Q: How do know a blonde has been using your computer?
A: There’s white out all over the screen
Joke #5302
There were three woman stuck on an island, a blonde, redhead, and a brunette.
They find a magic lamp and get 1 wish each from the genie inside.
The redhead wishes to be back home with her family.
The brunette wishes to be richer and off the island (which is actualy two wishes, but the genie grants them anyway).
And the blonde says “Well, I’m kind of lonely. I wish my friends were back!”
Joke #5301
A blonde walks into an appliance store, looks around, points and tells the shopkeeper, “Sir, I’d like the TV on the 3rd shelf.”
The shopkeeper looks at her, and says , “I’m sorry ma’am, we don’t serve blondes. Please leave.”
The blonde was very angry, so she went home, dyed her hair brown , and returned the next day. She asked the shopkeeper, “How much is the tv on the 3rd shelf?”
The shopkeeper looked at her, sighed, and said, “Look ma’am, we don’t serve blondes! Please leave.”
By this time, the girl was infuriated. So she went home, shaved her head, and came back the next day. She asked the shopkeeper about the TV, and he told her, “Ma’am. I’ve told you. We don’t serve blondes, so you’ll have to leave.”
The blonde, in a rage, demanded, “How could you tell I am a blonde???”
The shopkeeper looked at her, shook his head, and said, “Because that’s not a TV… It’s a microwave.”
Joke #5299
Q: Why did the blonde get chucked out of the M&M factory?
A: Because she threw out all the W’s!
Joke #5298
I swear to God this is a true story…
I went to the mall with my cousin, and we were walking to his car when we passed 2 blondes. They were trying to open their car with a hanger. My cousin asked one of the girls if she needed any help, and she replied, “Yes, and will you hurry up, because the top is down and it looks like it’s gonna rain soon.”
P.S. My cousin is blonde too, maybe that’s why he offered to help…
Joke #5297
Q: A blonde and a brunette jump off a cliff. Who lands first?
A: The brunette, because the blonde has to ask for directions
Joke #5296
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and Titanic?
A: Not every one has seen Titanic.
Joke #5295
There is a blonde and a brunette that own a ranch and it is going to be sold if they can’t increase the cow herd.
The brunette goes to find a bull for the herd and tells the blonde she will fax her so the blonde can take the truck, hitch it to the trailer and come get the bull.
The brunette takes $60 and goes to a neighboring ranch. She finds a bull and pays $59 for it. Then she goes and tries to send a fax, but the cost is $.99 per word.
The brunette thinks a minute and then says to send the word “comfortable”.
The operator looks at the brunette funny, so she says ” Don’t worry, my sisters a blonde so she’ll read it slow”
Joke #5294
A skyscaper is on fire, there are three people on the top of the building, waiting to be rescued; a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.
There are people standing on the streets holding out a blanket and asking them to jump.
The brunette jumped and they moved the blanket away. She fell to her death.
The crowds were asking the redhead to jump but she said no.
“Don’t worry, we all hate brunettes and love redheads.”
She believed it and jumped, and again, they moved the blanket and she fell to her death.
The blonde quickly shouted, “okay, I will jump but only on one condition. You all must put the blanket on the floor and back off 10 meteres, then I will jump!”
Joke #5293
There was a blonde and she pulled in front of a truck driver on the road and the truck driver got her to pull over and he drew a circle on the road with some chalk and said “stay in this circle” so he went in his truck and got a knife and cut her seats and the blonde laughed.
He gets some gas and pours it on her car and she laughed more. He got a match and threw it on the car. The blonde was laughing so much when he asked why she said “Every time you turned around I STEPPED OUT OF THE CIRCLE”
Joke #5292
A blind man enters a Ladies’ Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, sir, you should know five things …..
1 – The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 – The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3 – I’m a 6 feet tall, 200 pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 – The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weight lifter.
5 – The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, “Nah…Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”
Joke #5291
Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 500, 1 to hold the lightbulb and 499 to turn the house
Joke #5290
Q: How do you know if a blonde’s been trying to send an e-mail?
A: There’s an envelope in the disc drive.
Joke #5289
There was a blonde coyote that got caught in a bear trap.
It chewed off three of its legs to get free and it was still stuck.
Joke #5288
There’s a blonde, brunette, and a redhead all stranded on an island.
They are about 30 miles from land, and the brunette bets the redhead and blonde she could swim to land first, and if she didn’t, then she’d pay them both $100.
Well they all started swimming, and 10 miles into the swim, the redhead became tired and drowns.
The blonde and brunette continued, and about 2 miles from shore the blonde became tired, turned around and went back.
The brunette, just turned around and said what a dumbass, and never heard from the blonde again.