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Johnny was working at his mother’s sewing machine, putting together an outfit for the school party.  He was working diligently, carefully sewing together the sleeves and the cuffs.  When he saw his favorite video come on TV, he decided to take a shortcut to save time, but ended up sewing over his finger, a wound that required nine stitches.

Moral of the story? A stitch in time saves nine.

Tags: party, sewing machine, shirt

(2 points)

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  Moo the Cow (127.8 KiB, 143 hits)

A story about Moo the Cow. By stimpyismyname.

Tags: download, power point presentation, stimpyismyname

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  Butt Monkey (3.0 KiB, 118 hits)

A story about Butt Monkey. By stimpyismyname.

Tags: download, power point presentation, stimpyismyname

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  Jack Snack The Incredible Hack (52.4 KiB, 105 hits)

A story about a bird. By stimpyismyname.

Tags: download, power point presentation, stimpyismyname

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  FAT the Story (84.6 KiB, 104 hits)

The story of FAT. By stimpyismyname.

Tags: download, power point presentation, stimpyismyname

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Marian laughed loudly at Jean when she noticed her friend’s sick, pained face as they sped around the Tilt-A-Whirl.

“I feel sick,” Jean moaned.

“HA!” Marian screamed.  “You just have to suck it up.”  Jean leaned over the side of their car and vomited violently, which only increased Marian’s laughter.  Suddenly, the ride lurched around, and Jean’s vomit hit Marian squarely in the face.

Moral of the story? What goes around comes around.

Tags: barf, tilt-a-whirl

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Narrator: Our scene is in a stinky high school in poopooville. The students are fucking with fear. Listen, as our heroine, Man With Boobs, speaks to Girl With No Hair.

Man With Boobs: The High School Monster has eaten three more pretty young poops and boiled the poop teacher.

Girl With No Hair: Don’t be afraid, doggy. I think the monster is really just a crap.

Man With Boobs: But UndieMan saw it. It has 65 arms and long poo-like hair and pee-yellow teeth.

Girl With No Hair: Hmm. That sounds like me.

Man With Boobs: When I go out I walk very fast.

Girl With No Hair: I am going to set a trap for this so-called monster. And you must be the crappy bait.

Man With Boobs: Oh no! Do I look moo? Get some other poopoo.

Tags: MadLibs

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Once there was a little kid who went on a poo-filled hike through a pee-filled forest in the middle of the bathroom.

At first he had fun watching the cute little bears go pooing through the trees and talking to the peas that dodged between the bushes.

Then it begun to get yellow and soon it was night and this kid whose name was SSR Guy realized he was lost and he got very frightened.

His boobs began to chatter and he wished he were home, with his daddy and Power Ranger toys.

Suddenly he noticed that the huge trees began to look like men in tights, and they seemed to reach out their platypuses to grab him.

Then he saw a weird shape floating in the air and glowing like pee.

It made a scary noise and said, “I am the spirit of the last of the SSRs. I am lonely haunting the forest alone and I came to find some fart to help me.”

Then it went squeak and the kid said sqwaw and that was the last anyone ever heard of him.

Boo!

Tags: MadLibs, SSR Guy

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davepoobond and SSR Guy filled this MadLibs in.

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If you go to some run-down place like Yellowstone National Elephant, you must know how to deal with the wild animals such as bears and wolves and galloping pieces of poop.

There are 3 kinds of bears, the grizzly bear, the pie-like bear and the smelly bear. Bears spend most of their time pooing or farting.

They look very smelly pie-like, but if you make them crappy, they may bite your platypus.

Bears will come up to your car and beg for grapes. They will stand on their hind legs and clap their gophers and pretend to be elephant-like.

But don’t get out of your poop mobile or offer the bears any pies or onions.

This same advice applies to other wild creatures such as poopoo and more poopoo.

Remember all these rules and you will spend your vacation farting and not get eating by a crrrap.

Tags: MadLibs, SSR Guy

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Flipper has been a household man ever since he made his poo-like debut on television in the marijuana-filled 1960s.

Boys, girls, even poopoos to this day fall in love with this smelly dolphin the minute they lay their legs on him.

After all, who can resist a dolphin that makes you poo out loud as he leaps 13 feet into the poo and catches a gas with his butts?

When Flipper lets out a loud fart, you just know he’s farting to prove beyond a shadow of a fart that dolphins are among the smartest farts in the ocean.

Tags: MadLibs

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For those campers who have a cold or poison poo, and are forced to stay in their toilet for the day, here is a list of TV crap you can watch.
- - - -
7 A.M.: The Fucking Early News. With PooPoo McGoo as the anchor prostitute and Marilyn Manson giving the weather. Special report on retirement home for old hos and teenage creaming
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10 A.M.: The Charles Manson $50,000 Invitational Pro-Am Man Killing Tournament. Held at the famous Alley Club in Rhode Island
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11 A.M.: The only movie today is “Rambo Breaks His Ass,” and it stars me as Rambo’s father and you as his ho. In this picture, Rambo kills everyone in his ass.
- - - -
2 P.M.: Documentary about fucked up animals living on the African ass. A study of lions, tigers, and turds. Should be viewed carefully.

Tags: MadLibs

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Once upon a time there was a rich guy named Ron Hubbles, III. Everybody just called him Muffins, though. His gangster friends called him Muvvenz. So, one day Muffins was in his vault admiring how much money he had. He had so much money, he could buy anything he wanted. He could’ve bought a country! But, instead he bought a ghetto in the middle of a city near Los Angeles.

Muffins, owning the ghetto, could do anything he wanted. He changed the name of the ghetto to Ronhub. He also changed all the names of the streets to a varied form of his name, Ron Hubbles, III. There were streets like Ronald, Ronald 2, The Hub, Ubbles, Hubbles III, etc. Yes, life was grand in the ghetto. All the windows that had been broken were boarded up, and it was a safe place because everyone had 8 locks on their doors. But one day, a good four days after it was bought, the ghetto Ronhub became a killing field. Gangsters from all over LA came into Ronhub, and shot everyone they could, because Muffins was sleeping with all their favorite hoes that lived in the area.

Everyone died. There were brains and pantless asses strewn across the streets. Some were even on the roofs of houses. Muffins sold the ghetto the next day, and no one moved into the area again. All the houses were used as crack houses for a year until a meth lab exploded and caused a chain reaction that blew up all the other drug labs in the ghetto.

The moral of the story:
You can’t buy love.

The End.

Tags: gangster, ghetto, love, money, muffin, The DPB Tag

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Once upon a time there was a peaceful alien planet. The inhabitants of the planet, the Calcules have enjoyed many luxuries, and has seen no war for the last 300,000 years. This race focused on education and the well-being of others. Sure there was the usual crime of someone paying too much Schniza, the English translation of the money the Calcules had, for a product. Yes, life was good.

Once upon a time, there was another planet called Earth. Well, Earth was a fucked up place because they had vampires, werewolves, zombies, and bats with penises the size of an elephant’s. Well, this other race of aliens, called the 9 Star 9 80085, was on a purifying mission, and they blew up the Earth.

So, thinking nothing of it anymore, the 9 Star 9 80085s left. But the immortal creatures of the Earth flew around space for another thousand space years, which is about 300 million Earth years. Eventually they all landed on the home world of the Calcules!

There was turmoil all across the lands. Zombies were eating the aliens, and since zombies ate brains, the aliens gave them a feast! The zombies got smarter, and turned the remaining parts of the aliens into shotguns, shooting all the other aliens with them.

The vampires gouged out all the alien’s eyes and sucked out their blood like that. The werewolves cut off the alien’s necks in one swipe. The bats with big penises drove in the alien humvees, and with a gattling gun the zombies made, the zombies shot every alien they could find.

There was a professional alien game called Alienball going on too. Everyone was having a good time, and no one knew of the cataclysms going on outside. The vampires built ramps going up to the top of the stadium on all sides, and once they were all built, at the same time, 3000 bats with big penises with zombies shooting gattling guns drove up the ramps and flew into the air, all of them shooting at the same time. Werewolf paratroopers and vampire fighter planes swooped in and killed all the aliens.

The End.

Fuck you Mark.

Horrible…

Tags: 9 Star 9 80085, alien, Alienball, bat, Calcules, Earth, just a test, The DPB Tag, vampire, werewolf, zombie

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Two hamsters are dancing next to two beavers on the street.
Then it starts to rain.
One of the hamsters has got an umbrella, and the other three animals say: You’re the greatest, now we can continue dancing, without getting wet!
So dance lasted till midnight, and then they married.

The End

Tags: beaver, DJaysea, hamster

(7 points)

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Dan suffers from claustrophobia. This fear has begun to interfere with his job and other parts of his life. A marine biologist, Dan could study below the ocean’s surface much more efficiently if he weren’t afraid to go underwater in small submarines. He decides early in life he was accidentally trapped inside a small cave while playing with friends.

Instead of psychoanalysis, Dan may choose behavioral therapy. Rather than focusing on the cause of his problem, the therapist will try to change his habit of avoiding small, enclosed places. The therapist will use behavior modification to help Dan face his fears. The therapist may help Dan learn to be in a small room, and try to relax at the same time. By repeating this many times, Dan learns to link small places with relaxation. Dan may also learn to feel proud each time he enters a small room without being afraid and may reward himself with small treats.

Tags: stupid story

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