Jingle Bells Song #24440

Batman’s in the kitchen,
Robin’s in the hall,
Joker’s in the bathroom,
Peeing on the wall!

Joker just went number 2
in Batman’s shoe,
Robin’s in the bathroom
cleaning up the doo!

Jingle Bells,
Batman smells,
Robin laid an egg!
Batmobile lost its wheel
and Joker got away!

 

Squacklecast Episode 8 – “Wait Till We Do a Number 9”

This entry is part 8 of 30 in the series The Squacklecast

We have a guest this week!  It’s Daniel, the guy that went to the strawberry festival last week.  We put him on the grill and insult his decision for going to the strawberry festival along with his weird two-headed friend, Lucy the Two-Headed Goosey.

Did you have a half naked wannabe Hulk running around during your visit to the theater during The Avengers?  Did he look as bad as this guy who used industrial paint and had to take 20 baths in two days to try to get it off?

Wannabehulk

http://www.strawberryfestival.org/

What have we become? A never ending http://www.strawberryfestival.org/ ad for the http://www.strawberryfestival.org/ Strawberry Festival? http://www.strawberryfestival.org/

In honor of the Zombie Apocalypse, AMC is starting a new show called…

AMC Bath Salts

Zombie Apocalypse 2012:

Guy eating someone’s face off in Florida.

Guy eating his roommates brain in Maryland.

Get off my computer, Jamie Oliver.  You’re not a chemist.  You’re just an asshole.

Silly Jaime Oliver, we shouldn’t be throwing away perfectly edible food.  We should at least ship it off to Africa!

McDonalds used to be a value.  Now they try to sell you everything in bulk so that there is the same perceived value as what was once known as the Dollar Menu.

100 McNuggets

Only 20 bucks!

That new Coldplay song is pretty bad.  It doesn’t even sound like a Coldplay song.

Rihanna looks dumb.  Please remove her from my music and movies.

Rihanna Looks Dumb

Carly Rae Jepsen?  Who stepped in what?  Yet another terrible song for your listening pleasure:

The Sky Is The Limit must be gay code for anal sex.  So is “funnel cake.”

#1 – Piss

#2 – Poo

#3 – Poop and Pee at the same time.

#4 – Poo, Pee, and a Yak (a barf).  Mostly done by bulimics and people who don’t feel very good.

#5 – Opening up your intestine and chopping up parts and throwing it at police (Zombies gotta poop somehow)

The newer Dawn of the Dead introduced running zombies.  Is it really that much weirder than the idea of zombies in the first place?

[Rec] was a “demonic infestation” sort of zombie thing rather than a virus or reanimated corpses due to magic/radiation.   By the way, that was a spoiler.

Want to hire screamers with 13 dB yells or higher to make movies seem more scary than they are.  Apply at the offices of William Castle.

Screamer

Facebook and Mark Zuckerburg jokes are so funny.

The real #5 – Peeing inside someone.  A whole #1, while penetrating them.

#6 – Same thing as #5 but taking a shit on them instead.

#7 – Forced ejaculation

#8 – Vegetables in orifices, coming out.

The #1 (pun intended) defense against Zombies is making a house out of sugary treats.

GingerBread House

#9 – You don’t even need a can opener.  You just peel it back and drop that shit in, then you turn it to medium heat and stir it.

#10 – Strawberry sauce/Period Juice on your Hot Dog.

#11 – “Painting the porta potty.”  The paintbrush is your dick and the porta potty is a person’s ass.

X Squared – all of the above

Boy that was a great one, huh, guys?  Who knows what’s going to happen next week!

 

Hate Mail #21938

This form was submitted:  Mar 23 2004 / 08:51:55

name = jesus
email = cheesehead182004
hatemail = the chance of anyone liking that poopy nasty dirty trash compactor story is either the person si stoned or completely strung out of E. That fuking story is sooo bad that if it was printed out it wouldn’t be good enough to wipe my pooopy ass!!!!!

 

Chat #21824

kevmeister01: i like 2 POOP

kevmeister01: it keeps u regular

xoSuPa CaNdYox: o reely

kevmeister01: yes

kevmeister01: its a fact

xoSuPa CaNdYox: mmhmmm

WhiteBoi3313: =p

kevmeister01: yes

kevmeister01: quite

kevmeister01: indeed

WhiteBoi3313: lol

xoSuPa CaNdYox: yah im shur lol

xoSuPa CaNdYox: >.<

kevmeister01: peeing is pretty good 2 but its better when u pee in a bush

xoSuPa CaNdYox: no toilitz bettr

xoSuPa CaNdYox: cuz u cn whip ur ass on toilit paper

WhiteBoi3313: lol

kevmeister01: no cuz if u pee in a bush u might hit a homeless person

xoSuPa CaNdYox: soO when u pee in a toilit u pee on fishez

WhiteBoi3313: ya but pissin while drun if fun 2 caz u pee on ppl

kevmeister01: ya

xoSuPa CaNdYox: n besidez mr.toilit man luvz doodoo n peepee

kevmeister01: i like 2 pee on drunk ppl

xoSuPa CaNdYox: datz not fair cuz i cnt pee on no1

WhiteBoi3313: lol

WhiteBoi3313: brb

kevmeister01: ya u can

xoSuPa CaNdYox: no i cnt

kevmeister01: u just need 2 work on ur aim i can help

xoSuPa CaNdYox: lol wth

WhiteBoi3313: lol

xoSuPa CaNdYox: u jus wna play w/ me

xoSuPa CaNdYox: lol

WhiteBoi3313: no u squat on

WhiteBoi3313: their foot

kevmeister01: ya

WhiteBoi3313: =p

WhiteBoi3313: or leg

kevmeister01: or their face

xoSuPa CaNdYox: lol

WhiteBoi3313: ya thtl be funny with their tounge out befo they lik u u take a piss

kevmeister01: i go for the mouth all the time every time

WhiteBoi3313: lol

WhiteBoi3313: me cat is stupid

kevmeister01: thats good

WhiteBoi3313: i moving me hand around and its following it wiht it head its funny

kevmeister01: … quite

kevmeister01: indeed

WhiteBoi3313: lol

kevmeister01: yes

 

Funny Search Terms

Sometimes people find Squackle with odd or funny search terms.  They’re so funny or weird sometimes, that I feel like I need to share it with the world.  Not saying that there isn’t a lot of weird shit on this site, but there are times where I just don’t expect certain search terms to actually lead to Squackle.  Also, I wouldn’t mind being the number one search for “what sound does a beaver make.”

Here’s a list of the exceedingly funny search terms as I see them, newest on top:

grandma is raped with toothbrush

i want to be a cashier and i dont have experience so can google teach me some lessons

sexy ladies sex fuck hard

what is a good porn name for a girl named ann catherine

why the f*ck are asian women so attractive

fireworks of cum and semen

sexy little girl feet on balls

i want to download a beautiful and sexy lady age under 26 that has a lot of photos on facebook

thumbelina hentai

sexxxxy sendals zapanis young cute girl feets

how to draw dick using alphabets

sign me up by email for nasty gay black porn

knock knock jokes about livers

most fucking sexiest ever women wallpaper

pictures huge female holes and the long trailing tities

fat bitches having a motherfucking orgy

gay man sit on mens face and fartshit

does katy perry let guys cum inside her

sexy girl doing fuck in youtube

cute hot fat woman boob

asian girl full hd cute witn attitude

attaching condom of sexy chinese babes

blowjob games earn coins to cum

dave’s review rating on penius enhancers

backpack that looks like a little boy from the waist down

mom fucks barney the dinosaur

what is a good website for robot porn

girl fucking a guy while talking on the phone with her boyfriend

you dont need a boyfriend to have sex

pure uncut heroin

chumlee shemale having sex with a girls manga

neighbors hate us because i married a felon

i want to cum in katy perrys mouth

molested pinball

real free gay porn by email

Football players asses

white guy saying fucking rice to every mustang that passes by

child molesting manatee

teens using tampons with whiskey

tall girls are racist

girl pump fart

can you fuck a vacuum

masturbate bicycle

monkey pooping on a car window

chat with someone horny site

seeing tv reporters panties

what cream for ass

what sound does a beaver make

degrassi has muslims in the show

ass-hole kingdom

filthiest way of saying butthole

woman doing toilet with lion

why da fuck people always getting shot in degrassi

katy perry penis face

girl puts 4 tennis balls in her ass

college fuck festival

subway sandwich girl sucking cock

 

Hate Mail #21307

This form was submitted:  Feb 29 2004 / 12:30:16

name = you are all lezzys
email = POOP@HOTMAIL.COM
use_email = no
qjoke = Q:What do you call a whole bunch of people trying to tell what they think is funny jokes? A:a whole bunch of lezzies trying to be funny and they really arent and they are all stupid and think they are funny but they are really losers with no lives and all they do is sit in front of the computer and tell jokes that arent even funny to their cyber friends!now if you ask me i think that is pretty funny stuff dont you agree!