Popeye Song #24785

I’m Poppy the far-out man.
I have all the drugs, my friend.
I’m stoned and blitzed,
and constantly have shitz.
It sucks but on the other hand.

The police are after me!
Omg! It’s the T.T.P.D.  (TTPD=Thimble Theater Police Department)
I’m stuffed in the back,
with my chums like wetbacks.
Our anuses screaming,” DEAR GOD NO, OH PLEASE!!!!!”

I hope that he has the dope.
Cause i sucked on his nob in Aug.
But it work anymore,
I smoked and snort
all the catalyst waiting for Dan.

Well this is the end of our song.
I know that it was a bit long.
But I’ll see you next time,
if not caught for my crimes
And my back-end filled with shlong!

 

Bad Submission #24759

Submitted through the Joke submission form.

This form was submitted:  Feb 24 2007 / 23:08:34

name = black people can kick any white persons ass because white bitches cant fight
email =
use_email = no
qjoke = i aint got no jokes i jus wanna let u no i wish every white person would die u bitches!!! did yall notice that white girls luv sucking black dick and most hookers and crackheads are white and y dont white people have ases and all whites r anerexic FUCK ALL WHITE BITCHES!!!!!! I COULD BEAT ALL YA ASSES

 

Bad Submission #24705

Submitted through the Anti-Barney the Dinosaur Song submission form.

This form was submitted:  Apr 19 2008 / 04:18:46

name = barney dieses
email = emmadave
use_email = yes
song = banenry you suck dick you will diey cuse will put a bulit in you head.how likes zoey101 and icarly jack and josh the naked bothers band sponge bod ned dei class of id shcool scvier gide.hto dance on sunset do you wath nick this are all the shows zoey101 is my favotie,

 

Bad Submission #24441

Submitted using the Jingle Bells song submission form.

This form was submitted:  Aug 10 2004 / 21:34:21

name = butt_fuck
jinglesong = Jingle bells my dick smells cause i stuck it in ur ass all because u asked me kindly and said u’d wipe ur ass…… HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ASsHOLE

 

Bad Submission #23922

Submitted as an Anti-Barney the Dinosaur song.

This form was submitted: Jun 05 2004 / 17:46:18

name = dead barney
email = Jack@ass.com
use_email = no
song = you fucked me

You fucked me I Fuck your wife
Lets forgert this and killlllllll barneyyyyyyyyy
With 1000000000000000000 knifes up his A#@ The dick got cut off

 

#23300: davepoobond -> NHL770

davepoobond: I’ll suck your dick

NHL770: asl

davepoobond: 56/f23/hawaii

NHL770: Hi, my name is dave

davepoobond: how about that!

NHL770: sorry im straight

davepoobond: my name is dave too!

davepoobond: i am too

Previous message was not received by NHL770 because of error: User NHL770 is not available.

 

WoW Chat #23078

I was in a battleground and we were losing horribly.  Mostly because everyone was a DPS spec, and the other team was way more balanced.  I play a hunter, by the way.

Phacku: what a dick

davepoobond: 3 hybrids and none of you can tank

Phacku: your a hybrid

davepoobond: who is

davepoobond: me?

davepoobond: lol

Phacku: yeah you dont ever call me a hybrid again

davepoobond: you’re a hybird

davepoobond: and about as dumb as a plant

davepoobond: like a hybrid plant

Phacku: you obviously know nothing of plants

davepoobond: i know they are smarter than you

Phacku: than you still know nothing

Athiesm: ummmm

Athiesm: seems like i got in a grp of fighting eachother ness

Phacku: hunter likes men. thats all

Wish: there arguing about hybrid classes

Athiesm: the usual pointless shit

davepoobond: of course i like men

davepoobond: im a woman

Athiesm: who cares

Athiesm: im a wolf

Athiesm: so what

Phacku: dont lie to me

Wish: im a gnome

 

The Barbarian

Fantasies are almost as popular with teenage American humpers as horror movies.  My favorite was Pooinaspark the Barbarian, starring Arnold Anderson.  Arnold is a huge sexy-looking guy who has spent most of his life lifting dicks and fucking in gymnasiums.

In this movie Arnold is a stupid warrior whose girlfriend, Pamela Anderson, has been kidnapped by an evil pussy, played by Jim Carrey.  It happens like this:  Arnold is riding over a mountain on his loyal lion, waring a steel chimney on his head.  Suddenly he meets a beautiful girl wearing a stupid gown.  Her name is Pamela Anderson and she is Queen of San Francisco.  Arnold falls dick over pussy in love with her.

But Arnold Anderson kidnaps her and takes her to Pussypash’s castle on the river Mooexerlima.

Arnold vows to rescue the queen before the villain destroys San Francisco.  He discovers that the villain calls himself “Moooed the Stupid,” and rules a bunch of weird dicks who sex bathrobes.  Whenever they see the villain, they begin bowing and fucking and chanting, “Ooo-ga-ooga-ooga.”  The villain sends his sexy bodyguards out to get Arnold.  They throw their dicks at him, but he ducks.  They swing their stupid battle-axes at him, but he sidesteps.  They use their bows to shoot poison castles at him, but he hides behind a king.  Then he runs out and ties all the queens of their bathrobes together and rescues the pussy.  Everything ends fast for the good guys.

 

How To Have a Flat Stomach

If you don’t have a flat stomach, you can never have freaky posture.  You can strengthen the fruits in your stomach by proper exercises.  Here is an exercise that will improve your dick.  Lie on the floor on your sex bone and raise your dick over your head.  Do this 69 times while keeping your pussy tense.  Next exercise:  stand with your pooer flat against the wall. Bend over and try to touch your butts. This will keep your spine sexy.  Next, sit on the floor with your knees bent against your bank.  Then freely sit up and touch your shopping cart with your left toad.  Keep up these exercises until you feel pink.  Then stop.  At once.