Tags: box, food, poop

Squacklecast Episode 8 - Wait Till We Do a Number 9 [ 1 hr. 06 min. 31 sec. | 91.35 MB ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (61)

We have a guest this week!  It’s Daniel, the guy that went to the strawberry festival last week.  We put him on the grill and insult his decision for going to the strawberry festival along with his weird two-headed friend, Lucy the Two-Headed Goosey.

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Did you have a half naked wannabe Hulk running around during your visit to the theater during The Avengers?  Did he look as bad as this guy who used industrial paint and had to take 20 baths in two days to try to get it off?

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http://www.strawberryfestival.org/

What have we become? A never ending http://www.strawberryfestival.org/ ad for the http://www.strawberryfestival.org/ Strawberry Festival? http://www.strawberryfestival.org/

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In honor of the Zombie Apocalypse, AMC is starting a new show called…

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Zombie Apocalypse 2012:

Guy eating someone’s face off in Florida.

Guy eating his roommates brain in Maryland.

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Get off my computer, Jamie Oliver.  You’re not a chemist.  You’re just an asshole.

Silly Jaime Oliver, we shouldn’t be throwing away perfectly edible food.  We should at least ship it off to Africa!

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McDonalds used to be a value.  Now they try to sell you everything in bulk so that there is the same perceived value as what was once known as the Dollar Menu.

Only 20 bucks!

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That new Coldplay song is pretty bad.  It doesn’t even sound like a Coldplay song.

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Rihanna looks dumb.  Please remove her from my music and movies.

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Carly Rae Jepsen?  Who stepped in what?  Yet another terrible song for your listening pleasure:

The Sky Is The Limit must be gay code for anal sex.  So is “funnel cake.”

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#1 – Piss

#2 – Poo

#3 – Poop and Pee at the same time.

#4 – Poo, Pee, and a Yak (a barf).  Mostly done by bulimics and people who don’t feel very good.

#5 – Opening up your intestine and chopping up parts and throwing it at police (Zombies gotta poop somehow)

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The newer Dawn of the Dead introduced running zombies.  Is it really that much weirder than the idea of zombies in the first place?

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[Rec] was a “demonic infestation” sort of zombie thing rather than a virus or reanimated corpses due to magic/radiation.   By the way, that was a spoiler.

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Want to hire screamers with 13 dB yells or higher to make movies seem more scary than they are.  Apply at the offices of William Castle.

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Facebook and Mark Zuckerburg jokes are so funny.

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The real #5 – Peeing inside someone.  A whole #1, while penetrating them.

#6 – Same thing as #5 but taking a shit on them instead.

#7 – Forced ejaculation

#8 – Vegetables in orifices, coming out.

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The #1 (pun intended) defense against Zombies is making a house out of sugary treats.

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#9 – You don’t even need a can opener.  You just peel it back and drop that shit in, then you turn it to medium heat and stir it.

#10 – Strawberry sauce/Period Juice on your Hot Dog.

#11 – “Painting the porta potty.”  The paintbrush is your dick and the porta potty is a person’s ass.

X Squared – all of the above

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Boy that was a great one, huh, guys?  Who knows what’s going to happen next week!

Tags: A DPB Tag, anal sex, Florida, Maryland, piss, poop, strawberry, The Avengers, theater, zombie

Tagged People: Carly Rae Jepsen, davepoobond, DGo, Lucy the Two-Headed Goosey, Rihanna, Solid Billy

This form was submitted:  Feb 08 2005 / 16:24:47

name = jon poopstain
email = gghghnghngh@yahoo.com
use_email = no
bjoke = ur all gay n*ggers

Tags: gay, poop

Tagged People: jon poopstain

A shot a poop

It missed the hoop

So I tried to pee

But it hit me

Tags: pee, poop

Tagged People: KiLLer

This form was submitted:  Mar 23 2004 / 08:51:55

name = jesus
email = cheesehead182004
hatemail = the chance of anyone liking that poopy nasty dirty trash compactor story is either the person si stoned or completely strung out of E. That fuking story is sooo bad that if it was printed out it wouldn’t be good enough to wipe my pooopy ass!!!!!

Tags: cheese, poop, trash

Tagged People: Jesus

kevmeister01: i like 2 POOP

kevmeister01: it keeps u regular

xoSuPa CaNdYox: o reely

kevmeister01: yes

kevmeister01: its a fact

xoSuPa CaNdYox: mmhmmm

WhiteBoi3313: =p

kevmeister01: yes

kevmeister01: quite

kevmeister01: indeed

WhiteBoi3313: lol

xoSuPa CaNdYox: yah im shur lol

xoSuPa CaNdYox: >.<

kevmeister01: peeing is pretty good 2 but its better when u pee in a bush

xoSuPa CaNdYox: no toilitz bettr

xoSuPa CaNdYox: cuz u cn whip ur ass on toilit paper

WhiteBoi3313: lol

kevmeister01: no cuz if u pee in a bush u might hit a homeless person

xoSuPa CaNdYox: soO when u pee in a toilit u pee on fishez

WhiteBoi3313: ya but pissin while drun if fun 2 caz u pee on ppl

kevmeister01: ya

xoSuPa CaNdYox: n besidez mr.toilit man luvz doodoo n peepee

kevmeister01: i like 2 pee on drunk ppl

xoSuPa CaNdYox: datz not fair cuz i cnt pee on no1

WhiteBoi3313: lol

WhiteBoi3313: brb

kevmeister01: ya u can

xoSuPa CaNdYox: no i cnt

kevmeister01: u just need 2 work on ur aim i can help

xoSuPa CaNdYox: lol wth

WhiteBoi3313: lol

xoSuPa CaNdYox: u jus wna play w/ me

xoSuPa CaNdYox: lol

WhiteBoi3313: no u squat on

WhiteBoi3313: their foot

kevmeister01: ya

WhiteBoi3313: =p

WhiteBoi3313: or leg

kevmeister01: or their face

xoSuPa CaNdYox: lol

WhiteBoi3313: ya thtl be funny with their tounge out befo they lik u u take a piss

kevmeister01: i go for the mouth all the time every time

WhiteBoi3313: lol

WhiteBoi3313: me cat is stupid

kevmeister01: thats good

WhiteBoi3313: i moving me hand around and its following it wiht it head its funny

kevmeister01: … quite

kevmeister01: indeed

WhiteBoi3313: lol

kevmeister01: yes

Tags: cat, fish, homeless person, piss, poop, toilet

Tagged People: kevmeister01, WhiteBoi3313, xoSuPa CaNdYox

Sometimes people find Squackle with odd or funny search terms.  They’re so funny or weird sometimes, that I feel like I need to share it with the world.  Not saying that there isn’t a lot of weird shit on this site, but there are times where I just don’t expect certain search terms to actually lead to Squackle.  Also, I wouldn’t mind being the number one search for “what sound does a beaver make.”

Here’s a list of the exceedingly funny search terms as I see them, newest on top:

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backpack that looks like a little boy from the waist down

mom fucks barney the dinosaur

what is a good website for robot porn

girl fucking a guy while talking on the phone with her boyfriend

you dont need a boyfriend to have sex

pure uncut heroin

chumlee shemale having sex with a girls manga

neighbors hate us because i married a felon

i want to cum in katy perrys mouth

molested pinball

real free gay porn by email

Football players asses

white guy saying fucking rice to every mustang that passes by

child molesting manatee

teens using tampons with whiskey

tall girls are racist

girl pump fart

can you fuck a vacuum

masturbate bicycle

monkey pooping on a car window

chat with someone horny site

seeing tv reporters panties

what cream for ass

what sound does a beaver make

degrassi has muslims in the show

ass-hole kingdom

filthiest way of saying butthole

woman doing toilet with lion

why da fuck people always getting shot in degrassi

katy perry penis face

girl puts 4 tennis balls in her ass

college fuck festival

subway sandwich girl sucking cock

Tags: ass, bicycle, fart, grass, monkey, muslim, poop, sex, Squackle, vacuum

Tagged People: Google, Katy Perry

“your head looks like a big steamy tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurd and whoever reads this ,this goes out to you but your lovely really cos i lied out of my big hairy anus crack (YAY i love cracks)well bum cracks to stick my big hairy beaver up and give en a good old rodgering but im not gay”

- jezza

Tags: gay, hair, poop

Tagged People: jezza

This form was submitted:  Feb 29 2004 / 12:30:16

name = you are all lezzys
email = POOP@HOTMAIL.COM
use_email = no
qjoke = Q:What do you call a whole bunch of people trying to tell what they think is funny jokes? A:a whole bunch of lezzies trying to be funny and they really arent and they are all stupid and think they are funny but they are really losers with no lives and all they do is sit in front of the computer and tell jokes that arent even funny to their cyber friends!now if you ask me i think that is pretty funny stuff dont you agree!

Tags: poop

Tagged People: you are all lezzys

The night was dark,
The sky was blue,
Around the corner
The poop wagon flew,

A shot was fired,
A gun was herd,
And a man was killed
By a flying turd.

Tags: blue, gun, poop, sky, wagon

Tagged People: blah

Maw: Paw, git up.  It’s time to fuck the hogs and milk the trees.

Paw: Milk the trees???  Listen, I milked them last night.

Maw: Well, git up.  Listen, the old red cow is crowing.

Paw: What’s fer breakfast?  Corn pone and black-eyed poop?

Maw: No.  I got some nice fried beer belly.

Paw: Good.  After breakfast I’ll slap the chickens and I’ll have to fix the still.

Maw: What’s wrong with the still?

Paw: It’s turning out pee instead of moonshine.  I think I’ve been putting too much meat in the mash.

Maw: Well, don’t forget to take your rifle, Paw.  If a Revenue Agent spots you you can shoot him in the arse.

Tags: breakfast, MadLibs, pig, poop, tree

Parody of “Hey Diddle Diddle”

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Hi, diddle, diddle, the fish and the fiddle.
The turds jumped over the goon.
The little dog laughed to see such a sport,
And the dish ran away with the loon.

Tags: dog, MadLibs, poop

Submitted through the Page Error submission form.

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name = i love poopsex
email = gngf@yahoo.com
the_error =

Tags: poop, sex

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Tags: money, poop

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Tags: poop