“Thank goodness Thomas Edison invented the light bulb.”
“Why?”
“If he didn’t, we’d be watching TV in the dark.”
Category Archives: Jokes
The whole Joke archive. Tons of jokes!
Joke #12974
Q: What happens to dogs who chase cars?
A: They end up exhausted.
Joke #12971
Why is it that the easiest habits to break are the ones that are good for you?
Joke #12970
The trouble with dark horse candidates is you can’t find out about their track record until you’re saddled with them.
Joke #12969
The movie I just saw should have been rated RR instead of PG — for rotten and ridiculous!
Joke #12968
It seems like every celebrity is writing an expose these days. In the old days people used to kiss and tell. Now they kiss and sell… the book rights.
Joke #12967
I’m so afraid of water since I saw Jaws 2 that I won’t take a shower without a spear gun.
Joke #12966
Did you hear about the little termite who walked into the local bar and asked, “Where is the bar tender?”
Joke #12965
“My new movie was a bomb,” lamented the young actor.
“How do you know that?” asked his agent.
“I was in the theater at the premiere,” explained the actor, “and as soon as the audience saw the words, ‘The End,’ on the screen they applauded.”
Joke #12964
DIVER: “Do you know why drowning sharks are left to die?”
LIFEGUARD: “Sure. Only a fool would give a shark mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.”
Joke #12963
Q: Who are the patron saints of vacations?
A: St. Thomas, St. Croix and San Juan.
Joke #12962
Never trust anyone who owns a business built on the side of a hill. They’re not on the level!
Joke #12961
WRITER: “It’s an unfair world.”
BANKER: “What do you mean?”
WRITER: “Well, I can write a bad story and nobody will give a hoot. But if I write a bad check, I end up in jail.”
Joke #12960
Did you hear about the chicken farmer who never gave a sucker an even beak?
Joke #12959
LADY: “I need a birthday present for my husband.”
SALESMAN: “How about a hunting jacket or a smoking jacket?”
LADY: “No, my husband doesn’t hunt or smoke.”
SALESMAN: “Well, how about this? Don’t tell me you can turn down a bathrobe.”