He’s so dumb all he could pass in school was the salt and pepper.
Tag Archives: school
Joke #18128
Q: Where do young cows eat lunch at school?
A: The calf-eteria.
Joke #18126
Q: How do cows know what’s going on at school?
A: They read the bull-etin boards.
Joke #18125
Q: Why was the elephant expelled from school?
A: Because he trunked (flunked) out.
Joke #18124
Q: Why was Silly Sarah kicked out of art school?
A: She drew a blank.
You Know You Are From A Small Town When…
You Know You Are From A Small Town When…
– The local phone book has only one yellow page.
– Third Street is on the edge of town.
– The “road hog” in front of you on Main Street is a farmer’s combine.
– You leave your jacket on the back of the chair in the cafe, and when you go back the next day, it’s still there, on the same chair.
– You don’t signal turns because everyone knows where you’re going, anyway.
– No social events can be scheduled when the school gym floor is being varnished.
– You call a wrong number and they supply you with the correct one.
– Everyone knows all the news before it’s published; they just read the hometown paper to see whether the publisher got it right.
– The McDonalds only has only one Golden Arch.
– A “Night on the Town” takes only 11 minutes.
– You have to name six surrounding towns to explain to people where you’re from.
– Headline news is who grew the biggest vegetable this year.
– You can name everyone you graduated with.
– School gets canceled for state sporting events.
– Anyone you want can be found at either the Dairy Queen or the feed store.
– Directions are given using “the” stop light as a reference
– It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town.
Joke #17750
Q: How do you make a raspberry swirl?
A: Send it to ballet school!
Joke #17715
Q: What game do baby ghosts play in nursery school?
A: Peek-a-BOO!
Exigent Circumstances
There was this stoner guy that came to the store on Tuesday. He had a rental book that was about a month and a half overdue, and he had said that he had come into the store earlier and talked to someone upstairs in the textbook department about returning the rental book, but they had to talk to us at Customer Service before being able to.
The reason being, there is a late fee/replacement price associated with any late rental books. And, being a month and a half overdue, this fucker thought he’d be able to just return a water-damaged book three weeks into the next semester without having to pay anything.
The reasoning behind his being late was he had “exigent circumstances” that prevented him from completing the class on time. Okay, fine. He brought his teacher with him to vouch for him, as well. Oh, great.
So, I went upstairs to ask a book manager and to see what they could do for the guy, which I knew wouldn’t be much. When she came down to talk to him, the guy was a complete idiot and kept saying how he had exigent circumstances and he “had a baby” and can’t be throwing around sixteen dollars here and there.
The manager had come to a middle ground and said that we would only charge him the late fee, which was the rental fee again at 14 dollars. The guy didn’t understand why he had to pay a late fee for something he has in his hand and was trying to return to us. She also offered if he had bought the book at the replacement price of 16 dollars, we would buy back the book at 5 dollars, so he’d actually be saving 3 dollars if he had done so.
He wouldn’t have it. He didn’t want to pay a dime. This stupid mother fucker had his school records on hold and couldn’t change or drop any of his classes or get any school services that he might need done because of 15 dollars. He didn’t understand why we charged late fees and didn’t agree that he should pay them. But he still signed the agreement to the terms, and it was his fault he didn’t read it.
So he started throwing around accusations like “you guys are nickel and dime-ing students” and he had “just bought a $150 book” and now had to “buy another $15 book.” So the book manager had made the argument that that we had lost out on the money the bookstore could have made off that book, which is why we charge the late fee/replacement price, and that it was already three weeks into the semester and we will probably lose out on the opportunity to sell that book to another student.
Then he said, “How are you so sure that all the students have gotten their books already,” and the book manager said we didn’t, but most have already gotten their books so the likelihood of it being sold was minimal. Then he said “well, *I* didn’t get my books,” in a “ah-ha I got you” kind of tone. The book manager said “I’m not going to get into a nit-picky fight with you…” etc etc.
So at the end of it, the guy ended up NOT paying and he left with a hold still on his school records. And the whole time, the faculty member he coerced into bringing with him was nodding her head agreeing with everyone. She was probably oblivious to everything that was happening, and I don’t know why she was wasting her time at 7 pm to come with this guy to try and get him off on any late fees.
Fuckin’ asshole comes right before the store closes too. What a great time to come.
Water Bottle
School Can Be Like TV
How do girls drink tapes?
Yes or No: School is gay
Quote #16900
“If my name was a time of day, it would be 2:30 because school gets out then”
– davepoobond
Quote #16662
“Hurry up, please, schools out in June!”
– Mrs. Stickums
Note: This is in May.