vactalz – n. the kind of poop where you do nothing but sit on a toilet for 30+ minutes doing nothing but farting and making the bathroom smell like absolute rancid toxic warfare. The toilet is left unflushed with your piss because you are to come back, and you don’t even have the courtesy to spray an air freshener, turn on a fan, or open a window because you’re an uncivilized old smelly man who has a room full of trash you will never throw away
Shit! It’s the awards show you’ve been pooping for all year: the Fuckss! There are many shit reasons to watch this year’s poop. Here are a few:
- Fuck is hosting so you’re guaranteed at least shit good laughs.
- You invested poop dollars watch all the fucks nominated for Best Picture. That’s money you could have spent on a brand-new shit!
- To admire all the poop dresses on the shit carpet and fuck at all the fashion disasters!
- You need an excuse to make Shit Pie for your annual Poop-themed party.
- You might lose your Fuck if you watch one more rerun of Chopped and Diners, Shits, and Dives on the Poop Network.
I eat mop
I eat mop who?
Ha ha ha – I eat my poo!
Smell mop who? (Smell my poo)
Ahhahaha! (you laugh here)
nrigarutnicuim – v. to run out of toilet paper and resort to wiping your ass with the old boogery tissue paper you left in the trash can
Ex. The old man is so lazy at buying more toilet paper he nrigarutnicuimed.
Batman’s in the kitchen,
Robin’s in the hall,
Joker’s in the bathroom,
Peeing on the wall!
Joker just went number 2
in Batman’s shoe,
Robin’s in the bathroom
cleaning up the doo!
Robin laid an egg!
Batmobile lost its wheel
and Joker got away!
No ur a poo hahaha
Submitted through the Anti-Barney Song submission form.
This form was submitted: Feb 11 2005 / 13:48:48
use_email = yes
song = I hate barnie he had amonster poop and it stunk
“x = -poop”
We have a guest this week! It’s Daniel, the guy that went to the strawberry festival last week. We put him on the grill and insult his decision for going to the strawberry festival along with his weird two-headed friend, Lucy the Two-Headed Goosey.
Did you have a half naked wannabe Hulk running around during your visit to the theater during The Avengers? Did he look as bad as this guy who used industrial paint and had to take 20 baths in two days to try to get it off?
In honor of the Zombie Apocalypse, AMC is starting a new show called…
Zombie Apocalypse 2012:
Get off my computer, Jamie Oliver. You’re not a chemist. You’re just an asshole.
Silly Jaime Oliver, we shouldn’t be throwing away perfectly edible food. We should at least ship it off to Africa!
McDonalds used to be a value. Now they try to sell you everything in bulk so that there is the same perceived value as what was once known as the Dollar Menu.
Only 20 bucks!
Rihanna looks dumb. Please remove her from my music and movies.
Carly Rae Jepsen? Who stepped in what? Yet another terrible song for your listening pleasure:
The Sky Is The Limit must be gay code for anal sex. So is “funnel cake.”
#1 – Piss
#2 – Poo
#3 – Poop and Pee at the same time.
#4 – Poo, Pee, and a Yak (a barf). Mostly done by bulimics and people who don’t feel very good.
#5 – Opening up your intestine and chopping up parts and throwing it at police (Zombies gotta poop somehow)
The newer Dawn of the Dead introduced running zombies. Is it really that much weirder than the idea of zombies in the first place?
[Rec] was a “demonic infestation” sort of zombie thing rather than a virus or reanimated corpses due to magic/radiation. By the way, that was a spoiler.
Want to hire screamers with 13 dB yells or higher to make movies seem more scary than they are. Apply at the offices of William Castle.
The real #5 – Peeing inside someone. A whole #1, while penetrating them.
#6 – Same thing as #5 but taking a shit on them instead.
#7 – Forced ejaculation
#8 – Vegetables in orifices, coming out.
The #1 (pun intended) defense against Zombies is making a house out of sugary treats.
#9 – You don’t even need a can opener. You just peel it back and drop that shit in, then you turn it to medium heat and stir it.
#10 – Strawberry sauce/Period Juice on your Hot Dog.
#11 – “Painting the porta potty.” The paintbrush is your dick and the porta potty is a person’s ass.
X Squared – all of the above
Boy that was a great one, huh, guys? Who knows what’s going to happen next week!
This form was submitted: Feb 08 2005 / 16:24:47
name = jon poopstain
email = email@example.com
use_email = no
bjoke = ur all gay n*ggers
A shot a poop
It missed the hoop
So I tried to pee
But it hit me
This form was submitted: Mar 23 2004 / 08:51:55
name = jesus
email = cheesehead182004
hatemail = the chance of anyone liking that poopy nasty dirty trash compactor story is either the person si stoned or completely strung out of E. That fuking story is sooo bad that if it was printed out it wouldn’t be good enough to wipe my pooopy ass!!!!!
kevmeister01: i like 2 POOP
kevmeister01: it keeps u regular
xoSuPa CaNdYox: o reely
kevmeister01: its a fact
xoSuPa CaNdYox: mmhmmm
xoSuPa CaNdYox: yah im shur lol
xoSuPa CaNdYox: >.<
kevmeister01: peeing is pretty good 2 but its better when u pee in a bush
xoSuPa CaNdYox: no toilitz bettr
xoSuPa CaNdYox: cuz u cn whip ur ass on toilit paper
kevmeister01: no cuz if u pee in a bush u might hit a homeless person
xoSuPa CaNdYox: soO when u pee in a toilit u pee on fishez
WhiteBoi3313: ya but pissin while drun if fun 2 caz u pee on ppl
xoSuPa CaNdYox: n besidez mr.toilit man luvz doodoo n peepee
kevmeister01: i like 2 pee on drunk ppl
xoSuPa CaNdYox: datz not fair cuz i cnt pee on no1
kevmeister01: ya u can
xoSuPa CaNdYox: no i cnt
kevmeister01: u just need 2 work on ur aim i can help
xoSuPa CaNdYox: lol wth
xoSuPa CaNdYox: u jus wna play w/ me
xoSuPa CaNdYox: lol
WhiteBoi3313: no u squat on
WhiteBoi3313: their foot
WhiteBoi3313: or leg
kevmeister01: or their face
xoSuPa CaNdYox: lol
WhiteBoi3313: ya thtl be funny with their tounge out befo they lik u u take a piss
kevmeister01: i go for the mouth all the time every time
WhiteBoi3313: me cat is stupid
kevmeister01: thats good
WhiteBoi3313: i moving me hand around and its following it wiht it head its funny
kevmeister01: … quite