davepoobond: blah
Holmes: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAH
davepoobond: wut?
Holmes: i dunno
davepoobond: oh…
Tag Archives: Holmes
#6129: Holmes -> davepoobond
Holmes: would u eat bugs
davepoobond: sure
Holmes: l;ady bugs?
Holmes: foot worms?
davepoobond: yeah, they taste like chicken
Holmes: ew
davepoobond: do you like chicken?
Holmes: ok thats just nasty
Holmes: not any more
davepoobond: heh
Holmes: hey do you have AOL 6.0?
davepoobond: no
Holmes: why
davepoobond: AOL 6.0 is bad..
davepoobond: i heard it from pretty much everyone
Holmes: not much difference
Holmes: you get to have symbol thingies on the IM’s
davepoobond: big whoop
davepoobond: i have that on AIM
Holmes: well you stink!
davepoobond: and
Holmes: stink rhymes with cheese if you add ink to the end of cheese
davepoobond: k
Holmes: think cheese and stink are related words, seperated at birth?
davepoobond: …………………………………………..sorta
Holmes: i don’t like your tone
davepoobond: i dont like your treble
Holmes: i don’t like your bass
davepoobond: i dont like your volume
Holmes: …that sounds nasty
davepoobond: lol
davepoobond: i dont like your synthesizer
Holmes: i don’t like your beats
Holmes: ::loking at computer volume conrtols:: I don’t like your microphone balance
davepoobond: i dont like your mp3 player
davepoobond: or your speakers
Holmes: whats wrong with napster and polkaudio?
Holmes: heh polkaudio
davepoobond: you’re on it
Holmes: well my speakers can’t hear you so NAH
davepoobond: NAH
davepoobond: you no NAH nah you nah naher
Holmes: ralph naher
Holmes: oh no, my mom’s watching the stupid spanish soap operas again
Holmes: those are SOOOOOOOOooo stupid
Holmes: she doesn’t understand spanish, only portuguese but there close so she watches it
davepoobond: HAHA
Holmes: theres this lady on one of em that changes her hair color everyday! it’s meant to match her clothes
davepoobond: lol
Holmes: ugh i turned it off and she yelled at me lol
#6128: Holmes -> davepoobond
Holmes: twinkies
davepoobond: hi
Holmes: twinkies
davepoobond: hi
Holmes: twinkies
davepoobond: hi
Holmes: twinkies twinkies
Holmes: go eat a twinkie
davepoobond: no
Holmes: you people come in here eatin twinkies like theres no tommorow
davepoobond: not me
davepoobond: i dont
davepoobond: you do
davepoobond: but not me
Holmes: you disgust me
Holmes: i wasn’t talking to you!
Holmes: i was talking to me so excuse your self from the converstaion!
davepoobond: yes you were
davepoobond: you were talking about us!
davepoobond: and we dont appreciate it
Holmes: this is an A – A conversaion, no B’s
davepoobond: ::blinks:: yeah
Holmes: well you two can go eat stuffed shrimp for all i care
davepoobond: us two who?
Holmes: me and you, i’m so sick of me especially. Comes in here acting like his farts don’t stink
davepoobond: ew
davepoobond: thats nasty
davepoobond: and also do you say “smealt it, you dealt it” to yourself then?
Holmes: yeah but then myself always comes back by sayin “rhymed it, crimed it”
davepoobond: lol!
davepoobond: maybe you should stop it?
Holmes: but me loves beans!
davepoobond: then….eat guisantes
davepoobond: i dont know what they are in English
Holmes: mmm anything with a g is good…
davepoobond: ok
Holmes: germs, grease…
Holmes: ground-up coffee, glasses they all taste good
#6125: Holmes -> davepoobond
Holmes: Ay, happy saint patty’s dey to ye
davepoobond: yay
Holmes: has anyone seen me lucky charms?
davepoobond: no
davepoobond: they were shot
Holmes: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Ay me pot of gold! By stars the were all i got!
davepoobond: i ate that pot
Holmes: ay boy, that pot was made of liquor, gold, metal and marijuana, you be shittin on the toilet for the next 30 years!
davepoobond: and?
Holmes: Boy, not all thee pepto bismol in the world can cure the shittin’ you’ll be doin’!
davepoobond: so
Holmes: BOY IS THERE ANY COMMON CENT-SA IN YA! YOU’LL SHIT SO BADLY, YOUR BRAIN WILL TURN TA SHIT
davepoobond: i feel at ease when i do that
Holmes: You’ll beg fora constapation boy!
#6090: Holmes -> davepoobond
Holmes: <—bored
davepoobond: hum hum dee doh
Holmes: doh hum dee doh doh hum
davepoobond: dum doh doh dee doo dah
Holmes: do be do be dum
Holmes: doh dum dum de do dah gotta go doh de dum
davepoobond: dum dee doh doh, bye bye doh doh doh
Holmes: dum dum dum ur dum ::hits head:: DOH DOH DOH bye dum de do de do da day
#6089: davepoobond -> Holmes
davepoobond: i’m chewing on a garlic bread stick
davepoobond: pr?
Holmes: hand me some of that garlic bread
davepoobond: k
davepoobond: ::sticks two up your nose::
davepoobond: you can inhale it if you want
Holmes: ::in a nerdy voice:: is it me or did i fart and make it smell like garlic?
davepoobond: umm
davepoobond: sure
Holmes: i don’t swim in your toilet so don’t piss in my pool…
davepoobond: lol
Holmes: theres nothing left in my right brain and theres nothing right in my left brain…
davepoobond: lol
Holmes: i’m zzzzzzzzzzzz
davepoobond: i’m watching silverhawks
davepoobond: help me
Holmes: fine how shall i be of service
davepoobond: they shoot lasers out of their shoulders
Holmes: OMG
davepoobond: i ate like 30 bread sticks
Holmes: dave bond i think it’s time to admit you addicted to bread sticks…
davepoobond: no
davepoobond: i barely have bread sticks
Holmes: first step is admitting you have a problem…
davepoobond: brb, gotta go get the sesame seed bread sticks
davepoobond: bak
Holmes: dave, drop the bread sticks and slowly step away…
davepoobond: but but but
davepoobond: they have sesame seeds
Holmes: drop em NOW
davepoobond: no! mine!
Holmes: lsietn tim, i’ll take those bread sticks the hard way…
Holmes: wait sorry your name is dave
davepoobond: how? :::jams the rest of the sticks in my mouth and chews them::
Holmes: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ::has like a zillion bread stick wrappers behind him::
Holmes: i wanted them ::pouts::
davepoobond: ha! no! mine!
Holmes: you stupid breadaholics…
#5933: Holmes -> davepoobond
Holmes: hey
davepoobond: hi
Holmes: thats just plain wrong
davepoobond: what is
Holmes: i type three letters, “hey” and you only type 2 “hi” wtf is that!!!!!
davepoobond: sorry
davepoobond: hellomporoo
Holmes: good
Holmes: but not god enough for me
Holmes: good*…
davepoobond: well its gonna hafta do
Holmes: them’s fightin words
davepoobond: when i got into my hotmail account
davepoobond: i had 254 junk mails
Holmes: lmao
Holmes: holy shit
davepoobond: thats from 2 days of not checking every hour
davepoobond: every hour i get maybe 50 mails
Holmes: i don’t know whether to laugh or cry
davepoobond: and i got a couple of dictionary submissions from this guy that just copied and pasted everything that was on the submit page
davepoobond: what a loser
Holmes: yeah
davepoobond: beef – whats for dinner?
davepoobond: dun dun dun
Holmes: um isn’t that a rhetorical question……
Holmes: if i only knew what rhetorical meant
davepoobond: lol
Holmes: i’m like dead tired, like a zombie
davepoobond: thats my life
Holmes: i feel your pain
#5932: Holmes -> Sprivenx
Holmes is on a different sn from before he IMd Sprivenx in the previous IM.
—
Holmes: Poopimopi
Sprivenx: whos this>
Holmes: Wanker
Sprivenx: whos this?!
Holmes: I already told you, Wanker
Holmes: I believe you contacted my boss
Sprivenx: whos yer boss?
Holmes: I cannot tell you his name, but his America Online screen name is “Holmes”
Sprivenx: Holmes
Holmes: Exactly
Sprivenx: so?
Holmes: He has called upon his family members to threaten a certain production company
Sprivenx: yea?
Holmes: and in return, he has asked you for a favor
Sprivenx: i know but listen…
Sprivenx: he wnts over $60 in DVDS and im broke! im trying to save up money for myself! and i cant do that for a TV show!
Holmes: I understand
Holmes: Well then, I guess I will not being able to get my “Tom And Huck” film
Holmes: I know a great thing that will help us both out
Sprivenx: waht..?
Holmes: You can talk with our Prime Negotiator and Buisness dealsman and Professional Pimp, Ronny “Bobonny” Feefiefofonny…he’s on right now
Holmes: i’m afraid i must get off, his America Online Screen name is “davepoobond”
Holmes: Talk to him, he will settle it all”
———
he doesn’t, dave trys to IM him, but he doesn’t respond
#5931: KungPowJuggalo -> Holmes
KungPowJuggalo: oof!
KungPowJuggalo: i hit my head
Holmes: HEY it’s you!
Holmes: hjahahahahhahahah
Holmes: zhhsahahahahahhah
Holmes: jdshkzxzdl/zl;dsjldsdsah;
KungPowJuggalo: mwah!
KungPowJuggalo: oof! nyargh! i hit my knee on the dashboard
KungPowJuggalo: i dunno what a dashboard is, bit i hit my knee on it =/
Holmes: i hit my head on the pool table when i was playing internet pool
KungPowJuggalo: well i chocked on a chess piece while playing internet chess
Holmes: well i got an erection while loking at internet porn
Holmes: oops
Holmes: wrong IM
Holmes: i thought i was talking to my mom
KungPowJuggalo: wew! good
Holmes: anyways
Holmes: whats up
KungPowJuggalo: do you holmes dance
Holmes: yes
Holmes: when i’m happy
KungPowJuggalo: !!!!!
KungPowJuggalo: i made that up
KungPowJuggalo: i did the first holmes dance
KungPowJuggalo: in the 60’s
KungPowJuggalo: it goes like this:
KungPowJuggalo: *does the holmes dance*
KungPowJuggalo: see
Holmes: you copied me
KungPowJuggalo: notice how i maneuver my waist and wink at the end?
KungPowJuggalo: that is the real way
Holmes: i did mine in the 40’s it goes like this *does the HOLMES dance*
KungPowJuggalo: well, i had a diffrent dance before you were born and it goes like this: *does da holmes groove*
Holmes: Thats copywrited by sherlock holmes!
Holmes: he’ll sue you!
KungPowJuggalo: well… mr. sherlock wasnt born before the 40s
Holmes: how do you know
KungPowJuggalo: because i read the books
Holmes: and did i say 40’s? i mean 1740’s
Holmes: is when
Holmes: i created
KungPowJuggalo: i have the WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLE wangdoodle!
Holmes: the dance
KungPowJuggalo: no
KungPowJuggalo: i meant 1540
KungPowJuggalo: so, sorry
Holmes: of i mean 40
Holmes: BC
Holmes: SO HA
Holmes: 4000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 BC
Holmes: HAHHAHA
KungPowJuggalo: 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999x infitite BC
Holmes: uh ok
Holmes: anywas
KungPowJuggalo: poppycocks taste good
KungPowJuggalo: cock from a poppy
Holmes: too bad daves not around we coulda sent him this IM
KungPowJuggalo: yeah :-/
KungPowJuggalo: when will he be back?
Holmes: how do i know? i cant telegraph him…jeeze you sound like your in love with him
KungPowJuggalo: how do you know im not………
KungPowJuggalo: =-o
Holmes: :-X
KungPowJuggalo: :-*
Holmes: =-O
Holmes: :-X
Holmes: >:o
KungPowJuggalo: sorry
Holmes: my door doesn’t swing that way
KungPowJuggalo: smilys are oraterd
Holmes: yeah
Holmes: whatever
Holmes: when i grow up and my IQ ends up dieing, i want to grow up to be just like dave
KungPowJuggalo: no
KungPowJuggalo: i called it first
KungPowJuggalo: i hate ICQ
Holmes: fine
KungPowJuggalo: it sucks
KungPowJuggalo: AND
KungPowJuggalo: i get to be Nose
Holmes: uh
KungPowJuggalo: Elmo
KungPowJuggalo: stimpy
KungPowJuggalo: atc
KungPowJuggalo: atc
KungPowJuggalo: etc*
KungPowJuggalo: etc*
Holmes: damn dude you better be kidding, thos guys are wierd
KungPowJuggalo: i know that
KungPowJuggalo: BUT
KungPowJuggalo: i repeat………
KungPowJuggalo: BUT!
KungPowJuggalo: they have sex with dave
KungPowJuggalo: which gives me a bonus
Holmes: and you want in on the orgy?
KungPowJuggalo: and makes them cool
KungPowJuggalo: no
KungPowJuggalo: only me and dave
Holmes: dave is your god?
Holmes: WHAT A COINCDENCE! he is my god!
KungPowJuggalo: backwards
Holmes: heh
Holmes: dog
KungPowJuggalo: yes
KungPowJuggalo: he is my bitch
Holmes: well he’s my god
Holmes: so FUCK OFF
KungPowJuggalo: *slaps dave*
KungPowJuggalo: HE IS MY BITCH
Holmes: yh yeah fine you can have him
Holmes: i don’t want him
Holmes: he’s a lowdown good for nothing
KungPowJuggalo: soooooooooo
KungPowJuggalo: he is an assvirgin
Holmes: and you want to pop that cherry?
KungPowJuggalo: i want to pop his rectum
Holmes: eww
Holmes: <–getting mental images
KungPowJuggalo: 🙂
Holmes: don[‘t make a smiley face!
Holmes: it just makes the images worse!
Holmes: OMG what if your bitch…i mean dave…comes back?
KungPowJuggalo: he is back\
KungPowJuggalo: door
Holmes: he is back?
Holmes: relaly?
Holmes: really
Holmes: door?
Holmes: WHAT
Holmes: HEY!
Holmes: I’M TALKING TO YOU
KungPowJuggalo: sorry
Holmes: hey if dave never comes back, it’s no skin off my back
KungPowJuggalo: dave came all up in my lip
Holmes: thats nasty in more ways then i can count
Holmes: i’m going to go throw up now
KungPowJuggalo: 🙂
KungPowJuggalo: join the fun
Holmes: no thats ok
Holmes: i perfer the female type
KungPowJuggalo: Nose is letting dave and i stretch out all the nostrils in his body
KungPowJuggalo: …….with our penises
Holmes: what if i shot dave would you stop saying nasty shit!!!!!
KungPowJuggalo: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
KungPowJuggalo: that’s a ponder!
Holmes: what if i gave you a blow up doll with a 294 incher, would you shut up about dave then…oh and of course i shot him
KungPowJuggalo: ok
Holmes: good
Holmes: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!
KungPowJuggalo: ok
KungPowJuggalo: brb
KungPowJuggalo: okay back
KungPowJuggalo: i had to wipe david’s ass
KungPowJuggalo: (he has no wrist or hands)
KungPowJuggalo: he just punds on the keyboard
KungPowJuggalo: and has his mother and/or sister delete the propper letters
Holmes: uh huh
Holmes: well
Holmes: to tell a lie
Holmes: i mean
Holmes: the truth
Holmes: i put a virus on daves computer and in his brain
Holmes: it’s the heterosexual virus
Holmes: so
Holmes: he’s
Holmes: not
Holmes: gay
Holmes: anymore
KungPowJuggalo: well
KungPowJuggalo: i just hacked it outa him
Holmes: through the backdoor?
Holmes: damn i knew i shoulda plugged it up!
KungPowJuggalo: 🙂
KungPowJuggalo: use a cork skrew
Holmes: anyways
KungPowJuggalo: hmm
Holmes: no more dave,i’m sick of dave
KungPowJuggalo: why
Holmes: just am
KungPowJuggalo: lol
Holmes: before he got disconnected he always was iming me and shit
Holmes: it was ok but then it just got ridiculous
Holmes: so i stopped talking to him for a while
KungPowJuggalo: lol
KungPowJuggalo: what did he say to you
KungPowJuggalo: in the IMs
Holmes: always tried to start a stupid IM
Holmes: even when i wanted to talk seriously
Holmes: like about movies and stuff
Holmes: he stopped after a while though
Holmes: thats when he told me his mom was ready to take away his mouseball for a good while
KungPowJuggalo: oh
KungPowJuggalo: try to remember why she did
KungPowJuggalo: think HARD
Holmes: hell if i remebered, i would tell you but i seriously don’t
KungPowJuggalo: oh
KungPowJuggalo: any thing about school?
KungPowJuggalo: being on too much
Holmes: um i duno
Holmes: probablly that if anything
Holmes: being on too much
KungPowJuggalo: yeah
KungPowJuggalo: then why didnt the dumbass just get off the comp and settle it out
Holmes: i’m not at daves house so i wouldn’t know
KungPowJuggalo: go on AIM
Holmes: i cant the last time my bro caught me
Holmes: he uses aim
Holmes: not me
KungPowJuggalo: oh
KungPowJuggalo: why cant u use it?
Holmes: because it’s HIS
KungPowJuggalo: LOL
Holmes: anyways enough about squackle and dave, i almost forgot about it till you mentioned it
KungPowJuggalo: lol
KungPowJuggalo: asl
Holmes: 17/m/connecticut
KungPowJuggalo: oh
Holmes: what
KungPowJuggalo: your bro’s asl
Holmes: 20
KungPowJuggalo: lol
Holmes: well i gotta go…forget about dave, he;s just a regular joe schmoe!!!!!!!!!
KungPowJuggalo: lol
KungPowJuggalo: later
#5930: Sprivenx -> Holmes
Holmes:
ok basically this started with a friend online telling me she got a random IM from someone who asked her for help on a t.v. show. I told her to tell the guy who needed help my screen name…and so, here we are!!!!!!!
———
Sprivenx: hi
Sprivenx: somone said u can help me
Holmes: sure i’ll help, i’m the most helpful guy you’ll ever meet
Sprivenx: Invader Zim is going off the air and i need help so u can put it back on the air or somthing!
Holmes: ok
Holmes: i can do that
Sprivenx: how?
Sprivenx: Arts and Entertainment – Protest Invader Zim
Holmes: i have….lets say….connections
Sprivenx: asl
Holmes: 43/m/Arizona
Sprivenx: can u do that?
Holmes: my connections are universal…i’m a very…well known person
Holmes: in the secret respect
Sprivenx: Yaaay!
Sprivenx: so how can u put it back on the air?
Holmes: when i tell someone to jump, they ask “how high”
Holmes: well i’ll have my people go and meet the people of invader zim
Sprivenx: They were gonna make more episodes of IZ
Holmes: this conversation will involve the use of bloody knuckles and threats…
Sprivenx: But nick said No:(
Holmes: thats terrible
Sprivenx: that show made me who i am today!
Holmes: invader zim is almost like a classic
Sprivenx: you have to help me!
Holmes: wow
Holmes: really?
Sprivenx: yes!!
Sprivenx: [ grabs holems by the cloak and falls ]: plz help me and my friends!
Sprivenx: holms*
Sprivenx: holmes*
Holmes: some people would call you a looser or a stupid ass, but not me…i call you a hero
Sprivenx: stupid ass?
Sprivenx: why the hell why?
Holmes: i don’t know
Holmes: people are wierd todat
Holmes: today*
Sprivenx: i know
Holmes: i mean some people pretend that they are someone like me, big and important, over the internet…can you believe that
Holmes: anyways were jumping off topic
Sprivenx: so how long would this process take?
Holmes: oh not long, i mean if you threaten to cut off someone’s…”jewels” they tend to jump 10 feet higher, run 10 mph faster and do things 10 times better
Sprivenx: lol
Sprivenx: wow
Holmes: yeah
Holmes: trust me
Holmes: i would know
Holmes: but, in return you must do a favor for me when i call upon you again
Sprivenx: waht?
Holmes: nevermind
Holmes: when the time comes, we will discuss it
Sprivenx: Just tell me!
Holmes: well, in todays common world, when one does one a favor, they usually do a favor in return, if you understand my kabowlee’s
Sprivenx: like….waht?
Holmes: don’t worry about the word kabowlee’s, it’s just a fancy word us people use to sound big anfd important
Holmes: well, right now a favor i plan on asking is non-existant, that is why i will discuss it with you at a later time
Sprivenx: Ok…?
Holmes: i may be using words you do not understand yet
Holmes: so i will put it plain and simple
Sprivenx: im only 12
Holmes: oh
Holmes: i honestly couldn’t tell
Holmes: you sound so mature for your age
Sprivenx: i do?
Holmes: you maybe be 12 on the outside, but your brain tells me you have the intelligence of a 20 year old
Sprivenx: im usually like this when somthing like this happens
Holmes: i can understand your pain…invader zim is just…so….wghats the word you yougin’s use? “radical”?
Sprivenx: Huh?
Holmes: nevermind
Sprivenx: i never say “Radical”
Holmes: oh
Sprivenx: thats retarded
Holmes: i was informed…i mean told…that “radical” was the word of the day for the cool people…my mistake
Sprivenx: kinda
Sprivenx: but not fer me
Holmes: oh it’s ok, you don’t have to be cool if you don’t want to…kids fail to realize that being cool is a decision
Sprivenx: im not that kinda “Cool”
Holmes: ahh i see…
Holmes: when i was young i was considered cool
Sprivenx: so what r u gonna do now?
Holmes: well i’m going to call my…”family” member Bubba “Wanker” Jones and he will call Rex “Massacre” Mahoney and he will call Johnny “Hooligan” Hooligan and they will mastricate the ferdidions at the production center when they produce “Invader Zim”
Holmes: in simple terms
Holmes: we will fix the problem
Sprivenx: kewl
Sprivenx: so waht do u want from me?
Sprivenx: just tell me
Holmes: I don’t know yet, sonny
Sprivenx: your freakin me out here
Sprivenx: i dont know u
Holmes: listen kid, relax
Holmes: are you relaxed?
Holmes: RELAX!!!!!
Sprivenx: no not really
Sprivenx: sheesh calm down
Holmes: I’M ALWAYS CALM!!!!!!!
Sprivenx: it sure doesnt look it
Holmes: oh silly me i left the caps on
Holmes: you know cap lock
Sprivenx: YES
Sprivenx: I THINK SO
Sprivenx: i dunno maybe i can
Holmes: hey…don’t forget who your talking to…don’t EVER yell at me!
Sprivenx: i wasnt yelling
Holmes: oh
Sprivenx: SEE?
Holmes: i see
Holmes: i see you writing see
Sprivenx: IF I WERE YELLING I WOULD HAVE EXCLAMATION PTS
Sprivenx: but i dont
Holmes: oh an important listen in the typing science
Holmes: lesson*
Holmes: anyways
Holmes: I will contact you in due time to let you know the progress of this action
Holmes: in short terms
Holmes: bye, i’ll talk to you later
Sprivenx: bye
Holmes: sily me, we never say bye in our organization, we say kilimop, it’s a word used to say see you later
Holmes: so KILIMOP!
Sprivenx: Ok?
Sprivenx: Kilimop
Holmes: kilimop
Sprivenx: whatever that is
Holmes: listen kid i already told you, don’t make me repeat myself
Holmes: so kilimop
Sprivenx: ok….
Sprivenx: kilimop
#5929: KungPowJuggalo -> Holmes
KungPowJuggalo: would you like to try out for my profile?
Holmes: would I like to try out for your profile?
Holmes: is it that special?
Holmes: sure why not
Holmes: what do i have to do
KungPowJuggalo: ummmm
KungPowJuggalo: piss me off withoout clicking the warn button
Holmes: are you serious?
Holmes: thats to easy
KungPowJuggalo: yes
KungPowJuggalo: no it isnt
KungPowJuggalo: oh
KungPowJuggalo: and you cant use progs
KungPowJuggalo: ALL TALK
KungPowJuggalo: AND
Holmes: and…….
KungPowJuggalo: you cant use vowels or constenants, numbers, or any other character
KungPowJuggalo: no, jk
KungPowJuggalo: only talk
Holmes: …………………….
Holmes: ok
KungPowJuggalo: HURRY UP
Holmes: let me mentally prepare
KungPowJuggalo: ok
Holmes: Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
KungPowJuggalo: HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM my ass hole
Holmes: heh
Holmes: ugh it doesn’t feel right when someone WANTS me to annoy them
Holmes: it’s sorta…ironic…
KungPowJuggalo: oh
KungPowJuggalo: ummm
KungPowJuggalo: ugh
Holmes: you know like big shrimp ironic
Holmes: and stuff
KungPowJuggalo: you’re disqualified
KungPowJuggalo: for arguing
Holmes: what?
KungPowJuggalo: leave me alone
Holmes: that BS
Holmes: thats*
KungPowJuggalo: LEAVE ME ALONE
Holmes: bull shit *
Holmes: no
Holmes: i wanna be in your profile
KungPowJuggalo: fuck you
KungPowJuggalo: go away
Holmes: no
KungPowJuggalo: yes
KungPowJuggalo: bitch
Holmes: make me
Holmes: big bad man challenging me over the internet!
Holmes: i’m so scared!
KungPowJuggalo: shut up
KungPowJuggalo: before i hack you
KungPowJuggalo: before i do…
Holmes: your probablly some fat guy who can;’t get out of his chair
KungPowJuggalo: what is an IP?
Holmes: it’s internet penis
Holmes: or internet porn
Holmes: or internet pussy
KungPowJuggalo: ooooooooooooooooooooooooooh
KungPowJuggalo: LOOK AT MY JUGGZ!!!!!
KungPowJuggalo: damnit
KungPowJuggalo: stop IMing
KungPowJuggalo: me
KungPowJuggalo: now
Holmes: no
KungPowJuggalo: bitch
KungPowJuggalo: ass
Holmes: i win
KungPowJuggalo: no you dont
Holmes: because your annoyed
KungPowJuggalo: !!!!!1
KungPowJuggalo: =-o
KungPowJuggalo: congrats
KungPowJuggalo: dick shit
Holmes: >:o
KungPowJuggalo: lol
Holmes: yay
Holmes: -does the holmes dance-
Holmes: i’m so happy
KungPowJuggalo: do you put your left hend behind your back, crouch down, and walk around the place pretending you are lookign threw a magnifying glass?
Holmes: hmmm
Holmes: yes
Holmes: i am
Holmes: sherlock holmes
Holmes: after all
KungPowJuggalo: hmmmm
KungPowJuggalo: i never considered that
Holmes: see…
KungPowJuggalo: NO….. you dont
Holmes: i am smrat enuff 2 b in ur profile
KungPowJuggalo: yes
KungPowJuggalo: i am making it now
Holmes: i wanna see
KungPowJuggalo: ok ok
Holmes: if you put gayest person or something like that i’ll beat you with an ugly stick
KungPowJuggalo: ok ok
KungPowJuggalo: okay i did it
KungPowJuggalo: tell me what you think
Holmes: …….
KungPowJuggalo: what is it baby
Holmes: where is it jack ass
Holmes: …..
KungPowJuggalo: %n
KungPowJuggalo: poop shit
KungPowJuggalo: everybody can be famous
KungPowJuggalo: god damnit
Holmes: um
Holmes: yeah
Holmes: whatever
Holmes: just show me the profile
KungPowJuggalo: you wanna be famous eh?
KungPowJuggalo: click “get info”
Holmes: where
Holmes: your on AIM
Holmes: i can’t get your profile
KungPowJuggalo: then go on aim
Holmes: hold on
KungPowJuggalo: ok
KungPowJuggalo: whats your sn
Holmes: heh
KungPowJuggalo: what
Holmes: i am not the words stupidest person, it hurts when you say things like that 🙁
KungPowJuggalo: H O L lvl E S
KungPowJuggalo: is gay
KungPowJuggalo: lol
Holmes: you know what
Holmes: FUCK YOU
Holmes: who are you
Holmes: and why are you on my computer screen!!!!!!!!
KungPowJuggalo: lol
——————–
KungPowJuggalo’s Profile on AIM:
ANOTHER Happy hour with ‘TODAYS STUPIDEST PERSON! todays special, erm, i mean STUPID person, likes to get laid with pigs, has a red neck boyfriend and girlfriend, but isnt bi-sexual! give it up for ‘Holmes”
Holmes: i like to fuck pigs and meditate while smoking a joint 8 days a week!!!
KungPowJuggalo: well, you made it into my profile, you lucky son of a bitch!
Holmes: what’s a profile?
WAM, BAM! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?
#5928: Holmes -> LechuZaAa / Axiom -> Holmes / LKNIGHT -> Holmes
These people never heard of the Berenstein Bears…so it’s not as funny as it could have been if they did know…these three are either the same person, or they’re all friends…
————–
Holmes: Hello
LechuZaAa: ………..?
Holmes: I said…Hello…don’t act like you didn’t hear me
LechuZaAa: uh huh who r u
Holmes: I am from the BB family organization, they have instructed me that you have not payed there protection dues
LechuZaAa: hah or not
LechuZaAa: good bye
Holmes: wait
Holmes: This is johnny right?
LechuZaAa: noooooooooo
Holmes: damnit
Holmes: the BB is gonna kill me, i gotta find johnny!
LechuZaAa: yeap, you do that
Holmes: can you help? do you know a johnny?
LechuZaAa: no
Holmes: i’m dead….I’M DEAD! help me please!!! hide me!
LechuZaAa: right
LechuZaAa: uh huh
Holmes: i gotta find johnny before the BB finds me…
Holmes: there watching…every move i make,…
Holmes: as son as they find me i’ll be sleeping with the fishes
Holmes: and you don’t care?
LechuZaAa: why should i…… lol…… i don’t know you
Holmes: i see how it is…
Holmes: oh what a cruel world we live in
LechuZaAa: mhmmm
Holmes: the berenstein bear mafia is very deadly, have you heard of them?
LechuZaAa: no
Holmes: oh…
LechuZaAa: lol
Holmes: it’s not a laughing matter, man!
Holmes: my life is at stake
LechuZaAa: okay
Holmes: ok…what would you do if a mafia was after you?
LechuZaAa: sit there…….
Holmes: hmm good idea…then?
LechuZaAa: sleep
Holmes: …
LechuZaAa: so, would you like to tell me who you really are?
Holmes: hmm
Holmes: not really
LechuZaAa: uh huh
LechuZaAa: okay
LechuZaAa: good luck with that “bb” thing
LechuZaAa: bye
Holmes: thanks
Holmes: i’ll die happy…bye
————–
Axiom: sleep, it’ll make the mafia’s hunt easier
Holmes: i bet it will
Axiom: have fun
Holmes: oh i will have fun at dieing
Axiom: so who is this
Holmes: dieing is always fun
Holmes: a person
Axiom: good answer
Holmes: so vague…
Holmes: but so true…
Axiom: just some random guy
Holmes: yeah
————–
LKNIGHT: are you alright?
Holmes: am i alright? of course
Holmes: are you alright?
LKNIGHT: that’s good.
LKNIGHT: yeah
Holmes: thats good…were both alright
LKNIGHT: so, who are you , might i ask
LKNIGHT: yeah
Holmes: i’m just a person
LKNIGHT: my friend told me to say hi
LKNIGHT: so i did
Holmes: hmm
LKNIGHT: yeah
Holmes: anyways
Holmes: do you know the BB family organization?
LKNIGHT: no..should i? if so, enlighten me.
Holmes: the berenstein bear mafia, there…like…deadly
LKNIGHT: nice…
LKNIGHT: where did you find out about this?
Holmes: eh it’s not a big secret
LKNIGHT: well, no big surprise, i’m always the last to find out about things
LKNIGHT: so, who are you…
Holmes: some random guy
LKNIGHT: really… not that random
Holmes: very random
Holmes: i found your friend on member directory
Holmes: i was bored what can i say
LKNIGHT: i doubt that you are more random than me, but…
LKNIGHT: my friend… krispy?
Holmes: yeah
#5927: Holmes -> Katerina Asigiri
Holmes: Hi, I am a spokesperson for the DANO (Drug Abusing Necrophilliac Organization). We would like your support for our organization by letting us know if you have any Drug Using Necrophilliacs that need help and/or support.
Holmes: Take for example a member of our group known as Dan M. After several beverages, he would sneak into the nearest morgue and proceed doing the unnecesary to a dead body. But now Dan M. is fully restored and is now married to a lovely wife, and has 4 children.
Katerina Asigiri: You can leave me alone now.
Holmes: Sorry to have disturbed you but do you know any Drug Abusing Necrophilliacs?
Katerina Asigiri: NO Now go away!
Holmes: Do you know anyone who is secretly a Drug Abusing Necrophilliac?
Holmes: Or any friends who know of a Drug Abusing Necrophilliac? Your support is greatly appreciated.
Katerina Asigiri: Do you get paid to be stupidly annoying?
Holmes: Yes, infact I do.
Katerina Asigiri: Just making sure.
Holmes: I have only come asking for support and you shut me down with such negativity
Katerina Asigiri: I’m paid to do that.
Holmes: Can you at least…whats the word those young folk use all the time…?
Holmes: “chat”?
Katerina Asigiri: If you don’t bring up the supporting of something.. or whatever it was..
Holmes: Alright, my work will be excluded from the conversation…
Holmes: …so…yeah…
#5926: Holmes -> FireRaze
Holmes: it’s time for the talk…the birds and the theorys…
FireRaze: ((brb))
Holmes: ((k))
Holmes: we could go into the birds and the bee’s but for right now we’ll just do the birds and the
Holmes: theorys…
FireRaze: ((back))
Holmes: a “bird” is a crazy person and a theory is an idea…see when a “bird” loves a theory, they
FireRaze: Bees?
Holmes: ((wb))
FireRaze: Ah just get on wit it
FireRaze: ((::lagging really really bad::))
Holmes: have to prove there love…
Holmes: ((ugh i hate lag))
Holmes: so the bird proposes to the theory and they get married and have lotsa crazy theories
Holmes: together and they live happily and crazily ever after
FireRaze: ahhhhhhh
FireRaze: ::is very confused but doesnt show it::
Holmes: don’t worry, you’ll grow up to be just like me…
FireRaze: ::drops over,fainting::
Holmes: …dangit that ALWAYS happens…
Holmes: ::grabs a bucket of worms and tosses it onto him::
Holmes: ::looks back at the bucket of water he was suppose to throw on him and realizes he made a
Holmes: mistake::
FireRaze: Gah!::holds his hands out and blasts the worms::
Holmes: gee how did…those get there,…
Holmes: heh…heh…
SuperMike: ((what do u do here>is it a supermarket?)
Holmes: ::looks around nervously::
Holmes: ((yes))
Fire: I wont be like you,your not Saiyajin
Holmes: true…
Fire: :swings his tail around::
Holmes: did i ever tell you about the little engine that could story?
Fire: ::shakes his head no::
Holmes: there once was a little engine that could and he was chugging through the forest and even
Holmes: chugging in the bar…
Holmes: well anyways he once needed to climb up a hill
Holmes: but he was on the paxil pill that prevents you from having social anxiety disorder
Holmes: and that made him dizzy considering he was drinking alcohol and taking medicine and drugs are BAD
Holmes: and he was all weary about life and the engineer was like: “You Mother Fuckin engine, move
Holmes: your lazy ass over that hill or i’m going to Pawn you at the pawn shop!” and the engine was
Holmes: like: “Whatever dumbass” and so he tried to pull himself up that hill
Holmes: but he just couldn’t do it…
Holmes: he kept saying I think I can I think I can but STILL no, until the constructor told him that
Holmes: there was alcohol on the top of the hill, thats when the engine ZOOMED up the hill…
Holmes: so remeber, when your down in the dumps, just think of alcohol…oh yeah and don’t do drugs
Holmes: the end
Holmes: did you learn your lesson little boy?
FireRaze: ::had got his gameboy out in the meantime and started playing pokemon::
FireRaze: huh?what were you saying?
Holmes: what is this Pokemon? sounds like a Gay jamacan porno movie…
Holmes: never mind…
FireRaze: jamacan?
Holmes: you know, those guys who talk all funny and say Mon a lot
Holmes: like Yo Mon or chill out mon
Holmes: or even Poke a mon…
FireRaze: oh……..uh…..Ive only been to chikyuu-sei a couple times
Holmes: when i was your age i had to walk 15 miles to china and then walk back
Holmes: while these days you just get to go places
FireRaze: Yeah,I can just shunken-eido
Holmes: don’t talk to me in that lingo boy, i don’t want you talkin about my momma
FireRaze: I can talk about your momma all I want to
Holmes: well you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to spank you with cheese
FireRaze: Ill lay the smackdown on you!
Holmes: you young whipper snapper you wouldn’t touch an elderly citizen
FireRaze: Wanna bet,and Ill do it in my Oozaru form so I cant control mysef
Holmes: your lucky i don’t have my fighting teeth and legs on, or i would get elderly on your ass
FireRaze: ((how old is he?))
Holmes: ((18 he’s just being idiotic))
Holmes: so sonny did i ever tell you about how i had to walk 15 miles to my bathroom
FireRaze: No!!!!
FireRaze: erck….no
Holmes: well see this one time…
Holmes: i really had to go and dad was like piss in your pants cause we don’t have enough water to
Holmes: flush the toilet
Holmes: infact the toilet was our bathtub, computer and our lunch table
Holmes: the end
Holmes: did you learn a lesson from that story, sonny?
FireRaze: Never eat,pee,and type in your toilet
Holmes: hey just because you got all this high tech mumbo jumbo doesn’t mean you can’t use the old
Holmes: way of doing things
Holmes: my toilet is my computer, wanna se?
FireRaze: ((Ok,I might get kicked off,and I wont be coming back,so hope my printer works))
FireRaze: No,not really
FireRaze: ((wish me luck!))
Holmes: ((luck))
FireRaze: ((good luck!))
Holmes: ((good luck!))
#5925: SeniorFriend -> Holmes
SeniorFriend: nice s n lol
Holmes: thanks
Holmes: who is this?
SeniorFriend: nice s n lol
Holmes: …..
SeniorFriend: Thank you for your responses. They have been anonymously logged in the AI (Artifical Intelligence) response database. You can send one more response to be recorded. These are questions from promotion of a Christian website. So, be nice in your response. 🙂 For more information visit : InstantPromoter
Holmes: oh it’s a christian web site. Ok, well sorry i’ll miss church tommorow, i’ll be busy practicing witchcraft and becoming homosexual