Q: What did one autumn leaf say to the other?
A: I’m falling for you!
Tag Archives: love
Dollars and Sense
Once upon a time there was a rich guy named Ron Hubbles, III. Everybody just called him Muffins, though. His gangster friends called him Muvvenz. So, one day Muffins was in his vault admiring how much money he had. He had so much money, he could buy anything he wanted. He could’ve bought a country! But, instead he bought a ghetto in the middle of a city near Los Angeles.
Muffins, owning the ghetto, could do anything he wanted. He changed the name of the ghetto to Ronhub. He also changed all the names of the streets to a varied form of his name, Ron Hubbles, III. There were streets like Ronald, Ronald 2, The Hub, Ubbles, Hubbles III, etc. Yes, life was grand in the ghetto. All the windows that had been broken were boarded up, and it was a safe place because everyone had 8 locks on their doors. But one day, a good four days after it was bought, the ghetto Ronhub became a killing field. Gangsters from all over LA came into Ronhub, and shot everyone they could, because Muffins was sleeping with all their favorite hoes that lived in the area.
Everyone died. There were brains and pantless asses strewn across the streets. Some were even on the roofs of houses. Muffins sold the ghetto the next day, and no one moved into the area again. All the houses were used as crack houses for a year until a meth lab exploded and caused a chain reaction that blew up all the other drug labs in the ghetto.
The moral of the story:
You can’t buy love.
The End.
I Love You Alwayz
What would you do if every time you fell in love with someone you had to say good-bye?
What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?
What would you do if for every moment you were truly happy there would be 10 moments of sadness?
What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt?
What would you do if you loved someone more than anything else and you could never have them?
Some people live and some people die.
But I want to tell you I love you and you are a true friend…
That I will always be here for you when and if you need me…
If I died tomorrow, you would be in my heart forever.
Would I be in yours?
If you care about the person who sent this to you then you will send it back.
Please send this to all your friends…
You might be best friends one year, pretty good friends the next year, don’t talk that often the next year, and don’t want to talk at all the year after that.
So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life.
I look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you.
Send this to all your friends, no matter how often you talk, or how close you are, and send it to the person who sent it to you.
Let old friends know you haven’t forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will.
Remember, everyone needs a friend, someday you might feel like you have NO FRIENDS at all, just remember this e-mail and take comfort in knowing
somebody out there cares about you and always will.
I LOVE YOU ALWAYZ & FOREVER!!!
Joke #5260: Do the Screw
It’s the spring of 1957 and Bobby, a pretty hip guy with his own car, goes to pick up his date. When he goes to the front door, the girl’s father answers and invites him in. “Carrie’s not ready yet, so why don’t you have a seat?” he says.
“That’s cool,” says Bobby. Carrie’s father asks Bobby what they’re planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie.
Carrie’s father responds, “Why don’t you two go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it.”
Naturally, this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby, so he asks Carrie’s dad to repeat it.
“Oh yeah,” says Carries father, “our Carrie really loves to screw. She’d screw all night if we’d let her!”
Well, this makes Bobby’s eyes light up, and his plan for the evening is beginning to look pretty good.
A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces that she’s ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door.
About 20 minutes later, Carrie rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father: “DARN IT, DADDY! IT’S CALLED THE TWIST!!!”
Joke #5241: White Guy’s Poetry Lesson
Two friends, a white guy and a black guy, both work together. The white guy came in late one morning and his black friend asks where he had been.
The white guy says, “My wife gives me good sex every night and she kept me up really late last night.”
The black guy says “I can’t get my wife to have sex with me, no matter what! How do you do it?”
The white guy says, “I read her poetry every night.”
His black friend then asks, “What kind of poetry?”
The white guy replies, “Blondie, blondie, eyes so blue, how I want to make love to you.” Then the white guy tells his friend to go home and try it – it’s a sure thing!
The next morning the black guy was about 2 hours late. When he comes in, he has a black eye and his arm is in a sling.
The white man asks, “What happened?!”
The black man says, “Man, don’t ever speak to me again!”
The curious white man asks, “Well, what did you say to her?”
The black man replies, ‘Nappy head, nappy head, eyes like a frog, bend over bitch, and take it like a dog!!”
Joke #5223: In Your Dreams
A young single guy finds himself stranded on a deserted island. As he washes ashore, he sees a women passed out in the sand. Able to perform CPR on her, he saves her life. Suddenly, he realizes that the woman is Cindy Crawford. Immediately, Cindy falls in love with the man. Days and weeks go by, and they’re making passionate love morning, noon and night. True Heaven on earth in the man’s eyes. Alas, one day she notices he’s looking kind of glum.
“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” she asks. “We have a wonderful life together and I’m in love with you. Is there something wrong? Is there anything I can do?”
He says, “Actually, Cindy, there is. Would you mind, putting on my shirt and pants?” “Sure,” she says, “if it’ll help.” He takes off his shirt and pants and she puts it on. “Okay, would you put on my hat now, and draw a little mustache on your face?” he asks. “Whatever you want, sweetie,” she says, and does so.
Then he says, “Now, would you start walking around the edge of the island?” She starts walking around the perimeter of the island. He sets off in the other direction. They meet up half way around the island a few minutes later.
He rushes up to her, grabs her by the shoulders, and says, “Dude! You’ll never believe who I’m sleeping with!”
love
love – n. an emotion wasted on women
;} something I’ll never feel again because all the women I’ve trusted have lied to me
;} a feeling that makes you wanna die
;} a feeling that tears up your heart because some girl was playing mind games with your head
IUD
IUD – n. love springs internal
hojiwala
hojiwala – n. a quilt of love
gimtsoin
gimtsoin – v. to love a specific letter.
Ex. 1: I gimtsoin A.
2: What do you gimtsoin?
bafusably
bafusably – adj. comparable to the love between BB and Alana.
Ex. Alana I love you bafusably!
adzae
adzae – adj. to have less fat and need more love