My older sister is a real dog. Last Christmas Santa left a flea collar in her stocking.
Tag Archives: sister
Joke #12041
SISTER: “Tell me the truth, do boys like talkative girls as well as they like the other kind?”
BROTHER: “What other kind?”
Joke #11942
JIMMY: “My sister ate some chicken last night.”
TIMMY: “Croquette?”
JIMMY: “No, not yet.”
Fifteen Things A Brother Or Sister Will Never Say To You
1. “Can I help you clean your room?”
2. “You decide what movie we go to. You have much better taste!”
3. “I don’t like hanging around with your friends. They’re much too sophisticated for me.”
4. “Can I finish your lima beans?”
5. “Here’s your sweater back. I had it cleaned before I returned it.”
6. “You don’t have to entertain me while Mom and Dad are out. I’ll go up to my room and read a book by myself.”
7. “You take the biggest piece of pie. I’m too full!”
8. “I’ll be happy to lend you ten dollars. Pay it back whenever you can.”
9. “Can I do your math homework for you tonight? I don’t have much to do.”
10. “It wasn’t your fault. It was all my fault.”
11. “I saw you were on the phone, so I decided to be silent.”
12. “Why don’t you wear my new Springsteen sweatshirt? It looks better on you!”
13. “Betcha I can wash and dry the supper dishes all by myself!”
14. “You sit in the front seat.”
15. “I started the fight. You didn’t!”
It’s Great to Have Brothers and Sisters Because…
There’s always someone around to blame for starting all the fights!
You’re not the only one who won’t eat the cauliflower!
When you catch a cold or the flu, there’s someone to share it with!
There are more birthdays to celebrate, and more presents that your brothers and sisters will be delighted to share with you!
There’s always someone around who can keep a secret from your mother – at least until she gets home from the store!
Your room is not the only one in the house that looks as if it was in the path of a hurricane!
There’s always someone dying to tell you the end of the movie you’re about to see so you don’t have to waste your time being surprised!
There’s always someone around to help you develop a sense of humor about yourself by teasing you all the time.
There’s always someone else in the house who votes for watching The Monkees instead of the six-o’clock news, so your dad is outvoted again!
There’s someone else who will break your best toys so you don’t have to feel bad that you did it yourself!
There are always interesting phone conversations to pretend you’re not listening to!
There’s someone to gobble up all the cookies and candy in the house before you can get to them or you don’t have to worry about your teeth rotting!
When Mom and Dad are yelling, it isn’t always about YOU!
You’re not the only one who won’t eat liver!
There’s always someone around to fight with so you don’t have to fight with your friends!
Joke #11408
Friend: Is that your brother?
Sister: Yes.
Friend: He’s very short, isn’t he?
Sister: Well, he’s only my half brother!
Joke #11197
Q: What do you call a TV show about two very different sisters with skin problems?
A: “Oppo-zits.”
A (stupid) Story
As told by Ms. Signs.
————————–
I was trying to cross the dance floor to the phone, but getting through the crowd was like trying to part the Red Sea. Since I’m more of a Woody Allen than a David Robinson, I decided to give peace a chance and wait for a while. Suddenly, I saw a virtual Mel Gibson who looked lost. I decided to play the Good Samaritan and go help him out. I hoped he wouldn’t see me as the Elephant Man’s Twin sister or something. Unfortunately, these Beavis and Butthead characters started trying to talk to me and they wouldn’t go away. it was like I was Linda Hamilton in “The Terminator.” They kept staring at me as if I were dressed like Madonna. One of them was even wearing a hat like Gilligan! By the time I ditched them, the Mel Gibson character had pulled a Jimmy Hoffa.
Mitosis Story
I’m a chromosome. I’m colored blue. I give the characteristic “eating glue.” I was separated from my sister at birth, and I will never see her again. We separated during Mitosis. We were replicated from the same chromosome long before anyone could remember, and when we were born off each other, we were pulled apart by spindles, the walls closing in between us.
After the separation, the room I was in, grew bigger and bigger, more and more little things flying around, called DNA replicated as well. They were going all around, and eventually, I grew another sister chromatin. Would I be separated from another sister of mine? Yeah…
After a short rest, the other chromosomes and I were tossed toward the middle of the room, me and my new sister that grew on me were separated, and the room got bigger and bigger, pulling us away from each other again.
“Would I be stuck in this never-ending chain of events?” I asked myself. That’s when the end came, and I DIED
Van Gogh’s Family Tree
After much careful research, it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were:
His dizzy aunt: Verti Gogh
The brother who ate prunes: Gotta Gogh
The brother who worked at a convenience store: Stopn Gogh
The brother who bleached his clothes white: Hue Gogh
The cousin from Illinois: Chica Gogh
His magician uncle: Wherediddy Gogh
His Mexican cousin: Amee Gogh
The Mexican cousin’s American half brother: Grin Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage coach: Wellsfar Gogh
The constipated uncle: Can’t Gogh
The ballroom dancing aunt: Tan Gogh
The bird lover uncle: Flamin Gogh
His nephew psychoanalyst: E Gogh
The fruit loving cousin: Man Gogh
An aunt who taught positive thinking: Wayto Gogh
The little bouncy nephew: Poe Gogh
A sister who loved disco: Go Gogh
His Italian uncle: Day Gogh
And his niece who travels the country in a van: Winnie Bay Gogh
TREFOR JONES
TREFOR JONES – n. ONE BIG WORD FAG he has sex with his dad and licks his moms penis he eats his dogs shit and rubs his ass on his sisters nipples he has a gang bang with his family and he thinks he is god and always complains because he has one caff what a faggot god knows he likes men and the only reason anyone ever does something with him is because he is dead last resort he sucks up to every one and bites penis trefor eat shit you dick licking cunt sucker
tabayama
tabayama – v. to go into a rampage because your sister is a prostitute