I was doing the Rock Lobster fishing daily in Stormwind when…
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Ghoest: how do you cloleck them
davepoobond: what
Ghoest: the lobster it ownt let me
davepoobond: idk man you right click them
Ghoest: dont got that option AHHHH
I was doing the Rock Lobster fishing daily in Stormwind when…
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Ghoest: how do you cloleck them
davepoobond: what
Ghoest: the lobster it ownt let me
davepoobond: idk man you right click them
Ghoest: dont got that option AHHHH
In the trade chat channel in World of Warcraft, I was spouting:
“WTS [Fiery Warhorse’s Reins] mount RUN – 250g or best offer, pst! If it drops its yours! READ THIS BEFORE WHISPERING ME. DO NOT WANT TO BUY YOUR NERD RAGE”
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Cantevennerf: NERD RAGE 50G MAN I SWEAR ITS TOP-TIER RAGE
davepoobond: SORTA WANT
davepoobond: AT FIRST I WAS LIKE D:
davepoobond: THEN I WAS LIKE D:
In the trade chat channel in World of Warcraft I was spouting:
“WTS [Fiery Warhorse’s Reins] mount RUN – 250g or best offer, pst! If it drops its yours! READ THIS BEFORE WHISPERING ME.”
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Btk: anyone can solo the first boss in kara, your stupid
davepoobond: you’re stupider for complaining
Btk: problem?
davepoobond: x + y = z
davepoobond: solve for y
Btk: y= your mum x=my wood z= you
davepoobond: hello, how has your day been today
Btk: deal with it
hreet – n. a voodoo concoction consisting of Skittles and water.
Maw: Paw, git up. It’s time to fuck the hogs and milk the trees.
Paw: Milk the trees??? Listen, I milked them last night.
Maw: Well, git up. Listen, the old red cow is crowing.
Paw: What’s fer breakfast? Corn pone and black-eyed poop?
Maw: No. I got some nice fried beer belly.
Paw: Good. After breakfast I’ll slap the chickens and I’ll have to fix the still.
Maw: What’s wrong with the still?
Paw: It’s turning out pee instead of moonshine. I think I’ve been putting too much meat in the mash.
Maw: Well, don’t forget to take your rifle, Paw. If a Revenue Agent spots you you can shoot him in the arse.
Bird watching can be more fun than a barrel of fish. Our hairy feathered friends are everywhere, waiting to be watched. An interesting bird to start with is the Creamy Oriole, which builds its nest in shit trees. Early in spring we hear the Oriole give its mating call, which sounds like this: “slurp, slurp.” Then the male and female get together and fuck. Later the female lays 69 eggs. Isn’t that stimulating? Another fascinating bird is the Three-Breasted Nuthatch. The Nuthatch is very tame. He will fly down and land right on your rubber, and eat out of your dick. Other birds to watch out for are the Red-Crested Ass, the Red-Necked Thrush and the Yellow-Bellied Tit Sucker. Now that you know something about birds – get out there and watch!
Parody of “Hey Diddle Diddle”
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Hi, diddle, diddle, the fish and the fiddle.
The turds jumped over the goon.
The little dog laughed to see such a sport,
And the dish ran away with the loon.
Scene: A restaurant (where else?)
Customer: Oh, waitress! Would you bring me a drink? I’d like a dry cum on the rocks, with a twist of peach.
Waitress: All right, sir. Will you order your dinner too?
Customer: Yes, I’ll have the roast prime teachers of beef with the lung pudding.
Waitress: We’re out of that. How about a sizzling sirloin Eric with a spicy green salad?
Customer: No, thanks. I’d rather have the smooth fried chicken.
Waitress: We’re out of that, too. How about fried Erics?
Customer: No, thanks. Do you have any roast Long Island lesbian?
Waitress: No, but why don’t you try our brown goulash with homemade weiner sauce?
Customer: Oh, never mind. Just bring me a shot egg sandwich and a cup of black sylvia
Here is tomorrow’s weather report for Iraq and vicinity. Early tomorrow a tit front will collide with a mass of hot cum moving from the north. This means we can expect Blowing winds and occasional orgasms by late afternoon. Wind velocity will be 69 mph and the high temperature should be around 98.6 degrees. So, if you’re going out, you’d better wear a bra.
Jonas Peters lay on the playing field, clutching his leg in pain. The trainer, Mrs. Sudiro, grabbed her first aid kit and ran out to Jonas. She checked to see if he had a break in a bone, called a donkey. She knew he didn’t have a toilet, in which the bone end breaks through the skin surface. Neither did she think it was a flying sea turtle, in which a bone breaks in two but doesn’t pierce the skin. Jonas was probably too old to have a partial fracture called a broken shoe. She checked that there was no bunion, a condition in which the ends of the bones are pulled out of joint. Mrs. Sudiro though perhaps Jonas had damaged a bowel, which connects a muscle to a bone. Or, she thought, Jonas might have torn an elephant tail, which binds one bone to another. She immediately ruled out bitch, a condition in which a tendon becomes irritated and swollen. Neither did it seem that Jonas had Bob Saget in his ankle or knee. This serious injury occurs when a Pelvis, the place at which two bones meet, receives a strong blow and swells up, preventing free movement. In many cases, the damaged scoliosis must be surgically removed.
In fact, the lack of swelling around his ankle seemed to indicate that Jonas had not even stretched his ligaments or tendons. Thus Mrs. Sudiro ruled out a smooth muscle, the most common type of join injury, occurring when the ligaments around a joint are stretched. Since Jonas didn’t appear to have damaged joints, Mrs. Sudiro examined his leg for possible muscle injuries. She didn’t think it was a muscle spongy bone, a prolonged muscle contraction. She felt that it was either a Mr. Poop, a rip of the muscle fiber, or a Mr. Happy, also called a pulled muscle. She thought Jonas might have injured a vertebrae muscle. This which ruled out and injury to muscle strain muscle. Mrs. Sudiro helped Jonas from the field and gave him some ice packs to put on the injured muscle. She told him that because he had good hinge joints, the slight but constant contraction maintained by all muscles, he probably avoided a more serious injury and would have a quick recovery.
Submitted through the Anti-Barney Song submission form.
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This form was submitted: Apr 25 2005 / 08:18:05
name = caca
email = bugarman@
use_email = yes
song = barney sucks
Submitted through the Other submission form.
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This form was submitted: Jun 29 2005 / 16:31:47
name = David
email = imageparty@
use_email = yes
type = songs
title = Hussein you should of left and taken your wife
submission = My submission is a Rock song about Hussein. How do I submit the song?
Captain O’Hagan: “I swear to God I’m going to pistol whip the next guy who says, ‘Shenanigans.'”
Mac: “Hey Farva what’s the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the wall and the mozzarella sticks?”
Farva: “You mean Shenanigans?”
::as they hand the Captain their pistols::
– from Super Troopers
Police Chief Grady: “I’m sorry about that delousing. Just standard procedure.”
Farva: “It’s powdered sugar.”
Police Chief Grady: “The lice hate the sugar.”
Farva: “It’s delicious.”
– from Super Troopers
Crawl: “you’ll be happy to know, after you bailed, I popped your daughter’s trunk”
Walter: “oh shit…”
– from a movie