davepoobond: hot in. dun dunnn…………hot in HEEERRRREEEE
Automatic Man: ?
davepoobond: <>?
davepoobond: >^<
davepoobond: <^>
davepoobond: ^^>><<^^
davepoobond: ^^>><<>><<^^
Automatic Man: wtf?
davepoobond: >:o
Automatic Man: wtf are you doing
davepoobond: :-X
Automatic Man: how come i see ur messeges in a window, then i send em in a different 1?
davepoobond: me no no
davepoobond: 😛
davepoobond: heyyy!!!
zackrat123: hey
davepoobond: been a while
zackrat123: who is this?
zackrat123: ya
davepoobond: you don’t remember?
zackrat123: nope
davepoobond: i’m your cousin, Richard
zackrat123: o hi richard
davepoobond: hi
zackrat123: i havent seen u in like 5 years
davepoobond: yeah i know
davepoobond: sucks don’t it
zackrat123: ya
davepoobond: so how’s life been treatin’ ya
zackrat123 signed off at 4:56:46 PM.
zackrat123 signed on at 4:56:52 PM.
davepoobond: how’s life been treatin’ ya
zackrat123: good
zackrat123: im jkin i no ur not my cousin richard i dont even have a cousin richard
davepoobond: =-O
davepoobond: you’ve been fuckin around with me
zackrat123: ya
davepoobond: here i am in my identity crisis
davepoobond: trying to find out who i am
davepoobond: and you fuck around with me
zackrat123: hehehe
davepoobond: by the way, hyundai makes civics
zackrat123: o
zackrat123: no honda civic
davepoobond: hyundai civic, you jackass
davepoobond: don’t fall in
zackrat123: dont fall in wat
davepoobond: your own shit
davepoobond: cause you’re just full of it
zackrat123: o
zackrat123: ok
zackrat123: but search for honda civic and it will show it
davepoobond: unh hunh..
davepoobond: tell me other funny jokes
zackrat123 wants to directly connect.
zackrat123: accept
zackrat123 is now directly connected.
davepoobond: dood
zackrat123: (shows a picture of a Honda civic)
zackrat123: honda civic
zackrat123: but y do u want to know
davepoobond: no reason
davepoobond: mwah
davepoobond: mwahahahah
davepoobond: nayway1@3!
zackrat123 direct connection is closed.
zackrat123: ok
davepoobond: have you been to my website
zackrat123: nope
davepoobond: g-g-g-g-g-g-go
zackrat123: wat is it
davepoobond: a humor site
zackrat123: wats the link
davepoobond: www.squackle.com
zackrat123: eeewwwwww
davepoobond: ?
zackrat123: i went to it
davepoobond: ok
davepoobond: what’s so ewwww about it
zackrat123: i didnt go to it but i dont want to
davepoobond: ok!
davepoobond: Why do you think you think that i think what?
zackrat123: ?
zackrat123 signed off at 5:07:41 PM.
davepoobond: boy i can’t wait till fizikz tomorrow
PhycoPuppie: ok
PhycoPuppie signed off.
davepoobond: heh i just thought of something
davepoobond: i should make a porno where all the hot chicks aren’t the ones getting the action
davepoobond: but all these ugly chicks are
davepoobond: it’ll mess with their minds
Para: Yeah!
Para: Women would buy that.
Para: Normal women with no makeup and stuff getting all the hunks.
davepoobond: yeah
davepoobond: “if only”
davepoobond: or “i want to be her”
Para: Yeah.
davepoobond: then there’s a sudden surge in ugly women becoming porn actresses
Para: And give it an actual plot.
Para: Heh.
davepoobond: have an actual plot and then no one would buy it
davepoobond: cause it has too many things that aren’t appealing
Para: Actually no. Women like plots.
davepoobond: heh
Para: Women don’t like hardcore.
Para: We like softcore.
Para: That’s why romance novels sell.
Para: They are smut just like the movies.
Para: They just have a plot.
davepoobond: interesting
davepoobond: an untapped market
Para: Pretty much.
Para: ::jingles a baggy of teeth at him::
davepoobond: woowwee
Para: Heh
davepoobond: that was unexpected to see ya IM me
Para: Got my wisdom teeth removed.
Para: Heh
davepoobond: that’s funny
davepoobond: is your mouth all numb
Para: Nah, had em removed friday.
Para: Now I’m just in pain. 😀
davepoobond: heh
davepoobond: how many did you have?
Para: 4
davepoobond: i had 6
davepoobond: 4 on the top 2 on the bottom
davepoobond: stupid doctor made the joke saying i have extra wisdom
davepoobond: i wonder how many times a day those nurses have to hear that jackass say that same joke
Para: Lol, now that sucks.
Para: Mine were just huge.
Para: The bottom ones were twice as large as the top.
davepoobond: interesting
Para: Looks like you could have pulled em out of a small cow.
Para: Had to cut of part of my jaw bone to get one out.
davepoobond: ow
Para: It had pinched some bone.
Para: I have the jaw bone too. 😀
Para: Did you keep yours?
davepoobond: i dont know
davepoobond: i dont think they let me keep them
davepoobond: or my mom didn’t want to
davepoobond: something like that
davepoobond: they said the 2nd set at the top just crumbled when they took them out
davepoobond: i think i actually lost them
Para: Actually they aren’t supposed to let you keep them.
Para: They are a biohazard.
davepoobond: then i probably don’t have them
Para: I’m persistant though.
davepoobond: or never did
Para: Plus they usually have to cut impacted ones up to get them out.
Para: So I have 2 teeth in 5 different pieces.
Para: But I can glue em back.
davepoobond: heh
davepoobond: never know when you’ll need biohazard material, i guess
Para: Lol, they aren’t anymore.
Para: I washed em.
Para: I can understand why they would be.
davepoobond: people might eat them, they can’t take the chance
Para: It takes awhile to clean them, it would take them too long to clean them… so they would have to hand them to you bloody and with gum tissue hanging off.
Para: So I had a little gruesome bloody baggy off teeth for a bit.
Para: Creeped the hell out of my mom.
Para: I’m standing over the bathroom sink, about 4 hours after the surgery, a little dopey… and using a nail brush to scrap it all off.
Para: Which it didn’t work.
Para: So I had to boil them.
Para: She refused to come into the kitchen
davepoobond: ew
Para: Lol
Para: What, they are just teeth.
davepoobond: well you’re boiling them and scraping them
Para: Had to, rather do that then have rotten human flesh smell.
davepoobond: you could’ve always sucked it all off
Para: Can’t suck… can’t use a straw for a week.
davepoobond: meh
Para: Lol
Para: I don’t know why that seems to freak people out.
davepoobond: it doesn’t really
davepoobond: its just kind of nasty
Para: *shrugs*
Para: I had little options
davepoobond: the thought of seeing gum hanging off teeth dripping with blood
davepoobond: kind of unsettling
davepoobond: do you happen to have the latest Sponge album?
manceman: wtf is Sponge ?
davepoobond: sponge is a band
davepoobond: with one good song
davepoobond: they’re grunge
manceman: o gotcha
davepoobond: they’re amazingggg
manceman: ill bet
davepoobond: not really
davepoobond: they do have a good song though
manceman: do you think the test tomorrow is going to be hard?
davepoobond: maybe maybe not
manceman: thats not very helpful
davepoobond: would it have been if i told you either way
davepoobond: what would you do differently had i told you what i really thought
davepoobond: had i cared in the first place
manceman: i do not know
davepoobond: you’ll just get your 90% as always
davepoobond: and i’ll get my 50 or 79%
manceman: haha
manceman: i got a b on the last one
manceman: whats PhycoPuppie going to get?
davepoobond: 490
manceman: haha
davepoobond: go eat a triangle
manceman: what?
davepoobond: triangle stew is gud 4 u
manceman: wtf
davepoobond: :-$
davepoobond: poo
YoursTruly: lol long time
davepoobond: motown legends are the coolest
davepoobond: yeah…
YoursTruly: really? what are they about?
davepoobond: uhh
davepoobond: motown is a company
davepoobond: and they just put legends on the end of their names
davepoobond: for their most popular artists
davepoobond: so they can put cds out for them
davepoobond: of all their best songs
davepoobond: and they’re all black artists
YoursTruly: ohhhh, nice
YoursTruly: so whatcha doin?
davepoobond: not much
davepoobond: you
YoursTruly: being bored, i gave up on chat room rpg now i just play real rpgs………… so boring
davepoobond: heh
davepoobond: video game rpgs are better
davepoobond: it takes less creativity
YoursTruly: lol yeah i guess, plus there are no gay neebies on video games
davepoobond: that too
Automatic Man messaged me what I had written on Squackle as an update…
–
Automatic Man: Yesterday, I was driving on a freeway back from KFC, with a large (the really big one) box of Popcorn Chicken (mmh mmh do I love Popcorn Chicken) when all of a sudden something brown flew through the air and then smashed into my windwhield and made two huge holes in it. Glass flew everywhere, and I don’t know what the hell it was or whether someone threw it or if it got thrown up by another car’s tires. If it was someone throwing it, I want to kill them, because now I have to replace the windshield of the Turbo Diesel Ground Force (the name of my car).
Automatic Man: ahahahaaha
Automatic Man: it was me!
davepoobond: wtf?
davepoobond: what are you talkin about
davepoobond: you didn’t throw that shit
Automatic Man: shhh! yes i did
davepoobond: what was it then
Automatic Man: a big brown thing, possibly a rock
davepoobond: unh hunh..
Automatic Man: its true
davepoobond: why aren’t you more specific
Automatic Man: cuz i was high at the time
Automatic Man: because i got high
Automatic Man: becuase i got high
davepoobond: i saw you right after i came into the school parking lot, jackass
Auto response from Automatic Man: stupid research paper! brb
Automatic Man: ya i drive and run just that fast
Automatic Man: mmm english muffin
Automatic Man: >:o
davepoobond: english muffins are good toasted
davepoobond: you know what else is good toasted?
davepoobond: the En Vogue CD “funky DIVAS”
Automatic Man: lol
Automatic Man: i had a toasted english muffin with yogurt butter on it (its like butter, but made from yogurt so its not as bad for you)
davepoobond: yeah i have that yogurt butter crap too
davepoobond: its good
davepoobond: better than substitute shit
Automatic Man: brummel and brown baby
davepoobond: yeahhh!
davepoobond: me too
davepoobond: the big ol’ tubs
Automatic Man: its good shit
Automatic Man: i have a small 1
davepoobond: we used to get small ones
Automatic Man: but we dont use it that much
davepoobond: they stopped sellin them small or something
davepoobond: there’s these tubs
davepoobond: that last about a month or something
Automatic Man: hmmm
davepoobond: around here anyway
Automatic Man: like a regular size butter 1? or the gigantic dave size TUBs?
davepoobond: you know the “i can’t believe its not butter” tubs
davepoobond: that size
Automatic Man: ya
Automatic Man: thats wut i have
Automatic Man: bout 3 inches in diamter
davepoobond: its a pound
Automatic Man: hmm
Automatic Man: i dunno
davepoobond: it says what it weighs on there
Automatic Man: but were having too deep a conversation about butter
davepoobond: its not butter
davepoobond: its 35% veggie oil
Automatic Man: whatever the hell it is
davepoobond: 25% yogurt
davepoobond: and the rest is butter i guess
Automatic Man: lol
davepoobond: do you know who En Vogue is
Automatic Man: singer?
davepoobond: no
davepoobond: its a group
davepoobond: of 4 black females
Automatic Man: oh
Automatic Man: o well
davepoobond: there’s a movie named “duets”
davepoobond: and i have the soundtrack for some reason
davepoobond: it has the guy from big fat liar that was colored blue
davepoobond: i dont know his name
Automatic Man: o
davepoobond: did you finish your research paper
Automatic Man: not yet
Automatic Man: almost
davepoobond: i’ve got 8 pgs
davepoobond: 8 full pgs
Automatic Man: oh
Automatic Man: well
Automatic Man: see right now im using wordpad cuz this POS comp doesnt have word so i have to move it to my good comp after i finish so i can actually break it down into PAGES
davepoobond: heh
davepoobond: the spice girls are kinda funny
Auto response from Automatic Man: id like to talk, but im on the home stretch of my research paper, and i wanna finish soon
davepoobond: are you seriously gonna use it
stimpyismyname: yes
davepoobond: ok…
stimpyismyname: oh…
stimpyismyname: seriously?
stimpyismyname signed off at 9:28 PM
stimpyismyname: i only need a page and a hlaf
stimpyismyname: hlafffff
stimpyismyname signed off at 9:10 PM.
davepoobond: i ate 2 footlongs from subway today
manceman: shit man’
davepoobond: 😉
manceman: haha
davepoobond: i really did though
davepoobond: i was really hungry
manceman: haha
manceman: i guessed
davepoobond: i dont usually eat 2 footlongs
davepoobond: only thing i had today was pop tarts and 2 footies
manceman: haha
manceman: nice
davepoobond: i ate 2 footlong sandwiches from subway
davepoobond: today
davepoobond: isn’t that funny
Automatic Man: wow
Automatic Man: so thats y u were going there
davepoobond: when did you see me
Automatic Man: after school
Automatic Man: a little after
davepoobond: were you at the intersection
Automatic Man: ya
davepoobond: there was a coupon that i could get 3 footlongs for 10.99
Automatic Man: shit
davepoobond: so i thought what the hell, i’ll use it. i’m hungry anyway
Automatic Man: i had a footlong sub today
davepoobond: i have a bunch of coupons
davepoobond: for subway
davepoobond: i’ll give you some
Automatic Man: cool
davepoobond: they expire the 16th
Automatic Man: it was soo good, but it costeded me 9 dollars
davepoobond: 3 footlongs at reg. price is 12.99 or whatever
davepoobond: it was like 11 after
davepoobond: so i only saved a buck
davepoobond: which is kind of a rip off for a coupon
Automatic Man: but that buck will get you 100/164ths of a gallon of gas
davepoobond: i guess
davepoobond: well
davepoobond: diesel costs 1.89
davepoobond: right now
Automatic Man: o it went up
davepoobond: no, it never changed
davepoobond: it was like that for the past few months
Automatic Man: theres a cheap gas station in pas that has diesel for like 165
davepoobond: you can get it for less in cheaper areas
davepoobond: yeah, its just price gouging
Automatic Man: yep
davepoobond: its a more affluent area, so people will pay more
Automatic Man: you dont get gas at the crest, do you?
davepoobond: no
davepoobond: no diesel there
Automatic Man: hey dave, dont tread on me
davepoobond: i get it at chevron
Automatic Man: o
davepoobond: its either that, or at the union at alta canyada
davepoobond: and its the same damn price
davepoobond: i like chevron better anyway
Automatic Man: o
Automatic Man: its all about the union
davepoobond: it has techron
davepoobond: which keeps the motor clean
davepoobond: er
Automatic Man: oh dave, thats a bunch of shit
Automatic Man: they do that to attract people who dont know shit about cars (like yourself)
davepoobond: what the hell does it do then
Automatic Man: techron?
davepoobond: yeah
Automatic Man: well first, you gotta really prove that they add sumthin else to the GAS
Automatic Man: im not sure if the gas even has it, let alone the diesel
Automatic Man: but it might
Automatic Man: i dunno
davepoobond: if it didn’t have it they wouldn’t advertise it
davepoobond: its false advertising and that’s illegal
davepoobond: so they add something
Automatic Man: but can YOU prove that it really cleans out carbon deposits in the engine?
davepoobond: probably not, but nor do i care that much, because i’m still gonna go to chevron which might have something or might not instead of going somewhere that doesn’t have anything advertised as being added into it
davepoobond: namely union
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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This week we become overly insensitive assholes (moreso than usual? Or maybe not at all!) and lambast a girl over the 70+ e-mails that she has sent out in the past 6 months regarding shift covers. It is truly an art form in itself when you have TO GUILT TRIP YOUR WHOLE DEPARTMENT INTO COVERING SHIFTS FOR YOU. Not to mention it is your “second” job which only gives you at most 4 to 8 hours a week!
–
–
This is the real cancer we were talking about, obviously:
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Summer movies are in full swing, and this time we take a look at Prometheus as well as the upcoming summer schedule of movies. Its a big year for super heroes but not much else to get excited about.
WARNING: THERE ARE SOME PROMETHEUS SPOILERS! You can skip to about a third of the way through and skip all the Prometheus stuff if you care.
–
Prometheus is a film that raises more questions than answers, like:Â “Why would you kill Charlize Theron?” and “Why didn’t we see that scene with Charlize getting it up the butt from the big black dude?”
And there’s also all that hullabaloo about the origins of man and the beginnings of the Xenomorphs, but that’s all secondary.
Inception noise? Meet your match: PROMETHEUS NOISE!
–
Adam Sandler is intentionally making shitty movies. Its the only explanation. He just needs to stick with family comedies and dramatic movies, apparently.
–
This summer has a list of movies it wants to murder, and its gotten a few of them already:
Battleship: Sunk
The Dictator: Assassinated
Dark Shadows: Black Eye
Chernobyl Diaries: Nuked
Prometheus: Hospitalized (In the baby ward)
That’s My Boy: Murdered
Rock of Ages: Murdered
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter: Pending Assassination
–
Brave is another one of those Pixar movies that I’ll probably just hate. I hate more Pixar movies than I do like them, apparently.
–
Owen Wilson:Â I don’t like his voice, and I don’t like his face.
–
Finding Nemo had the worst characters of any Pixar movie ever.
–
The Good Dinosaur is probably just The Good Shepherd but with real dinosaurs, not people you could call dinosaurs.
Its actually worse than that. It has Lil’ Wayne in it.
–
Pixar has an impressively boring list of upcoming movies.
–
Magic Mike has Channing Tatum in it. Like, OH EM GEE.
Directed by Steven Soderbergh, no less.
–
How does Tyler Perry keep making movies? He’s like Adam Sandler but successful.
–
Katy Perry: Part of Me: Pending Stage Collapse
Savages: Dead on Arrival
Step Up Revolution: Someone Will Step Down (In the government. Get it? Revolution? Government? Step Down?)
The Watch: Legally murdered. Maybe.
Total Recall: Unfortunate Death Due to Lack of References. Please resubmit an application.
Expendables 2: Expendable (get it?)
ParaNorman: Already Dead
Resident Evil: Retribution: Been Dead
Sean Bean: Died 20+ times. Save Sean Bean!
–
That’s it for this week, folks. Hope you like our rudimentary coverage of what’s to come for this summer in the movies.
If you want to be on the Squacklecast, let us know! We can schedule you for an interview and you can hang out with us for an hour.