Q: What did the blonde say to her dad when she opened the box of Cheerios?
A: “Look daddy, donut seeds!”
All posts by A Squackler
Joke #5284
Q: Which 3rd grader has the best body, the blonde, brunette or redhead?
A: The blonde – she’s eighteen.
Joke #5283
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: If you slap a mosquito, it’ll stop sucking.
Joke #5282
Q: Why did the blonde climb the glass fence?
A: To see what was on the other side
Joke #5281
Q: Why dont blondes go water skiing?
A: They lay down as soon as their crotches get wet
Joke #5280
A blonde is going on vacation, and she’s lookin’ for more money to give her that’s how stupid she is. You know why she is blonde? Because her boyfriend is Blonde too. Damn blonde……………..
Joke #5278
Q: What do you call a blonde with one brain cell?
A: Gifted
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant
Joke #5277
A blonde is going on vacation, and she’s lookin’ for a little extra money.
She knocks on her nieghbor’s door and and asks if there are any odd-end jobs she could do.
He was like you know actually my porch needs to get painted. She looks at it and says ok I’ll do it for $50 bucks.
He was like whoa that’s a great deal, you can go ahead and get started, paints in the shed.
The man comes back out in a couple hours and sees that there is no paint on the porch. The blonde is walking up the sidewalk as he is about to protest about the porch.
As she nonchalantly says, ” I put on two coats because there was extra paint. Ohh and it’s not a Porsche… It’s a Lexus.”
Joke #5276
Q: Why was the blonde’s bellybutton sore?
A: Cause her boyfriend was blonde too!
Joke #5275
Q: A smart blonde and a dumb blonde jumped off the empire state building. Who landed 1st?
A: The dumb blonde, smart ones dont exsist!
Joke #5274
There is a brunette, redhead, and a blonde being held captive and they are going to be executed. They bring out the brunette and say, “Any last words?” She replied, “No.” The guys with the guns said, “Ready aim…”
“TORNADO,” yells the brunette. Everyone ducked and she ran away. Then they bring out the redhead. “Any last words?” they asked. “No,” she replied. “Ready aim…”
“EARTHQUAKE,” yelled the redhead. They all ducked and she ran away. Lastly, they bring out the blonde. “Any last words?” asked the firing squad. “No,” the blonde said. “Ready aim…..”
And the blonde screams, “FIRE!!!!!!”
Joke #5273
There’s this blonde who walks into a convenience store. She picks up a thermos and asks the clerk, “What is this thing?” The clerk responds, “It’s a thermos. It keeps hot htings hot and cold things cold.”
“Neat,” says the blonde and buys the thermos. The next day she goes to work with her new thermos. A co-worker asks her, “I like your new thermos. What do you have in it?” She proudly says, “Two cups of coffee and a popsicle.”
Joke #5272
There are three girls going on a long car trip in the desert.
One has brown hair, one is a redhead, and other is a blonde. All of a sudden the car stops.
“Darn, it won’t start!” exclaims the brown haired girl.
“Okay, we’ll just have to walk across the desert to get help,” says the redhead, “So, bring anything that is necessary for survival.”
The brunette brings some water in a big bottle. The redhead bring a hand held fan, and the blonde goes over to the car and rips off the car door.
As they are walking the girls dcide to stop to take a break.
The brunette drinks some water, and the redhead turns on the little fan. The blonde rolls down the car window and says, “Ahh, now that’s better!”
Joke #5271
There was a blonde and a brunette watching the 6 o’ clock news. The top story was about a man on top of the Rose Hotel threatening to jump.
The brunette turns to the blonde and says, “I bet you $50 he is going to jump.”
The blonde says, “Okay, then I’ll bet he won’t.”
Sure enough, the man jumped.
When the blonde paid the brunett the brunette says, “I’m sorry but I can’t accept your money.” The blonde replies, “Sure you can. It was a fair bet, you won.” Then the brunette says, “No, I saw the 5 o’ clock news and I already knew what was going to happen.”
Then the blonde says, “Well, I saw the 5 o’ clock news too and I was sure he wouldn’t jump again!”
Joke #5270
Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days later, as she was driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute wooly creatures, she said to the shepherd, “If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?” The shepherd, always the gentlemen replied, “Of course.” The blonde thought for a moment and for no discernible reason said, “352.”
This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably, totally amazed and exclaimed, “You’re right! Okay, I’ll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock.” The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked one that was by far cuter and more playful than any others.
When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, “Okay, now I have a propostition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?”