Q: What happens to illegally parked frogs?
A: They get toad away.
Tag Archives: car
Confidence Is…
What is confidence, you want to know? Well…confidence is:
– Going to the race track for the first time in your life and betting every penny you have on a 50 to 1 shot.
– Walking through Central Park at night and carrying your life savings in your wallet.
– Spending all your savings on a huge luxury car because you’re the gas shortage won’t last.
– Telling a mugger armed with a gun that you won’t give him your money and he can’t make you.
– Mailing the only copy of a book it took you five years to write to a publisher without putting a return address on the envelope.
– Having an argument with the Heavyweight Boxing Champion of the World and daring him to lay a hand on you.
Joke #11933
Scientists say they have developed a car that can run on water. The only catch is, the water has to come from the Gulf of Mexico.
– Jay Leno
Joke #11363
Police officers in Brockton, Massachusetts received a call regarding an injured animal lying on a street corner.
When they arrived at the scene they found a dog that had been hit by a car.
But according to the local newspaper, the police report stated that the dog was okay and “refused medical treatment.”
Joke #11361
A blonde is taking the driving portion of her driver’s license exam. She handles most of the maneuvers quite well.
She has a little trouble parallel parking, however, and winds up a couple of feet from the curb.
“Could you get a little closer?” the examiner asks.
The blonde then unbuckles her seat belt and slides over toward the examiner.
“Now what?”
Joke #11235
Q: What’s a car thief’s favorite movie?
A: Barefoot in the Parking Lot.
Joke #11212
Q: What’s the last thing that goes through a bug’s mind when he hits a windshield?
A: His tail.
Joke #11209
Q: What happened to the firefly before he hit the windshield?
A: His life flashed before his eyes.
cestlop
cestlop – v. to get shot in the face by a police officer because you were speeding
midifleur
midifleur – v. to beat a 1 year old baby to death in your car while you are speeding
Joke #10791
Q: Why does the car like this joke?
A: Because it never tires of hearing it.
Joke #10716
Q: How did the farmer move his cow?
A: In a mooving van.
Joke #10709
Q: What has 10 letters and starts with gas?
A: An automobile.
medmoy
medmoy – n. a car that has speakers so loud it makes other car’s alarms go off
dahar
dahar – n. 2 squirrels doing it doggy style on top of a parked car