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Quote #22776

January 22nd, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“I’m half chinese and half white. So if you want to go out with me, a chinese girl, you gotta go out and eat dim sum with me. haha jk :P I love dim sum though.”

– from a girl’s dating profile

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Quote #22775

January 21st, 2013 Posted in Quotes | 1 Comment »

“I’m a hard rocking nerd that has plans to make it big, and is not going to let anything stand in my way.”

– from a girl’s dating profile

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Quote #22774

January 21st, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“now what im looking for in a guy or my mr right :

A guy that will actually put in effort to know me and wanna get to know me and be interested in me someone who is ready to meet someone and is at a point in there life where they want to settle down and have something serious

Also a guy who will make time and put in effort to get to know me

A guy who was raised right and knows how to treat a women right

i like a guy who has a nice body and likes to work out and takes care of himself

someone who would have no problem being there for me being my rock and protecting me

i want a guy who will really be there for me thru thick and thin !!

a guy who doesn’t smoke sorry but i dont want a guy with a nasty habit and this means any kind of smokiing ,

a guy who has a car really come on if u dont sorry but i like guys that actually have themselves together u know

a guy that has a sweet side to them , fun guy someone who likes to text and cuddle

I want a guy who will actually listen to me when i talk

a guy Who will dry my tears for me and be there and hug me

a guy who will stand up for me and protect me

and a guy who will love me and only me i want to be the only one not one of them

Also a guy who would love to see me and hang out someone who actually wants to get to know me

THE NUMBER ONE THING I LOVE IS FOR A GUY TO BE ROMANTIC AND SURPRISE ME Lol

if u actually read it and think this is you then dont be shy and hesitate thank u bye”

– from a girl’s dating profile

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Quote #22773

January 20th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“There’s more to me than meets the eye. I’ve got a mouth like a sailor”

– from a girl’s dating profile

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Quote #22772

January 20th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“I hate movies, and I hate music. I also hate fun and food. Let’s see, I also hate all people and animals alike. I hate booze and partying. Blah, I hate water! Who needs that junk anyways? I hate cars and bicycles. I tend to also hate people that are fun loving. I hate being healthy. That right there makes me sick to my stomach!”

– from a girl’s dating profile

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Tiny Tower (iOS) Review

January 19th, 2013 Posted in Game Reviews, Games | No Comments »

Developer/Publisher: NimbleBit LLC || Overall: 6.0/10

Hardware Used: iPhone 5 with iOS 6

Tiny Tower is one of those games that takes a relatively simple concept and artificially inflates the time it takes to do anything to make you feel like spending money to get ahead.  But that’s every game nowadays on an iOS or Android platform, and its easy to get riled up about business aspects of any of these “free to play, pay to win” games.  So, what does Tiny Tower offer that you might not occasionally see in other games?  Well, I can’t say that there’s much that I really “enjoy” about the game except for maybe two things: the art style and the humor.  It’s nice to say that in this case, Tiny Tower actually tries to go “against” the curb, looking cartoony or “old” (read: 8-bit) and get away with it.  Truth be told, the art style mixed with the humor therein is more what makes this game enjoyable than anything else.

In Tiny Tower, the basic goal of the game is to add more floors to your tower.  Your tower floors can be residential or a random store within six individual categories.  The people who live in your tower work in your tower.  These little slave people bend to your will and will work and live wherever you tell them to.  And if you don’t like their face or their skills, you can evict them.  Ah, yes, Tiny Tower is also probably making a social commentary on the downturn of the economy with people having “dream jobs” of working in a donut shop or a coffee house, but I digress — that is probably part of the humor of the game and also adds an element of difficulty in trying to match your “Bitizens” (whom live in your tower) to work and be happy.  Oh, and they also pay you rent.  It’s indentured servitude at its finest, and they can wear a sheet to look like a ghost while doing it all.

Tiny Tower is an okay game.  It isn’t exactly the most fun that I’ve ever had with my spangly-dangly iPhone, and I can’t imagine I’d be playing this game for very long because of it.  I think what actually ticks me off about the game more than anything is that there is a lot of micromanaging involved.  Each business on your floor has 3 items it can sell, and each take a certain amount of time to “re-stock.”  Once re-stocked, the game notifies you the item is ready to be stocked, and doesn’t start selling until you go back into the game to click it and then get back out.  I thought I was paying my little slaves to do that for me, why do I have to get notifications every 3 seconds to do something new?  I thought this game was supposed to be leisurely fun, not harassing me to pay attention to it like a GigaPet or Tomagatchi!  Not only do I have to do that, but I have to monitor all of the floors individually by clicking on them and figuring out which items will become out of stock soon.  There isn’t an easy way to just view all of the possible re-stocking actions I can do and decide from there — I have to individually click 6 different floors to see what’s up and if I don’t, I run the risk of losing potential money.  What happens when I get to 30 or 40 floors?  Who do they think they’re kidding with this?

Reeling it back a little bit, there is basically one goal to the game, and that is to add more floors for you to manage.  To accomplish this, the game gives you two currencies.  You know that when there are “two currencies” in a game, one is the one you actually want (Coins), and the other is the one that they want you to buy with real money (Towerbux) so that you can save “time” and actually progress in the game to the point of madness before you have your third coronary.  Towerbux can be used to buy more coins, or pay off some of your Bitizens to do stuff faster.  Great, so why couldn’t I do that with coins?  OH, that’s because Towerbux cost like 3 to 9 cents each (depending on the bulk size) and THEN you can convert them into coins, but you can’t seem to do it the other way around.   Tiny Tower allows for a little leniency in this regard, however, since there are actually ways to earn Towerbux INSIDE the game and as a result the game is balanced around using Towerbux to at least a certain extent.  It makes Towerbux not seem as useless as its cousins in other games, like BlowJobBux, or whatever they’re called in other games, since you actually get to use them.  If a game were giving out free Blow Jobs, would you not partake?

Coins are the real end-game, however, and the more coins you get the more floors you can add to get more coins for the whole process.  Towerbux essentially help you earn more coins at a faster rate, and depending on if your math skills are any good, you have to figure out what the best way to use your Towerbux actually will be.  My general tactic seems to be using it for the “3rd tier” items for whatever has the most stock that can sell (since they sell for 3 coins each, as opposed to the lower tiers which are 1 and 2 respectively).  The amount of stock that an item can maintain depends on who works there, which also relies on your ability to count from 0 to 9 and being able to assign people to the right color based on those numbers.  Sometimes Bitizens will be useless in your situation, so you can evict them and hope for a better idiot to replace the guy who is wearing last year’s purple hat.  Or hope that you’ll get an Asian-looking lady for your Day Spa so that you can start selling Happy Endings.

There isn’t ALWAYS something to do in the game, though.  So, during those times where you’re just trying to wait for more measly minutes of your life to pass you by while you wait for another event to happen in Tiny Tower, you can act like an elevator attendant and work for tips.  Depending on what floor they ask you to take them to, you’ll get twice the amount of coins there.  However, you will occasionally get one Towerbux instead and boy howdy, it’s time to go to the strip bar!  If you know what I mean… it’s on the 69th floor and the 3rd tier of stock to sell is Backroom Dances, so you can tell them to “Hurry!” and get some more Backroom Dances in stock so that people can start buying them at 3 coins each so you can repeat the whole process again and be depressed that there is absolutely nothing better to do with your time than be a slave to this game.

Not only do you have to wait anywhere from 10 minutes to 3 (or more?) hours for things to restock, but you have to use coins to pay for the restocking so that you can earn more coins.  It sort of doesn’t make sense to me when you look at it from a gameplay standpoint, even if it makes sense in a real life standpoint.  But this game is not real life, it is a game.  They should just make us earn less coins per stock or reduce the amount of stock you gain per restock.  It is sort of a weird, needless, cyclical thing going on and perhaps it is some sort of fail safe on their end so that if you end up spending all your coins and somehow can’t afford to restock anything you have to sit there and waste an hour elevating people to parts of the tower that are closed because they can’t sell them anything — or buy Towerbux so that you can exchange them for Coins!!  AHA!  I found out their little scheme.  But, for now, I’m just going to chalk that up to another one of those “meaningless” micromanaging things they thought was necessary to include in this game, since there’s a lot of those already.  Once you further progress in the game, you are also able to fulfill missions and get Towerbux for them.  There are about 50 of them, and it probably isn’t even worth doing for the return you get.

So, what makes me come back to this game?  Honestly, not much.  The only idle interest I have in pursuing the game any further is to see how ridiculous the micromanagement of all of your stores can get once you add a lot of floors to your tower.  I’ve played the game for approximately two days and I already find it taxing on my sanity.  Every three minutes I feel like I have to go back to the game and do “something” before I put it down and wait another three minutes to do “something” again.  The game is stable and has some seemingly useless social aspects in which you can see what towers your friends have or whatever, but that interests me not in the slightest.  How about spending more time on a single-player experience and less with these meaningless faux-multiplayer features?

This game certainly didn’t help my terrible cough, that’s for sure.

Post-mortem:

Since I wrote the review, I ended up getting to the point at which I had 40 floors in my Tower.  The more floors you added, it seemed like the game began to become less stable and you would get random crashes now and then.  They also updated the game for “Valentine’s Day” a week before February even rolled around, and made everything an obnoxious pink.

I finally decided enough was enough and I uninstalled the game on February 3rd.  I feel like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, and I probably should have done it much earlier.  This is an absolutely terrible game, and I would probably re-rate it at about 3.0/10 based on playing it for a long time (3 weeks straight?).  I can only imagine what floor that poor schmucks out there who actually enjoy this game are at, and how much time per day they spend restocking and shuffling Bitizens.

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Bad Submission #22755

January 11th, 2013 Posted in Bad Submissions | No Comments »

This form was submitted:  Sep 23 2003 / 08:43:28

name = Go Smoke A Toilet
type = Poems
title = Xylophone pieces
submission = Gi gi gi gi gi gi gi gi gi gi wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…gi gi gi gi gi gi gi woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…anyone hear me yet?  can I get a w00t w00t…w00t w00t…w00t w00t…ride wit me…ugh…I think I’m gonna go to the bathroom now…ahhhh…that feels good.  Yes.  No.  Maybe.  Why?  I don’t know.  Should I know?  A few bad apples ruin the bunch.  Throw a crumpled car out of the airplane window and SHOVE IT…SHOVE IT…SHOVE IT…SHOVE IT WHEN I’M TALKIN TO YOU!!!  Clip out the newspaper article of the eon.  EeEeEeEeEeon.  Why did I do this?  This is a pooooooooeeeeeeeeemmmmmmmm.  Deal with it.  I can make it however I want!!!  Hahahahahahaha…you don’t stand a chance against me!!!   Lookin’ for fights, eh?  Well, you tell those whackos in tights to get outta my bar and stop singing as if they’re in a movie!!!

End

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Quote #22754

January 11th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“Something about me? If you ask I will have to tell you I am a spicy chocolate! I am sweet and affectionate most of the time, BUT! If you dare to mess with me this sexy lady, I am very feisty so be warned ;p haha”

– from a girl’s dating profile

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Quote #22753

January 11th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“Yes, I do like apples but part of the reasons why I put I like apples is because I don’t wanna be too straight forward and put I like bananas ;) lol ya know what I mean! The fruit!”

– from a girl’s dating profile

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Sex and Math

January 11th, 2013 Posted in (C) Funny Poem, (C) Mathematical Poems, Poetry and Songs | No Comments »

Sex is like math.

Subtract the clothes.

Divide the legs.

Add the moaning.

Hope you don’t multiply.

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Bad Submission #22751

January 11th, 2013 Posted in Bad Submissions | No Comments »

This form was submitted:  Feb 28 2004 / 18:49:04

name = Go Smoke A Toilet
type = Poems
title = Uh
submission = Uh
DO YOU LIKE TO SMOKKKKEEEE WASHING MACHINNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSS????????????????????????
cuz I do
bye

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It Alive

January 11th, 2013 Posted in (C) Stoner Poems, Poetry and Songs | No Comments »

Weed, Weed on a leaf

Weed, Weed on a tree

Weed, Weed in my room

Weed, Weed where’s my shroom

Weed, Weed I forgot

Weed, Weed That apple’s hot

YES!!!!!!!!!!

-~-

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Quote #22749

January 9th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“Men who trust in God and take a mature attitude about the ups and downs of life..are sexy!”

– from a girl’s dating profile

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Quote #22748

January 9th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“So if you wanna meet a sweet girl with a bad attitude whose a lady in the street but freak in the sheets, let me know :)”

– from a girl’s dating profile

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Quote #22747

January 9th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“WARNING: Any institutions or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies or projects-you DO NOT have permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications. It is recommended that other members post a similar notice.”

– from lots of people’s dating profiles and it makes no sense and oh look I posted the warning itself guess it doesn’t fucking do anything to protect you after all.

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