Q: What’s the difference between bad breath and a politician’s speech?
A: One’s a blast of hot, smelly air, and the other is a…uh…never mind.
Joke #11043
Q: What’s the difference between an elephant’s fart and a politician’s speech?
A: One’s a smelly load of hot air, and the other’s a discharge from a large mammal.
Joke #11042
Q: What’s green, slimy, and comes out of your nose?
A: Milk that went down the wrong way during lunch.
Joke #11041
Q: What happened to the kid who got sick watching “The Honeymooners”?
A: He ralphed.
Joke #11040
Q: What do you call a cartoon about a stingy man and his bird?
A: “Wren and Skimpy.”
Joke #11039
Q: What do you call a sitcom about a kid who hates school?
A: “Butt-head of the Class.”
Joke #11038
Q: What do you call a modern sitcom about a funny suburban kid who picks his nose and laughs obnoxiously?
A: “Leave It to Beavis”
Joke #11037
Q: What do you call a hamburger restaurant where kids pick their noses?
A: Booger King.
Joke #11036
Q: Why is toejam served on a toenail considered a delicacy in some countries?
A: Because it resembles a clam on the half-shell.
Tilt-A-Vomit
Marian laughed loudly at Jean when she noticed her friend’s sick, pained face as they sped around the Tilt-A-Whirl.
“I feel sick,” Jean moaned.
“HA!” Marian screamed. “You just have to suck it up.” Jean leaned over the side of their car and vomited violently, which only increased Marian’s laughter. Suddenly, the ride lurched around, and Jean’s vomit hit Marian squarely in the face.
Moral of the story? What goes around comes around.
Joke #11034
Q: Why did the cannibals keep the missionaries’ tents cool?
A: So their meal could be served chilled.
Joke #11033
Q: What happened to the morgue attendant who always made bad jokes?
A: He got a chilly reception.
Joke #11032
Q: What do you call a figure skater with a chest cold?
A: Peggy phlegming.
Joke #11031
Q: What do you call a shady character with a runny nose?
A: A phlegm-flam man.
zazzlestick
zazzlestick – n. a neon pencil