Rants, raves, and reviews on politics, products, and more.
Assignment: As a peasant farmer, write an entry in your diary describing how you feel about your lot in life
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Apulis (April) 14,
It is very boring. We have not had any wars for some time now. I am beginning to think that we don’t need anymore knights. We have been at the training center for months doing the same thing. We are getting bored. maybe we should start a war with Spain
I am proud of a few things that i am proud of about 8th grade
1. I started playing a lot more video games
2. I started playing a lot more computer stuff too
3. I had a lot of fun playing video games and computer games
4. My first quarter report card, compared to the other (2.33 babyyyy!)
High School Goals:
I would like to get good grades in high school, so I can get a job that pays money
If I found a bathroom key to the 7/8 bathrooms, next year i can open the 7/8 bathrooms, which are nicer and cleaner than the ol’ dirty ciggarette smelling high school bathrooms with my very own bathroom key, unless they change all the locks though, then its useless. i could probably get into reg. classrooms with the key…but i doubt it. haha…go in there and steal a VCR from a teacher i hate. then i wont have to buy one
hmm
i’ll bring a bunch of my friends. we’ll steal the tv, and some more vcrs…probably a few more tvs, but thats when we get a truck, and a few guns, masks, gloves, black clothes, during the night making sure there are no janitors out on the prowel
but, then again, if its just a bathroom key…all we can steal is a towel roll, the knobs on the faucets, and break the towel dispensor
hehe…i’d like to see those stupid new 8th graders use those faucets…
pee all over the mirrors too. when they look in the mirror at their reflection
ohh boy!
they’ll either try to wipe it off to see a clearer view of them or something. hehe….also take the toilet flusher handle thingys off the high powered “toilets.” i mean…you have to have some pretty big pieces of shit to use a high powered toilet
…so we’ll take those off, not like anybody uses them anyway
and if anybody DOES use them…they’ll be in for a surprise they’ll probably have to use a stick they found outside jam it into where the handle used to be and try and flush it without breaking the stick.
hmm
we’ll also take the doors to the toilets. no one uses them toilets, so why do they need doors? and….we’ll take the handles off the urinals
are you even listening?
well, anyway
then we’d go to the men’s bathroom which is much more nicer, so we’ll fuck that up more then go to the girls bathroom do the same crap, but on the door to the bathroom we’ll spray paint “no pussies aloud” and on the door of the toilets, we wont take those because they deserve their privacy…
…sorta..
then we’d go to the women’s bathroom and equally fuck that up
but 7 times more
hmm
i wonder what the charge for all of that would be if we got caught..
anyway, that would be cool
we’d probably get 98 counts of vandalism, give or take a few hundred counts…we’ll also get 5 consecutive lifetimes in prison or a few dozen more…
hehe…that would be cool…
-ridiculous
-stupid
-a lot of them about love
-ones that I don’t make are bad
-words
-rhyming
-old people writing shit
Poetry is like a cheap way to make money for tossing words into a few sentences that sound good
1. davepoobond cannot poop in a circle
2. davepoobond smells like teen spirit
3. davepoobond’s penis is the same size as a muskrat’s.
4. davepoobond has sex with zebras
When I am bored in the future, I will proclaim Antarctica and the Arctic their own republic and gain freedom from the oppression given on the republics by the U.S. and Russia and any other countries that fucked with the Earth’s poles. I’ll go across the world, finding homeless people, and give them igloo mansions, money, and a job at the zoos in Antarctica and the Arctic. Our main income would be from zoos, and the main attractions would be polar bears and penguins. And we’ll become an imperialist nation and take over Greenland in a war, then slowly take over all the uninhabited islands of Canada that they don’t even use. Then, take over all the uninhabited islands of the Pacific, and everywhere else in the world that is uninhabited. Then when our forces got big enough, we’ll take over Bahrain! The republic of Antartica and Arctic live on forever! Sa-loot!
I was scared of swans, flamingos, and monkeys when i was 5 or 6 years old. Swans scared me because they looked like they would eat me. Flamingos scared me, because there were so many of them and I felt they would fly up and eat me. Monkeys scared me because I thought they would jump at me and bite me, then I’d die.
Now, swans, flamingos, and monekys aren’t scary anymore to me, because of things I learned about them.
Another thing I was scared of was this thing that is in the zoo and you push a button and it lets you smell an animal. It scared me because I smelled a bear, a skunk, and a gorilla, and I stayed away from it.
Now, they took that thing away, so I’m not scared of it anymore.
i really like those catch phrases that are not real words, or just happen to be dumb like:
waka waka waka – someone from the muppets
wa wa wa – chachi on happy days
whutyoutalkinboutwillis – arnold from different strokes
lucy, youb goss som splainin to doooo – ricky from I love lucy
waaaaaaaaa – lucy from i love lucy
wEll – sammantha (sam) from Bewitched
I smell trouble! – dog, from cat dog
I’M READY – sponge bob square pants, from eh, himself
super doppler 7 – some chick from abc 7
beltway – some chick from abc 7
mumblemumblemumble adam – my mom
i also really like breaking old computers, like a tandy 2000 i came across, the piece of scheiss didnt even tell the time correctly, so i stripped the boards for components and crushed it into powered silicon, and shot the dust, and pissed on it (my cat too, i mean, he pissed on it too, i didnt piss on her…), and then i buirried some of my dead birds with it, and… ummmm, put dirt on it….
as I lay prone, still, almost lifeless in appearance, holding my dasiy and sighting in on the unlucky pest, I watched carefully in apprehension of being spotted, I could only take one shot, they would pinpoint me with two, trying hard to remain part of the woods, adjusting my ghillie, repositioning my grip, I took a deap breath and exhaled it slowly, an icy chill came about my whole body as if foreshadowing my fate, I took careful aim, only to stop to doulbe check my action, “a bit of dirt couldent hurt it more than to dull its luster” I told myself, another breath I took, only to exhale and hold at that point, aiming carefully I slowly pulled the trigger back, feeling the last of the slack, I let my finger tighten, hold and rechecking my aim, I finished the pull with a slight jerk, holding my aim as to make sure the shot had cleared the barell, the black mass of feathers landed with a dull thud and an explosion of others, I knew that one was all I could take today, holding my aim as I stood, slowly I drew a Beretta from my side, creeping up on the downed animial I worried much of the condition of my pistol, if it were indeed loaded, the action may be flushed with mud, a misfire could mean death, but I kept on, almost 10 yards from the beast, I slowed my pace, almost to a halt, when examining the lifeless mass more closely, it seemed most reasuring to me that this animal was totally still, foolishly I holstered my weapon and drew closer, knealing at the kill, I started at it, he lay there dead, I redrew my weapon and placed 15 rounds into the body of the bird, stuck a stick through him, and hurled his ass into my neighbors yard, hehehe
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and that is how i really feel.
woow, I am hung over because i drank a bottle of wine last night
fub fub fub fub
oi
wubwubwubwubwub
hehehe
I sound like that crab from that show, Futurama
I’m not having fun being hung over. nooo
I have a headache
and another
and another
and heres one i just found
My mouth is dry, my pee is green, my eyes are soar, my peener is hardly funcioning, I woke up before I knew something about a railroad, and I’m ummmmm, unhappy
That dream was coool
I was some little boy, and my father was sending me away on a kayak
Well
After the shooting, or it was at a school or somthing and i got a few meters off the shore and soemthing happened and i got upgraded to some really nice train but i pushed it, and it was horse driven and the track split up ahead. I hit my cat, but she was ok, but it wasnt my cat. It was something else. I dont know what cuz i woke up damn phone. Dreams are soo cool, I wish I could finish a dream once in a while I wonder what it would look like.
Would there be credits??
I was going home from Jack In the Box one day, and since I couldn’t drive then, I had to take the public bus home. When I got on, there was a weird old Spanish lady. When I sat down, we were going along for a while, and the stupid lady kept taking glances at me. It was weird…old Spanish ladies spook me out. You always see them randomly walking around down a street or something, because they don’t have a car or something.
Later on, this weird kid with a cast on his arm, got on, and he sat directly across from me. After about 2 minutes, he asked me “where are you going?” I said, “Home…” Then he says, “Cool…I think I’ll go there, too” That made me raise an eyebrow. I was thinking he meant coming home with me…so when we got to my stop, I got off, the kid got off, and the lady got off. The lady went the opposite direction from me, and the kid was following me, it seemed. I was getting freaked out because he was following me. He followed me for about 4 blocks, then just disappeared. Weird day.
This note has really bad writing and has random things all over the place. The main part of the note is there, and everything random is after the main paragraph thingy. To make things worst, almost half the paper is gone, 1/4 from the top and 1/4 from the bottom.
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Represent Mama B!!!!
hey! I’m in chemistry right now. just, ignore the notes on the other page. I’m happy because I just found out that I have an A in this class. I really hope I get a 3.83 like I want! So, how was your weekend? Mine was boring at my dad’s house.
So, yeah, I was really annoyed w/ the guys. how they only want to hang out w/ us when they can use us! well, maybe I don’t want them to come this weekend. I dunno, now. There I’ve hung out w/ other guys, I realize how rude and mean our guys are I’m not even gonna call them “our” guys anymore. So anywho, who do you like now? I know you want FAG. heehee I’m so just kidding. You know who like…I need to get to know much better. god, tattoo boy is in my class right now and he is so dumb. Its really funny. hey, my-
(rest of the page is ripped off)
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Random things all over the back and such:
-I’m sitting next to (scribble lines)
-I’ll tell you later! she is so stupid
-Represent! Please don’t show anyone!
-Homogenous mixture of two or more substances
-Can be made from all 3 states of mattr.
names have been changed to farm animals, to protect the stupid…
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Hey wassup,
Okay, right now we’re doing world history group projects. its very interesting. we have to write an article on Charlie Chaplin and radios. you can see with my little doodle down there. (in the middle of the page there is a blob that is smudged) = P wellps i hate this stupid class so much and ive got lak on my hand. hey, pretty interesting pics of mine eh? ive got a funny game i hear in wh – ill tell you, unless i told you all ready. it’s pretty cool. haha…i’m bored as hell. okay, i’m in spanish right now. you’re in spanish right now. well, i feel so stupid because i didnt see you guys and stuff. i think Cow feels wierd around me because whenever im around she’s really quiet and she never looks my direction and stuff. i dont know – maybe my dream will become part true. hey lunch was still cool. = ) They’re like getting funnier and funnier our little “talking” or “going to the lockers” talk. haha. ooo. descanso 5 minutes. but i have to go in like 10. hey sorry this is short. i have to go. i’ll pg you. i love you. Love always, Mule
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HEY WASSUP~
So you’re probably in Spanish right now. Sorry im not there to talk to you. i have to play supid tennis. hey – that’d be cool if you came – and you/we went “jogging” haha- anyways. omg- you are soooo good. like what you did was….i feel really embarrassed saying this but – it like felt so good i like….omg-i am soooooooo embarrassed…omg you know- i just dont know how to say it. okies well- i could – no i seriously like wanted to-omg-gaaaahh- i dont but do want to say it. okie. take a deep breath. okie- i like seriously felt like, you know, moan or something. omg i feel sooo love now…anyways – like what you did-it felt good cause like it was new and stuff. and if you don’t want to it’s totally cool w/me. but whatever you want. that’s why i dont really “guide” you, im not sure what you want. well, ps me shoe wel ill call you tonight. i love you soooo much-don’t forget and thanks about me. = ) eur i’ll think about you.
Love Always,
Mule
This was written a long time ago when boy bands were at their prime, and dave was in 8th grade, so that’s why its really dumb
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First, it was Hanson. They gave a bad name to the bands of the 90s. At least they played instruments, even though it didn’t look like it. Then for a very short time it was Leonardo Dickaprio. That was for a pretty short time, but we’re not here to discuss him. Then they came. It was the Backstreet Boys, N’Sync, 98 Degrees, and 5ive. This just makes me sick. Why do they even call them “bands,” anyway? They just sing songs that they didn’t write at all and take all the credit for it when they say stuff like, “Oh, yes, I felt so much love when I was making this song.” It just plain PISSES ME OFF!!!! The only reason they have their success is because they are “hot.” No one gives a crap about how they sound, just how they look. This is also a nation-wide problem.
A lot of girls around here have loved the bsb since 6th grade. Now, we’re in 8th grade. That’s 3 years. 3 years of wasting money on stupid little cds made by these stupid boy bands. Some of them don’t like them anymore. I bet some of them are still jacking off for them too, i bet. I think that most of these immature, screechy, empty-headed girls probably buy one of these boy band’s cds then, throw the cd out and save the pictures.
I myself, being a victim of the backstreet boys, now hate them with all my heart. I wish that i can get all of that dumbass music out of my brain, but some of my mind is still poisoned by these bands. Having a sister that is obsessed with these bands and other little corny solo artists (namely, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera) is not helping at all. Whenever i hear one of these songs, they stick in my mind, and the little part of my mind that is still poisoned, seems to take over.
They whine. They whine so much, that’s half the reason that I get pissed off. They dont even play their instruments, that pisses me off too. Oh, excuse me, like one of those guys from bsb plays a piano. A PIANO! COME ON PEOPLE! A band sucks when it has a piano in it. Look how Ben Folds Five turned out. They have a piano player, and they aren’t popular. Either that, or because the piano player guy isn’t “hot enough” or whatever. Anyway, some people say that bsb plays instruments. They don’t. Belive me. If they did, wouldn’t you think they would be playing it in their videos or at concerts, like normal bands? In case you haven’t noticed during their stupid little performance at the MTV Video Music Awards, there was a bunch of people in the back while they were dancing their stupid little brains out, while people are screaming things like, “KEVIN! I LOVE YOU, MARRY ME!” or “YOU ARE SO HOT! MARRY ME!” MY G-O-D people. That is just plain screwed up. These misguided “bands” are misguiding misguided souls in this misguided world.
This problem that the USA has, has got to be fixed, and fixed fast. They have been taking too much space on MTV’s TRL for too long. If you look at all the requests and the stupid annoying people that talk during the video, they say something about how they look. The countries outside the USA are getting over these stupid bands. They are lucky. Why can’t the same thing happen here? Because they are just too “hot” for girls to hate most likely. Here’s what you can do. If you know someone who loves bsb or nsync or 98 degrees or 5ive or whatever da hell else is out there, go up to them and ask them why they like these stupid little dumbasses, and i bet that 4/5 will say that they think they’re hot. Try it.