Joke #21177

A nurse walks into a bank.

Preparing to endorse a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her pocket and tries to write with it.

She looks up at the teller, pauses for a moment, then realizing her mistake, she says,

“Well, that’s great. Just great. Some asshole’s got my pen.”

 

Joke #18726

The bureau of prisons just announced the release of a serial bank robber who had looted over 30 banks before his capture.

The parole board says he is completely rehabilitated and has found employment at his home in Prague.

Yes, that is correct. They were able to right a bad czech.

 

Joke #18710

A young college girl came running in tears to her father. “Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!” she cried.

“I did? What did I tell you?” said the dad.

“You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble.”

“What are you talking about? That’s one of the largest banks in the world,” he said. “Surely there must be some mistake.”

“I don’t think so,” she sniffed. “They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, ‘Insufficient Funds’.”

 

Joke #18398

I’d been working on my business degree for about a year when I finally got to take a popular finance course. I went to the bookstore to buy the text and was shocked to find out that it would cost me $96. I asked how much it was worth if I sold it back at the end of the semester.

“You’ll get $24,” said the clerk.

“This is insane,” I protested as I wrote out the check.

“I know,” replied the clerk sympathetically. “I’ve always thought that a person who buys a book for $96 and then sells it back for $24 should fail the course.”

 

Joke #13204

DOCTOR: “Mister Simms, I’m afraid you only have seven days to live.”

PATIENT: “Oh, no!  Then I guess I won’t be able to pay you, Doctor.  My medical insurance check won’t be here for two weeks.”

DOCTOR: “H-mm, well in that case, I’ll give you fourteen days to live.”