“‘For the first time in years I am able to enjoy sex as much as my husband. ?He says the feelings during sex remind him of when we were first married.’ Wendy – 51 years old”
– from a spam e-mail
Category Archives: Quotes
Quotes, re-enactments, “real-life” chat logs.
Quote #21032
“‘I thought I knew sexual pleasure before, but I have never in my life ?experienced such an incredible orgasm. Thank you so much for this?incredible product. My life will never be the same again.’ -Sherry, Las Vegas, NV”
– from a spam e-mail
Quote #21031
“Ever since the launch of Viagra™, women all over the world have been asking? ‘Where’s mine?'”
– from a spam e-mail
Quote #21030
“‘Instead of using a lubricant, I use Vitara™. It feels more natural and ?definitely makes sex more fun.’ -Pattie, 42 years old”
– from a spam e-mail
Quote #21028
“This music I think affects my because theres this up beat Bass line in Front of the Song. But deeper there’s This slow almost down Feeling to The guitar riff and the singer voice is slow and some what depressing”
– found at davepoobond’s high school
Quote #21026
“When I was young, I remember how much better things were made. Things were not made of cheap plastic but of metal. You got a feeling you had something solid, rather than something that would last only a few months. I remember when Uncle Harry banged his car into a wall, it hardly had a dent. But now you can just barely hit a car and you see some very visible damage. The trouble is that nobody complains. People are satisfied with poorer materials even though they might even be more expensive than the previous cheaper ones. Or maybe people fool themselves into thinking that the newer items are better. After all, metal rusts, plastic is lighter to carry, and most people have good car insurance.”
– from a book
Quote #21025
“The computer helps advertisers create such images as cars turning into tigers and moviemakers to show images like the blood of a Klingon floating across the movie screen. Using the computer as a canvas, artists are changing the way we see the world.”
– from davepoobond’s 7th Grade Math Book
Quote #21024
“The computer is quickly becoming the paintbrush of the movie and advertising industries. Animators and commercial artists use software graphics programs to shape three-dimensional objects that look very realistic.”
– from davepoobond’s 7th Grade Math Book
Quote #20869
For an assignment, davepoobond was supposed to create an “advertising tagline” for an image similar to the following.
“Now you don’t have to deal with your wife’s bullshit.”
– davepoobond
Quote #20868
For an assignment, davepoobond was supposed to create an “advertising tagline” for an image similar to the following.
“You don’t need to be in a race to reach a finish line.”
– davepoobond
Quote #20866
For an assignment, davepoobond was supposed to create an “advertising tagline” for an image similar to the following.
“Morning runs don’t have to be on the toilet.”
– davepoobond
Quote #20850
“There’s no question about it, if she is thin, she has an amazing stomach!”
– heard at davepoobond’s job
Quote #20826
“There will always be a high class and a low class, whether its Mexico, Asia, Australia, or Bahrain. If there are two people on Mars, there will still be a high class and a low class.”
– davepoobond
Quote #20825
“‘Politically correct’ is just a euphemism for ‘wrong'”
– davepoobond
Quote #20824: The Scary Bald Man Confrontation
This happened a long time ago, circa 2006 or 2007.
–
Cashier: What’s the return policy on books?
davepoobond: No returns.
Cashier: What if he just bought it?
davepoobond: I don’t know, you’d have to ask a book manager.
Scary Bald Man comes over and stares at davepoobond meanly and doesn’t even say anything. davepoobond just looks at him with a blank stare.
Scary Bald Man looks away for a second, in which davepoobond looks at the receptionist at the desk with him with a “what the fuck” look, and the guy looks back, seeing davepoobond looking weirdly at the guy. He resumes to stare davepoobond down for another second. At which point, walking away, he takes a step back towards davepoobond.
Scary Bald Man: I just bought the book, it hasn’t left the store okay?? I just want a refund!
davepoobond (to himself): Sorry, what do you want me to do about it? I can’t approve it.
For the next five minutes, the guy keeps staring at davepoobond until the cashier comes back.
davepoobond walks around uncomfortably.
davepoobond (mumbling to the receptionist): “Why is this guy still staring at me?”
Eventually he is dealt with and leaves the store.