Armando: Both of you are crazy.
Megutron: You know, if the majority is abnormal, they become the normal ones, and you’re just the abnormal one after all.
Armando: Oh, really? Hahaha…
davepoobond (singing): ‘Cause 2 out of THREEEEEE….. Ain’t baddddd!
::Armando and Megutron don’t say anything::
Armando: You just contradicted yourself there, y’know.
– at davepoobond’s job, 6/26/07
davepoobond: Yes! Only 10 more days left for summer school!
Brian: Yeah! Finally!
davepoobond: Then I could work full time! And give all of my time to this joooobbbbb…. yeahhhhhh!!!!!
Brian: Yeahhh!
::Brian and davepoobond laugh all crazily::
Ely: What the hell? You guys are crazy…
– at davepoobond’s job, 6/26/07
Blanker: Hey, you’re Receptionist right?
davepoobond: yeah.
Blanker: Do you want to trade? I don’t like being Lead.
davepoobond: Ok, doesn’t matter to me.
Blanker: Ok! Cool. It’s cause I like doing breaks.
::davepoobond gives Blanker the break list and then stands behind the counter, doing nothing::
davepoobond (like a robot): Assuming the Lead position…
::Blanker laughs::
– at davepoobond’s job, 6/21/07
::Everyone is eating dinner at a restaurant near a window::
::davepoobond’s dad goes outside to smoke a cigarette::
::Everyone keeps talking::
::dadpoobond goes up near the window while he is smoking and shakes his head, nods his head, acting like he can hear and is part of the conversation::
– at a Mexican restaurant, 6/19/07
::Blare is throwing food in the trash while davepoobond is watching TV::
Blare: Hey. When do you eat?
davepoobond: Huh? “When do I eat?”?
Blare: Yeah. Like, I see you, but I never see you eat.
davepoobond: I dunno.
Blare: Do you?
davepoobond: What? Eat?
Blare: Yeah.
davepoobond: Yeah…
::davepoobond shrugs::
– at davepoobond’s apartment, 6/16/07
::davepoobond is listening to his iPod particularly loudly at his job::
Customer: Shhhh!
::Customer puts his index finger to his lips::
::davepoobond looks at him weird::
Customer: I can’t hear!
davepoobond (thinking): What are you trying to hear? You’re not listening to anyone or talking to anyone.
::davepoobond just looks at him weird as the customer leaves::
– at davepoobond’s job, 6/15/07
::davepoobond is filling up balloons::
::Vance is doing nothing, just walking around bitching about stuff but not actually helping with anything::
davepoobond: Vance, could you help me out and just hold this balloon You don’t have to tie it or anything.
Vance: Nope! Nope! I don’t hold balloons! I just do computer stuff.
davepoobond (thinking to himself): Lazy bastard.
– at davepoobond’s job, 6/13/07
::Test day for Comm 233. During the test, the moderately attractive girl smacks her gum in the quiet room fairly loudly. During which, she also writes very hard on the paper and you can hear every single stroke of the pencil and pen she used. Afterwards, at work… ::
davepoobond: Geez, I did kinda bad on the test. I didn’t even know we had a test until I turned and asked the guy sitting next to me.
Ely Munaz: hahaha!
davepoobond: And this girl next to me was chewing her gum really loudly the whole time. As much as I liked hearing the noises coming from her mouth for about 10 seconds, it got annoying real fast.
::Ely Munaz laughs again::
davepoobond: And she wrote really hard on the paper, too. It was like a flamethrower under her pencil. FWOOOOSH FWOOOOSH FWWOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!
– at davepobond’s job, 6/10/07
::Maria Sweden, davepoobond, and David Arr are working together at Customer Service::
Maria Sweden: There was a girl that was totally macking on davepoobond at the Brief.
davepoobond: Yuck! She wasn’t a girl at all. She was a beast! She was fatter than me!
Maria Sweden: You’re not exactly skinny yourself, davepoobond.
davepoobond: Exactly! Plus, she looked like David Arr!
::davepoobond points to David Arr::
David Arr: Whaaaat?
::David Arr laughs embarrassingly and really loudly::
David Arr: I don’t know whether to take that as a compliment or insult!
::davepoobond laughs at David Arr’s response::
– at davepoobond’ job, 6/7/07
“You’re gonna rip my books and then I’m gonna rip your ass!”
– a customer at davepoobond’s job.
“I have no doubt he loves you because he has chosen you to be his life, and special partner, and wife, for the rest of his life.”
– the preacher dude in a wedding video davepoobond is editing
::A customer from another state calls the phone.::
Guy From Arizona: Hello?
davepoobond: Hi, how can I help you?
Guy From Arizona: Do you guys sell any of those 2004 World Series Shirts anymore?
davepoobond: No, we’ve been sold out of those for a couple years.
Guy From Arizona: Ah, shit, dammit, fuck!
davepoobond: Ummm….
Guy From Arizona: Do you guys have a catalog?
davepoobond: No, I’m sorry, we have a web site where —
Guy From Arizona: Ah shit. I don’t have Internet Access Thing.
davepoobond: Oh… sorry.
Guy From Arizona: Can you drive me down some shirts?
davepoobond: Um… sure, for a thousand dollars haha.
Guy From Arizona: Really?
– at davepoobond’s job, 6/5/07
::Billy is reading a book and a picture of his ex-girlfriend from 11th grade pops out and falls on the floor.::
::davepoobond picks it up off the floor and on the back, is written…::
2: My Dearest Bugs or Googely Bear AKA Billy =)
Here is a brand new pic of your sexy bunny for you to drool over. Enjoy.
Don’t get too happy.
11th grade 02-03
<3 always, Lola
::After reading the back out loud, davepoobond turns the picture around and acts shocked, mostly cause of how she looks, which is more on the unattractive side than the latter::
davepoobond: I’m keeping this for my journal, are you sure you don’t want it?
Billy: No! I DON’T WANT IT!!!
– at davepoobond’s job, 6/5/07
Man With Moustache: When are you guys going to get more of these bobble heads?
Blanker: I don’t know, we get lots of requests for it…
davepoobond: We’ll never get them again, they never order them because that would be too smart.
Blanker: Also, no one even bought them when we had them in stock the first time.
Man With Moustache: Ohhh! I would buy one…
Blanker: Haha, we’ll give you a call when they come in.
Man With Moustache: Oh, thanks.
davepoobond: Yeah, we’ll give you a call when they come in. You don’t even have to leave your phone number.
– at davepoobond’s job, 6/3/07
::Female customer asks where the bathroom is.::
davepoobond: Past the escalator and to the right.
::davepoobond points in the direction she should go.::
::The customer goes past the escalator in the wrong direction, announcing her actions as she does so::
Customer: PAST THE ESCALATOR… AND TO THE RIGHT????
::Customer looks in the completely opposite direction she should be going.::
davepoobond: Umm… no, that way.
Customer: That’s the left!
::Customer goes out of sight. davepoobond and David Arr just laugh.::
::davepoobond then imitates exactly what the customer did and they just crack up at how stupid what just happened was.::
– at davepoobond’s job, 6/2/07