Dashing through the snow,
On a pair of broken skis,
Over the hills we go,
Crashing into trees!
The snow is turning red,
I think I’m almost dead,
I crash into a telephone pole
And landed on my head!!
Tag Archives: red
uqodupsqiq
uqodupsqiq – v. to call someone out for holding a red umbrella on the first Tuesday after Labor Day
Joke #24795
Q: What’s big, red, and flies?
A: A fire truck.
Joke #24682
Q: What did the red fish say to the sad navy fish?
A: “You’re blue.”
Joke #24422
Q: What’s clear and smells like red paint?
A: Chloroform. Shhhhh.
Happy Fruits – Pub Slot (iOS) Review
Developer/Publisher: Mazooma Interactive Games || Overall: 8.5/10
Happy Fruits – Pub Slot is a fruit-themed slots game available on iOS. As a single-themed slot, the experience revolves solely around the theme of smiling, jumping, happy fruit. With some interesting bonus games, this slots game is one of the better slots games available.
As everything is Happy and Fruit themed, even the standard 10, J, Q, K, A letters are animated and smiling. They represent different types of fruit, such as the Green J fruit, the Blue K fruit, and my favorite, the purple Q fruit. They look so delicious, you’ll want to eat them!
Similar to other slots games, you’ll unlock features as you play. Each level allows you to bet at a higher cap, and at level 5, Auto Play is unlocked. You get bonus credits every level and as a timed bonus every four hours. You start out with 2500 credits which can easily get you a few levels up just by itself. Each bet will add XP to your player level, so higher bets will get you levels faster.
There are also several interesting bonuses. The largest bonus is the three progressive jackpots that slowly grow as you play. The pick-a-win multiplier, in which you choose one of three possible bonuses, multiply your bet by the one that is chosen. The most frequent one I encountered was the Crazy Streak spin bonus in which you will be taken to a 3-slot game that rolls slots automatically. When you gain three of a certain fruit in each of the allocated spaces respectively, you’ll attain the bonus that fruit type is assigned. Once you get the killer tomatoes that require the bonus game to end, the rolls will stop and you’ll receive the payout. This bonus game is pretty fun as you’ll see things slowly fill in and as you progress in levels you’ll be able to last longer against the tomatoes on average.
Happy Fruits – Pub Slot is an interesting slots game that has a unique bonus game and theme to offer to players. If you are interested in trying out the game, it is available on the App Store.
Quote #22573
“I have an albino fetish especially the ones with red eyes.”
– a girl’s dating profile
Joke #22432
Q: What’s blue and smells like red paint?
A: Blue paint.
Joke #22011
Q: Why was Helen Keller’s ear red?
A: She tried to answer the iron!
Joke #21358
Q: How many “New Kids on the Block” does it take to paint a wall red?
A: Only one if you throw it hard enough.
Roses are Red…
Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
Some poems rhyme,
This one doesn’t you wanker
The Stupid Nerdy Annoying Asshole Idiot Tally Sheet
The following is a tally of how many times this annoying asshole in my physics class said certain things over the period of about 5 days. I only wrote the dates down for the first 2 days.
He would always say certain things out loud — he had no self control in keeping his god damned mouth shut and not make any noise while we tried to take notes from the teacher. He was this huge, 8 foot tall, fat, nerdy guy that sat in the front row and always wore a red shirt with arm pit stains. He always had a rolling backpack so you could hear him coming down the hall. He also had nerdy glasses on, as if the previous wasn’t enough to cement the fact he’s a stupid nerd.
I lost interest after those 5 days because he did these so many times, it wasn’t worth counting anymore:
–
Says “mmhmm:”
Feb 14, 2005: 13 times
Feb 15, 2005: 34 times
3rd day: 5 times
4th day: 13 times
5th day: 25 times
–
Says “mmhno:”
Feb 14, 2005: 1 time
–
Answers a Question (but usually mumbles to himself rather than actually raising his hand to legitimately answer it):
Feb 14, 2005: 16 times
Feb 15, 2005: 68 times
3rd day: 12 times
4th day: 20 times
5th day: 11 times
–
Says “right:”
Feb 14, 2005: 2 times
–
Says “no:”
Feb 14, 2005: 8 times
Feb 15, 2005: 8 times
3rd day: 6 times
4th day: 3 times
5th day: 4 times
–
Says “hmm:”
Feb 14, 2005: 2 times
–
Says “yeaah:”
Feb 14, 2005: 1 time
Feb 15, 2005: 1 time
–
Says “unhunh:”
Feb 14, 2005: 2 times
Feb 15, 2005: 3 times
3rd day: 1 time
4th day: 1 time
5th day: 2 times
–
Says “Yep/yes:”
Feb 14, 2005: 1 time
Feb 15, 2005: 8 times
3rd day: 7 times
4th day: 3 times
5th day: 2 times
–
Does something stupid (with elaboration):
Feb 14, 2005: 6 times
1. Didn’t bring a Scantron for a test.
2. Somehow lost his study guide since the last time it was given out (which is the 2nd time it was passed out) – counts as 2.
3. Yawned like a vampire
4. Answered a question wrong. Saying, it wasn’t 300,000 km/hr for a light year.
5. Answered a question wrong. Professor said, “nice guess.”
Feb 15, 2005: 5 times
1. Said Moon cycle was 273 days, when it is actually 29.5
2. Said “I love the moon!”
3. Laughed after answering question wrong
4. Nodded his head and looked at the rest of the class, as if looking for people to agree with him.
5. Yawned like a vampire, really loudly.
3rd day: 1 time
1. Someone told him to shut up, but kept doing his same shit.
Joke #20933
Q: What is black and white and red?
A: A sunburned zebra.
Joke #20906
Q: What is black and white and red all over?
A: A panda bear with measles.
Joke #20863
Q: What is big, brown, and has red dots?
A: A gorilla with chicken pox.