EYE PATIENT: “I stepped on my glasses and broke them. Will the doctor have to examine me all over again?”
NURSE: “No, just your eyes.”
Tag Archives: doctor
Joke #18103
Q: When should you take your computer to the doctor?
A: When it loses its memory.
Joke #18102
PATIENT: “Thanks to your help, I no longer think I’m a kitty cat. How can I ever repay you?”
DOCTOR: “Well, for starters, you can take that ball of string out of your mouth.”
Joke #18101
PATIENT: “Doctor, doctor, I think I’m a cow!”
DOCTOR: “Just open your mouth and say ‘moo.'”
Joke #18100
PATIENT: “Doctor, doctor, I think I’m a light bulb!”
DOCTOR: “Watt do you mean by that?”
Joke #18099
PATIENT: “Doctor, doctor, I think I’m a porcupine!”
DOCTOR: “Stop needling me!”
Joke #18098
PATIENT: “Doctor, doctor, I think I’m a radio!”
DOCTOR: “I’m sorry, you’re not coming in too clearly.”
Joke #18091
Mr. Cummings went to see his doctor.
The physician couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw radishes growing out of Mr. Cummings’ mouth.
“Well, that’s unusual,” said the doctor.
“You’re not kidding!” replied Mr. Cummings. “I swallowed pumpkin seeds.”
Joke #18089
A duck with a Band-Aid on his nose went to see his doctor.
“Are you hear about your beak?” asked the nurse.
“No,” said the duck, “I’m here about my bill.”
Joke #18084
Q: What kind of doctors make fish look younger?
A: Plastic sturgeons.
Joke #18083
Q: Where do sick boats go?
A: To the dock-tor.
Joke #17680
Ghost: “Doctor, why am I so lonely?”
Doctor: “Because you’ve got no body!”
Joke #17679
Q: Did the doctor know the ghost was sick?
A: Yes, he was dead certain!
Joke #17678
Q: Why did the ghost go to the foot doctor?
A: He had an in-groan toenail!
Joke #17677
Q: What kind of doctor does a ghost go to?
A: A witch doctor!