Tag Archives: orgasm

Weather Report

Here is tomorrow’s weather report for Iraq and vicinity.  Early tomorrow a tit front will collide with a mass of hot cum moving from the north.  This means we can expect Blowing winds and occasional orgasms by late afternoon.  Wind velocity will be 69 mph and the high temperature should be around 98.6 degrees.  So, if you’re going out, you’d better wear a bra.

The George Carlin Theory

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death. What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating. . .you finish off as an orgasm.

Wally 2: Wally’s Orgy

This is the Wally 2 story for Dave’s Profantiy Patch.


Welcome to Wally 2: Wallys Orgy. Wally will go through levels and after you complete them, Wally will have orgies with other hot Wallow bitches.

Fuck you. Go and get the fucking balloons you fucking cunt. You cant get to the bonus orgy if you dont. You mother-fucking twelve year old. FUCKKKKK YOOOOOUUUUUU! You think youre almost done? HA! NO YOURE NOT YOU FAT BITCH. GO FUCK A CAMEL. Go suck on a gorilla moms tit.

I fucked your mom. So, I was sitting down writing this, and I thought of how much of a sloppy cunt bitch you are. Then I threw up. Fuck yoooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuu!!!! Don’t be gay.

You suck. I dont know what you look like, but please insert a racist joke here. Do you have eyebrow dandruff? I bet you do. Thats fucking sick.

Having fun? Well Im not. I have to write 40 fucking level descriptions. Oh no, Wally has to uhh… do some stuff again… fuck off you game maker nerd.

Hey. Im sorry for all the things I said. Actually, Im not. Ahahahaha! Seriously. I really am serious this time, Im sorry. So all you little nerds playing this game getting help from your mommies, its ok if youre a fucking dipshit.

This is becoming a challenge to write these. Fuck yooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuu! Congratualations. Go to Squackle, asshole. I’m going to gut you like a fish.

Have you ever eaten an eyeball? Level 20. I love you. ;.!,:=-+_ Thats punctuation for fuck you. Yay…………………………………………… You made it………………………………

……………………………. ……………………………. …………………………….

One day, Wally was going through the woods, when he saw a big tree shaped like a penis. Wow, Wally said. Thats a tree that looks like a weiner!

Just then, a Wallow Bitch named Sandra took out the lube and started fucking the penis tree. Oh yes, oh yes! Sandra the Wallow Bitch said. She was having multiple orgasms every second.

Hey! Wally said. He’d be damned if a fucking tree that was shaped like a penis would steal his Wallow Bitch. Wally took out his huge ball sack from his pants and swung them at the tree. Unfortunately for Wally, there were spines on the tree.

Oh my fucking God! Wally screamed in pain. How would you feel if you just swung your nut sack into a tree that had 3 inch spines sticking out of it? As Wally lay bleeding on the ground, Sandra was starting to make a waterfall on the tree. The tree seemed to get bigger.

Wally felt like he was going to die. He had like 20 spines sticking out of his nut sack. What could Wally do? Nothing, that’s what. He started to cry, like a BITCH. Kind of like you. Well, Sandra got eaten by the penis tree. Oh fucking well.

As for Wally, he didn’t die. He’s actually going to jump around and get some balloons right now! Aren’t you tired yet, fucker?

You suck. I hate you. I want you to DIE! LAST LEVEL, YOU WHORE.

GOOD JOB, JACKASS! You made it to the bonus level! How fucking long did that take you?