When you’ve got a lot of used books to deal with, you’re bound to find something… unique in a few of them.
“When I was young, I remember how much better things were made. Things were not made of cheap plastic but of metal. You got a feeling you had something solid, rather than something that would last only a few months. I remember when Uncle Harry banged his car into a wall, it hardly had a dent. But now you can just barely hit a car and you see some very visible damage. The trouble is that nobody complains. People are satisfied with poorer materials even though they might even be more expensive than the previous cheaper ones. Or maybe people fool themselves into thinking that the newer items are better. After all, metal rusts, plastic is lighter to carry, and most people have good car insurance.”
– from a book
“The computer helps advertisers create such images as cars turning into tigers and moviemakers to show images like the blood of a Klingon floating across the movie screen. Using the computer as a canvas, artists are changing the way we see the world.”
– from davepoobond’s 7th Grade Math Book
“The computer is quickly becoming the paintbrush of the movie and advertising industries. Animators and commercial artists use software graphics programs to shape three-dimensional objects that look very realistic.”
– from davepoobond’s 7th Grade Math Book
Q: Who said “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
A: Someone who’s never been hit by a dictionary.
Rachel has just written a book called Heil in the Freaky Jugs. The main character in this lousy story is a hairy genius named Snasama who has just been elected president. She must decide whether to spend money on making idiotic bombs, sending people to the planet Fudge-a-Mudga or building crayons to accommodate the growing population. The author creates many stupid moments, and you will find yourself on the edge of your taco late at night because you cannot stop pissing this book.
Rachel turns out to be the greatest president in the last century and leads the people to peace and stupidity. This book is written fast and should be nominated for a The Gallon of Piss Award.
Rave’n – n. the holy book of the Ravist religion. Full of different “prescriptions” of Ecstasy and tells you what other household drugs can help you rave better.
I manage a large discount bookstore and was amused by a phone conversation one of my salesclerks had with a new computer user.
The caller asked if we carried “Linux for Dummies.”
“No,” the clerk replied, “but we do sell ‘The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Linux.'”
The man groaned and said, “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Linux is way over my head!”
A man and his wife were lying in bed the other night when he noticed she had bought a new book entitled, “What 20 Million American Women Want.”
He grabbed the book out of her hands and started thumbing through the pages.
His wife was a little annoyed. “Hey, what do you think you’re doing?”
He calmly replied, “I just wanted to see if they spelled my name right.”
I’d been working on my business degree for about a year when I finally got to take a popular finance course. I went to the bookstore to buy the text and was shocked to find out that it would cost me $96. I asked how much it was worth if I sold it back at the end of the semester.
“You’ll get $24,” said the clerk.
“This is insane,” I protested as I wrote out the check.
“I know,” replied the clerk sympathetically. “I’ve always thought that a person who buys a book for $96 and then sells it back for $24 should fail the course.”
Q: What would you get if you crossed a bookmobile with a fire engine?
A: A book (hook) and ladder truck.
Q: What did the book say to the therapist?
A: “I’m trying to find my shelf (myself).”
England’s West Country is known for its charming cottage-like shops. While visiting the area, my friend peered in through one window to see shelf upon shelf of interesting-looking books. So she went inside.
A woman appeared though a beaded curtain and asked, “Can I help you?”
“No, just browsing,” said my friend.
“Fine,” came the reply. “But so you know, around here most people knock before entering someone’s home.”
Little Boo Peep
Dr. Spook’s Advice
Moldy Lox and the Three Bears
Winnie the Boo
The Weirdzard of Oz
Ra-moana Forever
Little Wo-moan
Pin-ooohh!-chio
Dr. Boolittle
Tails of Peter Rabid
Black Booty