Joke #24691

A blonde gets a ice fishing pole for Christmas, so she goes out to try it.  She drills the hole and puts the line in and waits.

Someone says that there’s no fish there. So she moves and does the same thing, with the same answer, after many tries the blonde finally looks around and finds a man looking very frustrated watching her.

She asks “How do you know that there are no fish here?”

“Because,” the man says, “this is a Hockey rink and second you’re going to have to pay for those holes.”

 

10 Characteristics of the Company Car

– Accelerates at a phenomenal rate.

– Has a much shorter braking distance than the private car.

– Can take speed humps at twice the speed of private cars.

– The battery, radiator water, oil and tires never have to be checked.

– It can be driven up to 60 miles with the oil warning light flashing.

– It needs cleaning less often than private cars.

– The suspension is reinforced to allow for the weekend loads of bricks, concrete slabs and other building material.

– Unusual and alarming engine noises are easily eliminated by turning up the radio.

– It needs no security system and may be left anywhere, unlocked and with the keys in the ignition.

– It is especially sand and waterproof for barbecues and fishing expeditions on remote beaches.

 

Joke #18513

To help untangle my fishing gear, I asked my wife and her sister to walk the fishing line across our front yard and hold it taut while I reeled it back in.

A man strolling by saw the two good-looking women and did a double take. “I don’t know what you’re using for bait,” he said to me, “but I’ll take a dozen.”