Q: What did the math book tell the pencil?
A: I have a lot of problems.
Tag Archives: math
Joke #24424
A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.
My Geometry Test Grades
I took Geometry in 10th grade in high school. We had to get each one of our test grades signed off by our parents. Pretty much after every test I got a lecture from my mom. I was pretty bad at geometry, mostly because of the proofs.
–
1st semester:
72
39
74
57
57
32
80
58
74
72
2nd semester:
50
73
66
66
72
91
43
86
46
80
–
Pretty hilarious, really. I ended up getting a C anyway, so I didn’t have to retake the class during summer.
GHIJKL
always sometimes never
always sometimes
sometimes sometimes
always sometimes
sometimes
Given
because
yes
In Class -1
no yes yes
no yes no
no yes yes
yes no no
no no no
yes
yes yes yes
yes
proof
Quote #23422
“a = positive B = negative”
– from high school
Quote #23411
“x = -poop”
– davepoobond
The tea is too cold…
I found this at school.
–
The tea is too cold
The tea is too hot. I can’t drink it.
I can’t put my dictionary in my pocket. My dictionary is too big.
An elephant is too big. A mouse is too small.
I can’t buy a boat because it’s too expensive, but Anita can buy one if she wants to.
We went to the Rocky Mountains for our vacation. The mountains are too beautiful.
I can’t eat this food because it’s too salty.
Amanda doesn’t like her room in the dorm. She thinks it’s too small.
I lost your dictionary. I’m too sorry. I’ll buy you a new one.
A: Do you like your math course?
B: Yes. It’s too difficult, but I enjoy it.
Sex and Math
Sex is like math.
Subtract the clothes.
Divide the legs.
Add the moaning.
Hope you don’t multiply.
Quote #21726: Dear 6th Grade Teacher
“I expect to learn harder math, harder spelling words, harder science and harder English in 6th grade. I hope we don’t get a lot of homework everyday because my mom says my backpack is always too heavy and I tell her only my homework is in there!”
– davepoobond
Quote #21719
“My favorite school subject is math because I’m really good at it. My least favorite subject is history because I don’t do that well in it.”
– davepoobond
WoW Chat #21138: Btk -> davepoobond
In the trade chat channel in World of Warcraft I was spouting:
“WTS [Fiery Warhorse’s Reins] mount RUN – 250g or best offer, pst! If it drops its yours! READ THIS BEFORE WHISPERING ME.”
–
Btk: anyone can solo the first boss in kara, your stupid
davepoobond: you’re stupider for complaining
Btk: problem?
davepoobond: x + y = z
davepoobond: solve for y
Btk: y= your mum x=my wood z= you
davepoobond: hello, how has your day been today
Btk: deal with it
Quote #21099
davepoobond: “hey, Roubie Boobie, what’s 1 + 1?”
Return of the Dragon: “….2”
davepoobond: “no, its shut the hell up!”
::Return of the Dragon punches davepoobond::
davepoobond: “ow…”
– from davepoobond’s high school
Joke #20913
Q: What does a cow use for math?
A: A cowculator.
The End of Infinity
The End of Infinity – n. the theory in which there is an end to the “number” designated as infinity, and rounds this number off at an unknown number. Also clarifies that the “number” infinity does not actually have any numbers in it, because if there were an endless string of 9’s going on forever, adding one to it will make this number one digit longer, thus making it possible for this new longer number to be all 9’s, and having another one added to it, hence making it longer, yet again. The number is so huge that it is unfathomable by the human mind.