Satan: Hey, I’m not slave-driving you to talk.

(Meanwhile, back in the unspecified setting…)

Mr. Game & Watch: You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry!

(Mr. Game & Watch turns red by hitting the Y button before the match.)

John Tesh: This calls for some quality fightin’ music. You two just get it on, and I’ll take care of the tunes.

(Speed Racer and Mr. Game & Watch stare one another down.)

Speed Racer: Are you ready?

Mr. Game & Watch: Let’s get this over with.

(Speed Racer runs over John Tesh. Mr. Game & Watch makes John Tesh fly off the screen with his smash hammer [B Button].)

Speed Racer: That felt good. Now, I must leave. I have a race.

Mr. Game & Watch: And I’m a guest on Carson Daly’s show.