Hate Mail #24562

From: Joel D.

Date: 01/05/07

Subject: Ur website!!!

Message:

Hey mate i dont no wat the fuck is with ur jokes but their shit. their not even racist ya dumb shit. ur a messed up mother fucker to be cracking jokes about babies like the ones on your site. and just for the record ur a faggot for even thinking to put that shit up.

 

177

Find out who’s DNA it is.

Advantages would be that we would know who that person would be if you got their DNA, and bad would be that the babies lose blood.  A different organism becomes one by plasmids good, so I can live yay, we discovered a miracle cure for every disease in the world so they can get the actual thing without changing anything we are still alike in the sense we have DNA they do it so people can live.

 

Lovely Text Message #22444: Dee -> davepoobond

I got a text message from some random number. So, as I usually like to have fun with these kinds of things, the following ensues:

Dee: Marcel? It’s dee

davepoobond: Hey baby what’s up how you doin

Dee: Hi lol I’ve been pretty good actually. Wbu?

davepoobond: O u kno jus chillin

davepoobond: N e plns 4 tonite

2 hours later

davepoobond: Yo you there?

5 hours later, at 1:57 AM she texts me again. (I was sleeping. Who the fuck texts back at 2 AM in the morning?)

Dee: My bad, my phone died. I was helping my cousin move

I wait until about 5:30 the next day and send her…

davepoobond: Hey what up dee what you up to

Dee: Whos this

davepoobond: What are you talkin bout

Dee: Who’s this*

davepoobond: Who is what

davepoobond: This is marcel

Dee: Which one? Lol what’s your last name

davepoobond: Why u askin how many marcels u kno?

davepoobond: Wait who is this

Dee: I know a few, and it’s dee. So which is it?

davepoobond: Jones

davepoobond: Which dee is this

davepoobond: U there?

Dammit! My like-a-black-guy texting didn’t convince her or something happened that tipped her off that she was texting the wrong person.

 

Anti-Barney the Dinosaur Song #22119

Barney is a dinosaur who just died yesterday.

We stuffed his body in a card board box and sent it.

Who did we send it to?

We sent it to baby bop.

Baby Bop threw up and now we’ll have to clean it up!

Barney is perished so we threw a party!