All posts by A Squackler

A Squackler is a generic person who has submitted content to Squackle. They basically are not worthy of having their own name made in the blog system because they basically only submitted a small amount of content.
Jokes, (C) Blonde Jokes

Joke #5301

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A blonde walks into an appliance store, looks around, points and tells the shopkeeper, “Sir, I’d like the TV on the 3rd shelf.”

The shopkeeper looks at her, and says , “I’m sorry ma’am, we don’t serve blondes. Please leave.”

The blonde was very angry, so she went home, dyed her hair brown , and returned the next day. She asked the shopkeeper, “How much is the tv on the 3rd shelf?”

The shopkeeper looked at her, sighed, and said, “Look ma’am, we don’t serve blondes! Please leave.”

By this time, the girl was infuriated. So she went home, shaved her head, and came back the next day. She asked the shopkeeper about the TV, and he told her, “Ma’am. I’ve told you. We don’t serve blondes, so you’ll have to leave.”

The blonde, in a rage, demanded, “How could you tell I am a blonde???”

The shopkeeper looked at her, shook his head, and said, “Because that’s not a TV… It’s a microwave.”

Jokes, (C) Blonde Jokes

Joke #5298

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I swear to God this is a true story…

I went to the mall with my cousin, and we were walking to his car when we passed 2 blondes. They were trying to open their car with a hanger. My cousin asked one of the girls if she needed any help, and she replied, “Yes, and will you hurry up, because the top is down and it looks like it’s gonna rain soon.”

P.S. My cousin is blonde too, maybe that’s why he offered to help…

Jokes, (C) Blonde Jokes

Joke #5295

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There is a blonde and a brunette that own a ranch and it is going to be sold if they can’t increase the cow herd.

The brunette goes to find a bull for the herd and tells the blonde she will fax her so the blonde can take the truck, hitch it to the trailer and come get the bull.

The brunette takes $60 and goes to a neighboring ranch. She finds a bull and pays $59 for it. Then she goes and tries to send a fax, but the cost is $.99 per word.

The brunette thinks a minute and then says to send the word “comfortable”.

The operator looks at the brunette funny, so she says ” Don’t worry, my sisters a blonde so she’ll read it slow”

Jokes, (C) Blonde Jokes

Joke #5294

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A skyscaper is on fire, there are three people on the top of the building, waiting to be rescued; a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.

There are people standing on the streets holding out a blanket and asking them to jump.

The brunette jumped and they moved the blanket away. She fell to her death.

The crowds were asking the redhead to jump but she said no.

“Don’t worry, we all hate brunettes and love redheads.”

She believed it and jumped, and again, they moved the blanket and she fell to her death.

The blonde quickly shouted, “okay, I will jump but only on one condition. You all must put the blanket on the floor and back off 10 meteres, then I will jump!”

Jokes, (C) Blonde Jokes

Joke #5293

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There was a blonde and she pulled in front of a truck driver on the road and the truck driver got her to pull over and he drew a circle on the road with some chalk and said “stay in this circle” so he went in his truck and got a knife and cut her seats and the blonde laughed.

He gets some gas and pours it on her car and she laughed more.  He got a match and threw it on the car. The blonde was laughing so much when he asked why she said “Every time you turned around I STEPPED OUT OF THE CIRCLE”

Jokes, (C) Blonde Jokes

Joke #5292

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A blind man enters a Ladies’ Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, sir, you should know five things …..

1 – The bartender is a blonde girl.

2 – The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3 – I’m a 6 feet tall, 200 pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4 – The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weight lifter.

5 – The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.

Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, “Nah…Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

Jokes, (C) Blonde Jokes

Joke #5288

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There’s a blonde, brunette, and a redhead all stranded on an island.

They are about 30 miles from land, and the brunette bets the redhead and blonde she could swim to land first, and if she didn’t, then she’d pay them both $100.

Well they all started swimming, and 10 miles into the swim, the redhead became tired and drowns.

The blonde and brunette continued, and about 2 miles from shore the blonde became tired, turned around and went back.

The brunette, just turned around and said what a dumbass, and never heard from the blonde again.