Q: What is a ghoul’s favorite holiday song?
A: The Holly and the Poison Ivy.
Tag Archives: holiday stuff
Joke #13721
Q: What is the army’s favorite plant?
A: Missile toe.
Joke #13720
Q: Where do reindeer go to dance?
A: Christmas balls.
Joke #13719
Q: What would you call Frosty the Snowman in May?
A: A puddle!
Joke #13717
Q: What is Count Dracula’s favorite time of the year?
A: The fright before Christmas.
Joke #13268
“Did you hear about the moron who couldn’t get his stocking to hang over the fireplace on Christmas Eve?”
“No. What did he do?”
“He finally took it off his foot.”
Joke #13265
Did you hear about the moron who gave his snowman suntan lotion for Christmas?
Joke #13244
I think the kid next door is going to grow up to be a gangster. For Christmas, he asked Santa Claus for a violin case, a shoulder holster and a ton of cement.
Joke #13233
LAWYER: “Where were you on the night of December 24th?”
DEFENDANT: “Up at the North Pole helping Santa Claus.”
Joke #13219
I know a doctor who’s so cheap, every time he goes home for Christmas he charges his parents for a house call.
Joke #13183
My older sister is a real dog. Last Christmas Santa left a flea collar in her stocking.
Joke #13039
What rotten luck I have! Would you believe it? My birthday is April 1st.
Joke #12989
Q: What has the shortest life span in the world?
A: New Year’s resolutions. They’re born before midnight and dead and forgotten by the next day.
Joke #12986
DOCTOR FRANKENSTEIN: “Tell me, Igor, where is the monster?”
IGOR: “He went to town to mail off 20 Father’s Day cards.”
Joke #12878
Did you hear about the judge who got so tipsy at a Halloween party, he couldn’t pick the good guise from the bad guise?