Dream #25786

I had a dream about a party at my parent’s house with tons of random “family” members, even dead ones.

Melissa Joan Hart was there and she knew me and waved.  A pair of twin brothers named Eddie and Edik I hadn’t met before were also there.

There was some sort of evaluation sheet that allowed me to jump back and forth to see their degradation in smartness or something and if they changed over time, it would give a status about them.

In the family room, I wanted wine but my mom would keep pouring watered-down sparkling water and then pour some wine afterwards, despite not wanting that.  I finally took the wine myself and then left to go to another room.

In the other room was a room full of young hipster-type people.  I was done with my “family” and decided to go into the next room with those people.  They were all huddled around the couch playing some board game, and there was about 15 to 20 of them and not all of them were playing.  They all looked at me but didn’t know who I was.  I said “Hi, my name is Dave and I’m an alcoholic” as a joke, but they thought I was serious and asked if I was an alcoholic.

I remember something about “The Mayor” (not a real person) showing up at the party and then all of a sudden there were gun shots or something like that, someone was trying to kill him or me, I don’t know.  I woke up at that point.

 

WoW Chat #24869: Decota -> davepoobond

I’m in a dungeon with this guy; I’m the healer.  He kept dying a lot.  Eventually I get a trinket at the end of the run…

Decota: game just dosent get i need purple shit

davepoobond: weed?

Decota: nah got that

Decota: trad ya

Decota: for the trink

davepoobond: trade what

Decota:   [Obelisk of the Void]

davepoobond: for a ring i dont need?

davepoobond: nty

Decota: ok buddy

Decota: you shuld learn to heal better

davepoobond: maybe dont afk

Decota: lol

Decota: dam 2.5mil crit

Decota: god dam it get your thumb out of your ass

davepoobond: you should learn to live better, mage

Decota: lol

Decota: fuck you

Decota: learn to heal

davepoobond: my trink is not yours

davepoobond: you are not entitled to it

Decota: you need that and more

davepoobond: get your head out of your ass

Decota: lol

Decota: let the tank die

Decota: with 4mil lol

davepoobond: you let your mom die

Decota: see ya dum as

 

“You’re So Fat” Insults

These can also double as “your mom is so fat” or “your momma is so fat” etc…

You’re so fat…

…when I tried to swerve out of the way, I ran out of gas.

…your belly button gets home 15 minutes before you do.

…when you jumped into the ocean the whales started singing “We are Family.”

…when you did the Nae Nae you hit the sun then people thought it was the end.

…you could sell shade.

…Goodyear wanted to fly you over the Super Bowl.

…when you fell in love you broke it.

…when you have to haul ass you have to take two trips.

…when you were diagnosed with a flesh-eating disease, the doctor gave you 10 years to live.

…you can’t fit in this joke.

…the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC.

…when you sit around the house you sit AROUND the house.

…the post office gave you your own zip code.

…when you sit around the house, you sit AROUND the house.

…when you sat on an iPhone it turned into an iPad

 

Fuk yo bitch Ass mom

Written for the movie Grandpa’s Town Pleasing Sweets.

1st off fuk ur bitch n yo fat ass mom

i fn’ed fuken her but caz of her lose pussy i couldn’t cum

yea i no dats wrong

but tryin to battle against me

you won’t last long

like the weed in ma glass bong

they call me long shlong

 

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