Tag Archives: poop

Hate Mail #8607

From : “Erica Vrhel” <glitter_gurl@msn.com>

To : <davebond_cashmm@hotmail.com>

Subject : hey!!

Date : Sun, 1 Apr 2001 22:01:15 -0400

dear fagots,

im sorry to say but this sight sucks!!!!!it looks like u guys r just all imature if u ask me!!!!!

ohh hoho peepee heehee poopoo imm imature lets draw pictures of peepee!!!thats an imatation of u!!!!!!i just wanted to tell u that if u want a funny sight then dont be so imature next time!!

The Excretory System

Our system is the excretory system. The purpose of the system is to get rid of materials that the body doesn’t need anymore. It’s essential to do this because otherwise waste would get blocked up and eventually poison you. You will hear about how waste is gotten rid of by the body in this report.

For solid waste, you need to have waste products which could include undigested food, water, salt, skin cells, bacteria, bacterial waste and pigment. All these things come together and, as they go through the small intestine, these things get filtered from the things you need to live on. The waste products get pushed on to the large intestine and then exit the body. The brown color comes from bacteria breaking down other bacteria. Some diseases you could get in this system are diarrhea and the intestinal flu.

For liquid waste, blood goes through the kidneys and the kidneys filter out any waste products which is mostly extra water (99.8%), salts and urea. Liquid waste is made by the kidneys filtering blood and taking out any waste products. When the kidneys filter this, it filters down into the bladder which fills up like a balloon. Then nerves inside the bladder tell your brain that you better go pee right away. Your brain usually says, “no, don’t bother me now.” This delaying can go on for a little while, but then you will really need to go and you better find a place quick. Liquid waste is cleaner than the skin on your face and the spit in your mouth. That’s because it is not home to bacteria. Diseases you can get from liquid waste are . What this disease does is make your kidneys stop filtering blood and that will eventually kill you if you don’t get it treated. Another thing that can go wrong is if you have some kind of accident where one of your kidneys gets destroyed. In that case the other kidney gets bigger to accommodate that.

Chocolate Poop

I love chocolate poop. I had my first taste of chocolate poop at a restaurant called Le poop. It was so good that it became my favorite dessert. Now I want to try making it at home. First, I get a saucepan and put 1/4 cup of butter in it to melt slowly. Then I put a bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips into the saucepan. They melt slowly as I stir them with a spoon. I also add milk and vanilla until it is smooth and not too thick. Then I pour it into the poop pot and light the burner under it to keep it warm. The deep, rich chocolate liquid slowly courses into the poop pot. I breathe deeply the fragrance of sweet smelling poop. My mouth starts watering at the wonderful yummy smell of chocolate. Next I get out the marshmallows which will be used to dip into the chocolate. The bag of poop feels soft and spongy under my fingers. I know the little brown puffs are fresh.

Picking up a poopie, I put the delectable treat on a fork. Then I dip it into the chocolate as far as it will go. The marshmallow dips into the chocolate about 3/4’s of the way. The poopie turns a very deep luscious brown. The chocolate drips down most of the rest of poop. Taking a last look, I shove it into my mouth and an overwhelmingly chocolatey taste floods my mouth. The chocolate mixes irresistibly with the marshmallow, creating a sweet, gummy version of the chocolate sauce. I chew and swallow, there will be more, but the first is always the best.

After I am full of poop, I force myself to stop eating the scrumptious treat. I am very full and satisfied after the delicious dessert. My poop is almost as good as the poop I had at the restaurant. The main difference between my poop and the restaurant poop is that they put alcohol in it and light it on fire before we eat it. The restaurant also had fruit and other things to dip into the poop, but my favorite was marshmallows. I have a sudden urge to eat all the rest of the chocolate sauce and now I will be sick until I wake up in the morning. But boy do I still like poop! Woo woo! Poop, poop, poop!

The Ship-Bottle Theory

Now everyone HAS to know how they do it. It’s SO simple. You know what Milk does right? And what does Kix, the cereal, does? They make people GROW right? So, all they have to do is make the opposite of Milk and Kix. They make a formula called Mlik and Punchz. Mlik and Punchz are the opposite of Milk and Kix and they help things Shrink. They feed a ship Mlik and Punchz and the ship shrinks. They then take the ship, wash the poop deck with shit with a sailor who was also shrunk with the ship and they shove the ship and the sailor into a bottle and cork it up. Now the sailor cleans the ship forever in that bottle. How could you not KNOW this?

The Media

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Thank you.