For an assignment, davepoobond was supposed to create an “advertising tagline” for an image similar to the following.
“Morning runs don’t have to be on the toilet.”
– davepoobond
Tag Archives: dog
Newspaper Article
Fifi Vanderbold, the fast and slow heiress, has filed suit against her neighbor, Percy McNutt, the former sexy and penis of Harvard, class of ’38, now in the lion business. Fifi claimed that her neighbor had smartly given her dog, Boopsy, a toadstool on the ear and had kicked him twice in the toad and the farts. Mr. McNutt, when asked to comment said “Arrrrgh! This is a writing lie. I only slapped him on the heart.”
Bad Submission #20296
Submitted through the Dictionary submission form.
–
word = dog
undefined_word = (not defining an undefined word)
word_form = dont know
other_word_form = blaggg
definition = A acronim for dog
example = i am a dog
etc = yo foo’s!
Foo Foo Barks
Joke #18747
Q: What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A: After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Joke #18725
As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling toward a female pedestrian.
She seemed oblivious, so I hit my horn to get her attention. She looked up just in time to jump out of the way of the truck’s path, and the vehicle bumped harmlessly into the curb and stopped.
I rushed to the woman’s side to see if she was all right.
“I’m fine,” she assured me, “but if that dog hadn’t honked…”
Joke #18619
Our local paper runs a popular column called “10 Questions” that spotlights people who live in our community.
In addition to the usual inquiries about occupation and age, people are asked the questions that give a snapshot look of their personalities.
Recently one woman was asked, “What’s the ‘strangest’ thing you ever bought?”
She answered, “Dog toothpaste.”
Next question, “What is the ‘most common’ thing people say to you?”
Her answer: “Where did you get such white teeth?”
Joke #18585
A dog followed his master to school. His owner was a fourth grader at a public elementary school.
However, when the bell rang, the dog sidled inside the building and made it all the way to the child’s classroom before a teacher noticed and shooed him outside, closing the door behind him. The dog sat down, whimpered and stared at the closed doors.
Then God appeared beside the dog, patted his head, and said, “Don’t feel bad fella’…they won’t let ME in either.”
Joke #18576
“Nice dog. What’s its name?” I asked my friend’s 10-year old son.
“Bob,” he said.
“And what’s your cat’s name?”
“Bob.”
“Well, how do you keep them straight?” I asked.
“Well, one is Bob Cat and the other is Bob Barker,” the boy answered.
“Go ahead and tell him your rabbit’s name,” his father suggested.
The kid smiled and said… “Dennis Hopper.”
Joke #18567
In an upscale pet-supply store, a customer wanted to buy a red sweater for her dog. The clerk suggested that she bring her dog in for a proper fit.
“Oh, no, I can’t do that!” the lady said. “See, the sweater is going to be a surprise!”
Joke #18503
Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster and a dog?
A: A cocka-poodle-doo!
Joke #18337
Q: Why are poisonous trees more dangerous than guard dogs?
A: Their bark is worse than their bite.
Joke #18244
Q: What would you get if you crossed a St. Bernard with a zombie?
A: A dog that buries itself.
Joke #18109
Q: What do good doctors and obedient dogs have in common?
A: They both know how to heal (heel).
Joke #18108
Q: Why did one witch doctor eat the other witch doctor?
A: Because it’s a doc-eat-doc (dog-eat-dog) world.