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BLONDES ARE NOT DUMB…
Tag Archives: blonde
Joke #5342
A Policeman pulls a blonde in a sports car over for speeding and is trying to explain to her what and where her driver’s license might be. After she eventually gives him her driver’s license, he asks for registration.
Getting another blank blonde look from her, he explains, “It’s that little piece of paper you get with your car and you keep it in the glove compartment.”
“Ah,” she says as she bends over to get it. While she is looking through the glove compartment, the officer unzips his pants and pulls his cock out.
Excited that she had found her registration, she turns around and looks up. A look of dismay crosses her face and she says, “Oh, no! Not another breathalizer test!”
Joke #5321
There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They entered a bar and when the waitress came over they ordered some drinks.
A few minutes later they went to the bathroom and there was a woman sitting outside. The woman said “Beware of our new attraction, the mirror. If you tell the truth you will be rewarded with riches, but if you lie, you will be sucked into the mirror forever.”
So the redhead walks into the bathroom and up to the mirror and says “I think I am the most beautiful of us three.” She found herself holding the keys to a new really nice car.
Then the brunette goes to the mirror and says “I think I am the most talented of us three.”
Then the blonde goes up to the mirror and says “I think…” and was immedietly sucked into the mirror.
Joke #5316
There were 5 blondes and 1 brunette hanging on a rope on the edge of a cliff.
The rope could only hold 5 people and it was just about to snap.
The brunette says, “Save yourselves, I’ll let go” and sure enough she did.
Amazed at the brunettes bravery all the blondes clap.
Joke #5310
One day there was a blonde driving down the road and was listening to the radio.
The person on the radio kept telling blonde joke after blonde joke so she turned off the radio.
A little while later she sees a blonde in a cornfield in a rowboat so she pulls over gets out and yells “Its blondes like you that give us a bad name, if I could swim I would come out there and kick your ass.”
Joke #5302
There were three woman stuck on an island, a blonde, redhead, and a brunette.
They find a magic lamp and get 1 wish each from the genie inside.
The redhead wishes to be back home with her family.
The brunette wishes to be richer and off the island (which is actualy two wishes, but the genie grants them anyway).
And the blonde says “Well, I’m kind of lonely. I wish my friends were back!”
Joke #5299
Q: Why did the blonde get chucked out of the M&M factory?
A: Because she threw out all the W’s!
Joke #5298
I swear to God this is a true story…
I went to the mall with my cousin, and we were walking to his car when we passed 2 blondes. They were trying to open their car with a hanger. My cousin asked one of the girls if she needed any help, and she replied, “Yes, and will you hurry up, because the top is down and it looks like it’s gonna rain soon.”
P.S. My cousin is blonde too, maybe that’s why he offered to help…
Joke #5297
Q: A blonde and a brunette jump off a cliff. Who lands first?
A: The brunette, because the blonde has to ask for directions
Joke #5296
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and Titanic?
A: Not every one has seen Titanic.
Joke #5295
There is a blonde and a brunette that own a ranch and it is going to be sold if they can’t increase the cow herd.
The brunette goes to find a bull for the herd and tells the blonde she will fax her so the blonde can take the truck, hitch it to the trailer and come get the bull.
The brunette takes $60 and goes to a neighboring ranch. She finds a bull and pays $59 for it. Then she goes and tries to send a fax, but the cost is $.99 per word.
The brunette thinks a minute and then says to send the word “comfortable”.
The operator looks at the brunette funny, so she says ” Don’t worry, my sisters a blonde so she’ll read it slow”
Joke #5294
A skyscaper is on fire, there are three people on the top of the building, waiting to be rescued; a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.
There are people standing on the streets holding out a blanket and asking them to jump.
The brunette jumped and they moved the blanket away. She fell to her death.
The crowds were asking the redhead to jump but she said no.
“Don’t worry, we all hate brunettes and love redheads.”
She believed it and jumped, and again, they moved the blanket and she fell to her death.
The blonde quickly shouted, “okay, I will jump but only on one condition. You all must put the blanket on the floor and back off 10 meteres, then I will jump!”
Joke #5292
A blind man enters a Ladies’ Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, sir, you should know five things …..
1 – The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 – The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3 – I’m a 6 feet tall, 200 pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 – The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weight lifter.
5 – The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, “Nah…Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”
Joke #5291
Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 500, 1 to hold the lightbulb and 499 to turn the house
Joke #5290
Q: How do you know if a blonde’s been trying to send an e-mail?
A: There’s an envelope in the disc drive.