blowthetoad: you cant be james bond
blowthetoad: he’s older than 17
tpc,
t r i p wood,
larkin,
hat toss,
blowthetoad: you cant be james bond
blowthetoad: he’s older than 17
blowthetoad: black brotha, kneehole pants
blowthetoad: g2h
blowthetoad: misfits, twilight zone, R-A-M-O-N-E-S
blowthetoad: !!!!!!
blowthetoad: >:o>:o
blowthetoad uses a screen name davepoobond hasn’t seen before.
–
blowthetoad: Hey can I join Squackle.?
davepoobond: stop asking, i know its you
blowthetoad: Who is me?
blowthetoad: blowthetoad? nah
blowthetoad: not me
blowthetoad: i thought you only accepted those who you knew in real life
davepoobond: i never said anything about him
blowthetoad: and Holmes…….
blowthetoad: you dont know him in real life
davepoobond: i never said anything about btt
blowthetoad: btt?
blowthetoad: when i was like 12……
blowthetoad: yeah 12…
blowthetoad: i asked why i was a poop troop
blowthetoad: you said “cuz squackle members are people we know in real life”
davepoobond: i dont need to explain myself to you
blowthetoad: =-O
blowthetoad: haha, remember when i talked to your mom?
blowthetoad: she was like “why can’t you have a civil conversation?”
blowthetoad: then thats the last i’ve ever talked to you
davepoobond: oh wow
davepoobond: is that supposed to be funny
blowthetoad: this was your old font
blowthetoad: aaaah the good days
blowthetoad: NOW SHUT UP
blowthetoad: if it was funny i would have said ‘lol’
blowthetoad: im here to try out for the poop troops
davepoobond: there are no more poop troops
davepoobond: i dont know what you’re talking about
blowthetoad: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
blowthetoad: all this training….
blowthetoad: for what?
davepoobond: well, you didnt die, like you were supposed to
blowthetoad: ooh…
blowthetoad: hold ond
–
He signs onto a different screen name.
–
blowthetoad: hi, i would like to join the poop troops
davepoobond: i told you, no more poop troops
blowthetoad: you fucking nazi, dont lie to me
blowthetoad: https://www.squackle.com/IMs/blowthetoad/davepoobond3.shtml
blowthetoad: when did i do that?
blowthetoad: WAIT
blowthetoad: no
blowthetoad: thats not me
–
He signs back onto his first screen name.
–
blowthetoad: https://www.squackle.com/IMs/blowthetoad/davepoobond3.shtml
blowthetoad: okay, yeah
blowthetoad: thats me
blowthetoad: when did i do that?
davepoobond: i dont care to remember
davepoobond: but do you think i make that shit up
blowthetoad: it’s a small possibility…..
blowthetoad: hey, atleast update my age
blowthetoad: im now 14, uhthankyou
davepoobond: not to me your not
blowthetoad: well thats slimy bullshit
blowthetoad: whats the diff between jesus and a pic of jesus?
blowthetoad: a pic of jesus takes only one nail to hang
blowthetoad: *insert drum sound here*
davepoobond: boy thats funny
blowthetoad: yeah, it’s swell aint it?
blowthetoad: did your mom learn to breakdance yet?
blowthetoad: breakdancing: invented by a black person trying to steal a hubcap from a moving car
blowthetoad IMs davepoobond with the same screen name he’s been using the last few times.
–
blowthetoad: hi, i got a new screen name, can i try again?
davepoobond: thats the same one, idiot
blowthetoad: oh… i am sorry
blowthetoad: hold on
blowthetoad: i’ll be back
blowthetoad signed off at 7:57:15 PM.
Later in the day, after #10513.
–
blowthetoad: can i try again?
davepoobond: no go away
blowthetoad: dammit fuck shit >:o
blowthetoad: is this dave?
blowthetoad: rumor has it his mom took away his mouse ball
davepoobond: no it isnt
blowthetoad: who is it
davepoobond: stop talkin to me i dont care about you
davepoobond: blowthetoad
blowthetoad: no this is stimpy or elmo
davepoobond: no its 9876543210
blowthetoad: ooooooooh
blowthetoad: now it’s all coming in clear
blowthetoad: sorry to disturb you
blowthetoad: what is dave’s AOL email
davepoobond: notachance@aol.com
blowthetoad: awesome
blowthetoad: tee hee heeeeee
blowthetoad: who updates squackle
davepoobond: yourmom@aol.com
blowthetoad: blowthetoad is just a fucking muffin
blowthetoad: i dont like him
davepoobond: that’s sweet
blowthetoad: no, it’s snour
blowthetoad: not sour
blowthetoad: snour
blowthetoad: who is the sexiest person alive?
blowthetoad: Nose
blowthetoad: who ihas the biggest penis?
blowthetoad: Stimpy
blowthetoad: who is the redest yellow-bellied anus?
blowthetoad: Elmo
davepoobond: your not making me laugh
blowthetoad: im not trying to
blowthetoad: im just…
blowthetoad: some canadian chef
davepoobond: stop being a dipshit, and maybe i’ll let you be a loser trooper
davepoobond: since you seem to have such a fetish about being a soldier
blowthetoad: i am a soldier… named preston,so it blows away the purpose
davepoobond: might as well be in the ranks of your own kind
davepoobond: i’ll let you be a loser trooper named blowyourmom
blowthetoad: yay
blowthetoad was on a screen name he wasn’t usually on.
–
blowthetoad: i want to be a poop troop
davepoobond: who says there’s spaces open
blowthetoad: =-O
blowthetoad: kick out an un-active member
davepoobond: but your moms doing just fine
blowthetoad: exactly
blowthetoad: thats why i want your dad
blowthetoad: wait… no
davepoobond: good comeback, not
blowthetoad: dammit
blowthetoad: i would like to join the poop troops
blowthetoad: as “The Great Panda”
davepoobond: who says there’s spaces open
davepoobond: you really think that’s funny
blowthetoad: tell me funny
davepoobond: oh look at me i’m a great panda
blowthetoad: you have six seconds
blowthetoad: i never said i was a great panda
davepoobond: until what
davepoobond: you blow your load
blowthetoad: yes
blowthetoad: how is davepoobond funny?
davepoobond: cause your mom is
blowthetoad: or stimpy or elmo
blowthetoad: that makes me want to rip the eyes out of a baby seal with a rusty mellon scooper
davepoobond: har har
blowthetoad: you dumb canadian
davepoobond: the only way i’ll let you in is if you die and don’t IM me ever again
blowthetoad: ya!
davepoobond: sorry you IMd me again
davepoobond: you’ll never be a poop troop
davepoobond: sorry
davepoobond: you blew it
blowthetoad: damn
blowthetoad: bye
davepoobond: get a new sn and try again
blowthetoad: lol
blowthetoad: bye
davepoobond: yo
Holmes: sup
davepoobond: not much
davepoobond: the_insane_midget is definitely blowthetoad
davepoobond: isn’t that swell
Holmes: ugh
davepoobond: cuz he asked if he could join the “pooper troopers or whatever”
davepoobond: on “tpc”
davepoobond: i’ll give u the IM
–
davepoobond shows Holmes the following IM:
–
davepoobond: thats it
davepoobond: he’s such an idiot
davepoobond: he repeatedly keeps trying to join squackle under different names
davepoobond: i’ve got a joke for you
davepoobond: whats the longest word in the dictionary?
Holmes: dunno
davepoobond: smiles. because there’s a mile between the s’s
Holmes: ………
Holmes: you should be shot
davepoobond: =D
Holmes: Reversi
davepoobond: whoohoo
Holmes: i’ve beaten spock 3 times
davepoobond: geez, that computer is hard
davepoobond: not spock….easy
davepoobond: tamagatchi lol
davepoobond: eh do u have this IM
davepoobond: still
davepoobond: with the joke
Holmes: yes
davepoobond: can u send it to me
blowthetoad was on a different sn than what davepoobond knew him on, trying to act like he was somebody else.
–
blowthetoad: well
blowthetoad: can i join squackle?
davepoobond: no
davepoobond: i dont know who this is, but this is blowthetoad
davepoobond: ur asking the wrong idiot
blowthetoad: eh?
blowthetoad: no, i want to join squackle
blowthetoad: a pooper trooper or whatever
davepoobond: spaces are full
davepoobond: try back next millenia
blowthetoad: =-O
blowthetoad: who is this?
davepoobond: blowthetoad
blowthetoad: then why are you on dave’s name?
davepoobond: cuz i hacked it
blowthetoad: =0o
davepoobond: now go away
blowthetoad: :'(
blowthetoad: where can i contact dave
davepoobond: u cant
davepoobond: i tied him up and gagged him
blowthetoad: =-O
blowthetoad: darnit
blowthetoad: hey
blowthetoad: i would like to join
blowthetoad: the poop troops
blowthetoad: well?
davepoobond: this isnt davepoobond. this is blowthetoad. i hacked into his account and am now using it.
blowthetoad: =-o
blowthetoad: you are an elite person
blowthetoad: but…
blowthetoad: i have a confession
blowthetoad: i am blowthetoad
blowthetoad: :-/
blowthetoad: where is dave
blowthetoad: is this elmo or stimpy
davepoobond: this is blowthetoad.
blowthetoad: yeah, ok
blowthetoad: because i’m blowthetoad
blowthetoad: whats your email then
blowthetoad: what state are you in
davepoobond: i’m retarded, i dont know where i live
blowthetoad: haha
blowthetoad: seriously, where is dave
davepoobond: this is Holmes
blowthetoad: yeah sure
blowthetoad: prove it
blowthetoad: where do you work
davepoobond: in ur moms ass
blowthetoad: we work at the same place
Okay, so this one day I was riding my bike home from (private) school, when this security guard in front of the mall rides after me all fast. He was pretty young, but older than me. That was for sure. Yeah. no… yeah.
I didnt do anything wrong, so I kept it cool and rode my bike at an average speed. I was at the corner of Market St. and Gray Ave. The security guard rides his bike up behind me and was all like “okay, you take this side, and I’ll take this side.” and I was all like “what the fuck are you talking about?” and he just repeated himself.
I told him that i didnt do anything, and that he should go back to the mall but he was all like “I’m done there.” I’m all confused and I’m like “Okay, good for you buddy.”
I go home and put on my robe and slippers, almost forgetting about the strange day. I told my mom to fetch me my pipe, and then at 4:30, I always have to clean Bob’s… err… my step dad’s car and shoot some hoops with that douchebag.
Going back into the house, accompanied by a slap to the ass by Bob; I see my mom talking at the front door.
My mom’s a fat ass so I couldnt see who the hell she was talking to. I look under her legs, and I stare up and see the same security guard talking to her that I saw in front of the mall earlier that day. He had another security guard with him this time, and then the security gaurd patted me on the head and said “hey I saw you today” and I was all thinking “…what the fuck?” and then the other security guard handed me a book and said “here you go you little rascal!”
I looked at the cover and it said “The Book Of Mormon.” What… The… Fuck…
My Retard name is: Honren Ierris (blowthetoad)
This is an e-mail.
–
From : “{ -Brandon- }” <dna055@hotmail.com>
To : davebond_cashmm@hotmail.com
Subject : squackle submission
Date : Tue, 26 Mar 2002 18:32:16 -0800
hello david john bond, it is i, the great ‘blowthetoad’ my new screen name for AIM is ‘RngMstr1428’ did u get a new screen name other than davepoobond or something? to let you know, i hav e matured, but still have a poopy sence of humor in my head. i have new words pics, and other stuff, and i am not 12 you little skooter!!!!!! (thats one of them) i am 14 now! or i will be in 2 weeks. oh shiiit. :: farts :: email me back or IM me on AIM . i will see you around..good bye
-Sex Muffin- (thats my new ‘squackle-name’)
P.S. i made the subject ‘squackle submission’ so you wouldnt think it was spam)
To play: Arrow keys, space bar, and numbers. Try other letters on the keyboard, like s.
:: Tim passes note to blowthetoad::
Tim: I LIVE IN YOUR DESK!!!…. i’ll give more info later…
:: blowthetoad passes note back ::
blowthetoad: Well… for the love of bologna! If you live in my desk,
Jerica isn’t German!–(GERMAN PRIDE!)
:: Tim passes note back to blowthetoad ::
Tim: GRRR… YOU WANNA DIE?!!!!!!
:: blowthetoad passes not back ::
blowthetoad: well well well…. have the tables have turned… I <u>WILL</u>
hump a monkey’s nose…DEEP! and if your lucky, yo mama will be next!
:: Tim passes not back to blowthetoad ::
Tim: well… I should bitch slap you to, boy!!
:: blowthetoad passes note back ::
blowthetoad: has your mom ever been ‘bucked’ by <u>TIM</u> <b>BUCK</B> too?
:: Tim passes note back to blowthetoad ::
Tim: eat shit