Jack in the Crack

Jack: hi. I’m Jack. You may wonder why I have a ridiculous plastic ball on my head, and a party hat on top of that. But I’ll tell you something…


(Jack walks to the right)


Jack: hi, I’m Jack. I have an airplane, and a football team. We make lots of good, quality fast food. As good as fast food will get anyway. But as long as its better than McDonalds, I’d guess it is better quality anyway, even if we took a crap on it. All our food is made with 100% crack cocaine, and we made different types of food with it. Crack Taco Shells, Crack Cheese, Crack Beef, Crack Lettuce, just to name a few.


(Jack picks up a crack pipe)


Jack: ah, nature’s fruits of labor…and remember, we don’t crack it, ’till you jack-it!”




A Bus Ride

I was going home from Jack In the Box one day, and since I couldn’t drive then, I had to take the public bus home. When I got on, there was a weird old Spanish lady. When I sat down, we were going along for a while, and the stupid lady kept taking glances at me. It was weird…old Spanish ladies spook me out. You always see them randomly walking around down a street or something, because they don’t have a car or something.

Later on, this weird kid with a cast on his arm, got on, and he sat directly across from me. After about 2 minutes, he asked me “where are you going?” I said, “Home…” Then he says, “Cool…I think I’ll go there, too” That made me raise an eyebrow. I was thinking he meant coming home with me…so when we got to my stop, I got off, the kid got off, and the lady got off. The lady went the opposite direction from me, and the kid was following me, it seemed. I was getting freaked out because he was following me. He followed me for about 4 blocks, then just disappeared. Weird day.