The trouble with dark horse candidates is you can’t find out about their track record until you’re saddled with them.
Did you hear the one about the dumb politician who declined to run for Congress because he wasn’t into jogging?
The other day I met a politician who must have been campaigning too hard. I saw him shake a baby and kiss a man’s hand.
A wise man once said: “A politician who smiles when he makes a mistake has thought of someone else to blame it on.”
Politicians are carefree when it comes to junkets. They don’t care where they go as long as it’s free.
POLITICIAN: “I ask you to vote for me. I’m a man who never stole anything in my life. And all I want is a chance.”
“I’m glad to see that inflation hasn’t affected our local Congressman.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s still a two-bit politician.”
The economy is terrible. At the beginning of the fiscal year, the politicians promised things would improve by the last quarter. Well, I’m down to my last quarter and they haven’t improved.
Q: What’s the difference between bad breath and a politician’s speech?
A: One’s a blast of hot, smelly air, and the other is a…uh…never mind.
Q: What’s the difference between an elephant’s fart and a politician’s speech?
A: One’s a smelly load of hot air, and the other’s a discharge from a large mammal.