dedon – v. to drive more than two thousand sheep down a busy street in Los Angeles
Tag Archives: sheep
The Clutch In My Van
Parody of Britney Spears – Touch Of My Hand
–
She learned to drive at an early age….
I’m not ashamed
To use the high beam,
I find myself parking
When the light is green…
When my tires are blown
I practice my show,
And ride my clutch
With the curtains closed…
And I know my poor brain ain’t right…
When I’m standing by your side…
I’m thinking about
My van all the time..
Motor oil is on my mind.
And where & how it will apply
I love my shelves
Covered in sheep skin
I can’t control this van I’m in…
Cause I’ve just discovered,
My van’s taking over…
I’ll have to hide it from my mother-
The more I come
To understand
The clutch in my van…
And where it’s at
In between my seat
Lately Ive been noticing,
The blisters on me..
The wrinkled up skin
When I’m oily & gray,
I’m learning to drive
In a most serious way..
And I know my poor brain ain’t right…
When I’m standing by your side.
I’m thinking about
My van all the time…
Motor oil is on my mind
And where & how it will apply
Cause I’ve just discovered,
My van’s taking over…
I’ll have to hide it from my mother-
The more I come
To understand
The clutch in my van…
Mary Had a Little Lamb Song #21789
Mary had a little sheep,
and with that sheep
she went to sleep.
The sheep turned out to be a ram
and Mary had a little lamb.
Joke #18471
Customer: “Can this wool coat be worn in wet weather?”
Clerk: “Madam, have you ever seen a sheep carry an umbrella?”
Joke #18035
Q: What did the mule say to the sheep?
A: “I get a kick out of ewe.”
Joke #17944: The World’s Weirdest Sheep Story
Phil and Will built a skating rink in the middle of a pasture. One day a shepherd leading his flock decided to take a shortcut across the rink.
The sheep, however, were afraid of the ice and wouldn’t cross it.
Desperate, the shepherd began tugging them to the other side.
“Look at that,” remarked Phil to Will. “The guy is trying to pull the wool over our ice!”
Joke #17714
Q: What song do little ghosts sing in kindergarten?
A: “Boo Boo Black Sheep!”
Quote #13919
“Blah blah black sheep have you any wool?”
– Holmes
Joke #13734
Q: What’s a female sheep’s favorite time of the year?
A: Ewe Near’s Eve
Joke #13338
Q: How do sheep get clean?
A: They take a Baa-aa-aa-th.
Joke #9378
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are shown a pasture with a herd of sheep, and told to put them inside the smallest possible amount of fence.
The engineer is first. He herds the sheep into a circle and then puts the fence around them, declaring, “A circle will use the least fence for a given area, so this is the best solution.”
The physicist is next. She creates a circular fence of infinite radius around the sheep, and then draws the fence tight around the herd, declaring, “This will give the smallest circular fence around the herd.”
The mathematician is last. After giving the problem a little thought, he puts a small fence around himself and then declares, “I define myself to be on the outside!”
The Country
Joke #5270
Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days later, as she was driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute wooly creatures, she said to the shepherd, “If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?” The shepherd, always the gentlemen replied, “Of course.” The blonde thought for a moment and for no discernible reason said, “352.”
This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably, totally amazed and exclaimed, “You’re right! Okay, I’ll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock.” The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked one that was by far cuter and more playful than any others.
When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, “Okay, now I have a propostition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?”
sheepiality
sheepiality – n. the sexual relations between a human and a sheep.
Ex. He ran into the field for a spot of sheepiality.
sandlin
sandlin – n. an albino black sheep