We have a guest this week! It’s Daniel, the guy that went to the strawberry festival last week. We put him on the grill and insult his decision for going to the strawberry festival along with his weird two-headed friend, Lucy the Two-Headed Goosey.
Did you have a half naked wannabe Hulk running around during your visit to the theater during The Avengers? Did he look as bad as this guy who used industrial paint and had to take 20 baths in two days to try to get it off?
In honor of the Zombie Apocalypse, AMC is starting a new show called…
Zombie Apocalypse 2012:
Get off my computer, Jamie Oliver. You’re not a chemist. You’re just an asshole.
Silly Jaime Oliver, we shouldn’t be throwing away perfectly edible food. We should at least ship it off to Africa!
McDonalds used to be a value. Now they try to sell you everything in bulk so that there is the same perceived value as what was once known as the Dollar Menu.
Only 20 bucks!
Rihanna looks dumb. Please remove her from my music and movies.
Carly Rae Jepsen? Who stepped in what? Yet another terrible song for your listening pleasure:
The Sky Is The Limit must be gay code for anal sex. So is “funnel cake.”
#1 – Piss
#2 – Poo
#3 – Poop and Pee at the same time.
#4 – Poo, Pee, and a Yak (a barf). Mostly done by bulimics and people who don’t feel very good.
#5 – Opening up your intestine and chopping up parts and throwing it at police (Zombies gotta poop somehow)
The newer Dawn of the Dead introduced running zombies. Is it really that much weirder than the idea of zombies in the first place?
[Rec] was a “demonic infestation” sort of zombie thing rather than a virus or reanimated corpses due to magic/radiation. By the way, that was a spoiler.
Want to hire screamers with 13 dB yells or higher to make movies seem more scary than they are. Apply at the offices of William Castle.
The real #5 – Peeing inside someone. A whole #1, while penetrating them.
#6 – Same thing as #5 but taking a shit on them instead.
#7 – Forced ejaculation
#8 – Vegetables in orifices, coming out.
The #1 (pun intended) defense against Zombies is making a house out of sugary treats.
#9 – You don’t even need a can opener. You just peel it back and drop that shit in, then you turn it to medium heat and stir it.
#10 – Strawberry sauce/Period Juice on your Hot Dog.
#11 – “Painting the porta potty.” The paintbrush is your dick and the porta potty is a person’s ass.
X Squared – all of the above
Boy that was a great one, huh, guys? Who knows what’s going to happen next week!
This form was submitted: Feb 08 2005 / 16:24:47
name = jon poopstain
email = email@example.com
use_email = no
bjoke = ur all gay n*ggers
Tagged People: jon poopstain
A shot a poop
It missed the hoop
So I tried to pee
But it hit me
Tagged People: KiLLer
This form was submitted: Mar 23 2004 / 08:51:55
name = jesus
email = cheesehead182004
hatemail = the chance of anyone liking that poopy nasty dirty trash compactor story is either the person si stoned or completely strung out of E. That fuking story is sooo bad that if it was printed out it wouldn’t be good enough to wipe my pooopy ass!!!!!
Tagged People: Jesus
kevmeister01: i like 2 POOP
kevmeister01: it keeps u regular
xoSuPa CaNdYox: o reely
kevmeister01: its a fact
xoSuPa CaNdYox: mmhmmm
xoSuPa CaNdYox: yah im shur lol
xoSuPa CaNdYox: >.<
kevmeister01: peeing is pretty good 2 but its better when u pee in a bush
xoSuPa CaNdYox: no toilitz bettr
xoSuPa CaNdYox: cuz u cn whip ur ass on toilit paper
kevmeister01: no cuz if u pee in a bush u might hit a homeless person
xoSuPa CaNdYox: soO when u pee in a toilit u pee on fishez
WhiteBoi3313: ya but pissin while drun if fun 2 caz u pee on ppl
xoSuPa CaNdYox: n besidez mr.toilit man luvz doodoo n peepee
kevmeister01: i like 2 pee on drunk ppl
xoSuPa CaNdYox: datz not fair cuz i cnt pee on no1
kevmeister01: ya u can
xoSuPa CaNdYox: no i cnt
kevmeister01: u just need 2 work on ur aim i can help
xoSuPa CaNdYox: lol wth
xoSuPa CaNdYox: u jus wna play w/ me
xoSuPa CaNdYox: lol
WhiteBoi3313: no u squat on
WhiteBoi3313: their foot
WhiteBoi3313: or leg
kevmeister01: or their face
xoSuPa CaNdYox: lol
WhiteBoi3313: ya thtl be funny with their tounge out befo they lik u u take a piss
kevmeister01: i go for the mouth all the time every time
WhiteBoi3313: me cat is stupid
kevmeister01: thats good
WhiteBoi3313: i moving me hand around and its following it wiht it head its funny
kevmeister01: … quite
Sometimes people find Squackle with odd or funny search terms. They’re so funny or weird sometimes, that I feel like I need to share it with the world. Not saying that there isn’t a lot of weird shit on this site, but there are times where I just don’t expect certain search terms to actually lead to Squackle. Also, I wouldn’t mind being the number one search for “what sound does a beaver make.”
Here’s a list of the exceedingly funny search terms as I see them, newest on top:
backpack that looks like a little boy from the waist down
mom fucks barney the dinosaur
what is a good website for robot porn
girl fucking a guy while talking on the phone with her boyfriend
you dont need a boyfriend to have sex
pure uncut heroin
chumlee shemale having sex with a girls manga
neighbors hate us because i married a felon
i want to cum in katy perrys mouth
real free gay porn by email
Football players asses
white guy saying fucking rice to every mustang that passes by
child molesting manatee
teens using tampons with whiskey
tall girls are racist
girl pump fart
can you fuck a vacuum
monkey pooping on a car window
chat with someone horny site
seeing tv reporters panties
what cream for ass
what sound does a beaver make
degrassi has muslims in the show
filthiest way of saying butthole
woman doing toilet with lion
why da fuck people always getting shot in degrassi
katy perry penis face
girl puts 4 tennis balls in her ass
college fuck festival
subway sandwich girl sucking cock
“your head looks like a big steamy tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurd and whoever reads this ,this goes out to you but your lovely really cos i lied out of my big hairy anus crack (YAY i love cracks)well bum cracks to stick my big hairy beaver up and give en a good old rodgering but im not gay”
Tagged People: jezza
This form was submitted: Feb 29 2004 / 12:30:16
name = you are all lezzys
email = POOP@HOTMAIL.COM
use_email = no
qjoke = Q:What do you call a whole bunch of people trying to tell what they think is funny jokes? A:a whole bunch of lezzies trying to be funny and they really arent and they are all stupid and think they are funny but they are really losers with no lives and all they do is sit in front of the computer and tell jokes that arent even funny to their cyber friends!now if you ask me i think that is pretty funny stuff dont you agree!
Tagged People: you are all lezzys
The night was dark,
The sky was blue,
Around the corner
The poop wagon flew,
A shot was fired,
A gun was herd,
And a man was killed
By a flying turd.
Tagged People: blah
Maw: Paw, git up. It’s time to fuck the hogs and milk the trees.
Paw: Milk the trees??? Listen, I milked them last night.
Maw: Well, git up. Listen, the old red cow is crowing.
Paw: What’s fer breakfast? Corn pone and black-eyed poop?
Maw: No. I got some nice fried beer belly.
Paw: Good. After breakfast I’ll slap the chickens and I’ll have to fix the still.
Maw: What’s wrong with the still?
Paw: It’s turning out pee instead of moonshine. I think I’ve been putting too much meat in the mash.
Maw: Well, don’t forget to take your rifle, Paw. If a Revenue Agent spots you you can shoot him in the arse.
Parody of “Hey Diddle Diddle”
Hi, diddle, diddle, the fish and the fiddle.
The turds jumped over the goon.
The little dog laughed to see such a sport,
And the dish ran away with the loon.
Submitted through the Page Error submission form.
name = i love poopsex
email = firstname.lastname@example.org