Written in the profile field “Occupation:”
“shoveling elephant poop for the circus across the street”
– from the internet
Tag Archives: elephant
Quote #15503
“my chick snores like an elephant seal”
– from the Radio
Quote #13965
“If you want an intelligent pet elephants may be the smartest of all pets”
– sisterpoobond
Quote #13458
“how do you eat an elephant? one bite at a time…”
– Dr. OldNBald
Joke #13337
Q: Why did the elephant decide not to move?
A: Because he couldn’t lift his trunk.
Joke #13323
Q: Why did the elephant eat a 100 watt light bulb?
A: He wanted a light lunch.
Joke #12344
Did you hear about the nervous hitman whose aim was so bad, he couldn’t rub out an elephant with a machine gun at ten paces?
Joke #12303
JUDGE: “Mr. Fenton you were arrested for stealing an elephant. Tell me, why did you steal an elephant?”
MR. FENTON: “My dad once told me, ‘Son, if you’re goin’ to steal, steal big.'”
Short Poem Time
Hickory dickory dock,
The elephant ran up the clock.
The clock is being repaired.
Joke #11461
Q: What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
A: Nothing, he just gave it a little wine.
Joke #11396
Molly: Did you know that an elephant never forgets?
Steven: Big deal! What has he got to remember?
Joke #11065
Q: What do an elephant’s raised tail and a canary in a coal mine have in common?
A: They both warn of the approach of dangerous gases.
Joke #11049
Q: What’s worse, the fart from a rhinoceros or from a bull elephant?
A: No one has survived either to tell the tale.
Joke #11043
Q: What’s the difference between an elephant’s fart and a politician’s speech?
A: One’s a smelly load of hot air, and the other’s a discharge from a large mammal.
Joke #10718
Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?
A: Because it was the chicken’s day off.
–
Another version of this joke:
Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?
A: Because the chicken retired.
–
Another version of this joke:
Q: Why did the hippo cross the road?
A: Because it was the chicken’s day off.