“I’ll bet you’re so dumb, you don’t even know that water always runs downhill.”
“You’re right. I didn’t even know it could walk.”
Tag Archives: water
Joke #12979
A tenant was complaining to his landlord. “My roof is leaking and the rain keeps coming through the broken window causing my floors to be flooded. How long is this going to continue?”
The landlord shrugged. “How should I know? I’m not a weatherman!”
You Know It’s Freezing Outside When…
America just made it through another snowy winter. Last year record lows were established. It was cold, but it could get worse.
You know it’s freezing outside when…
– your water bed turns into an ice cap.
– your false teeth chatter and they’re not even in your mouth.
– you run outside sobbing and your tears freeze.
– conservationists find “Big Foot” frozen to death.
– city workers can’t get the snow plows started.
Joke #12967
I’m so afraid of water since I saw Jaws 2 that I won’t take a shower without a spear gun.
Joke #12950
CONFUCIUS SAY: Frogman who jogs in still waters runs deep.
Joke #12818
I don’t hit my balls into the water traps because I’m a duffer. It’s just that I’m a neat golfer and I like to keep them clean.
Joke #12807
Did you hear about the dummy who tried to water ski behind a row boat?
Joke #12723
MR. DUNKLEY: “Why is this letter so damp?”
MRS. DUNKLEY: “Maybe there’s postage dew.”
Joke #12703
I saved my money in my mattress for a rainy day, and a flood washed away my bed.
Joke #12702
I’ll tell you what kind of luck I have. If there were another great flood tomorrow, I’d be caught holding a bag of cement.
Joke #12666
MOTHER WACKLY: “Did I tell you my son, Roger, is playing end guard on the college football team this year?”
NEIGHBOR: “End guard? I never heard of an end guard.”
MOTHER WACKLY: “Yes, he told me he sits on the end of the bench and guards the water bucket!”
Joke #12648
Q: Who holds the world’s underwater submergence record?
A: Nobody knows. He hasn’t come up yet.
Joke #12500
The ocean is really polluted. These days, sardines have more mercury than thermometers.
Joke #12499
The trouble with fishing in polluted waters is that if you catch a whopper, you end up with your cake, but you can’t eat it.
Joke #12498
The waters in this country must really be polluted. The other day I saw a school of minnows picketing a stream.