Nobody likes me. Even birds ignore my feeder.
Tag Archives: bird
Joke #12806
“Hey, I had great luck today. I shot three birdies.”
“I didn’t know you were a golfer.”
“I’m not. I’m a hunter.”
Joke #12035
My teen-aged daughter wears really skimpy swimsuits. Yesterday she had her string bikini drying out on the line, and a robin swiped it to build a nest.
Joke #11420
Sister: Mom and Dad just bought me a bird for a pet.
Brother: What kind of bird?
Sister: A keet.
Brother: Don’t you mean a parakeet?
Sister: No. They just bought me one.
Joke #11356
Q: What do you call a crow on a wire?
A: An a-crow-bat! (acrobat)
Joke #11302
Q: Whom do birds marry?
A: Their tweet hearts.
Joke #11265
Girl: My boyfriend does bird imitations.
Friend: I didn’t know he was so talented.
Girl: He watches me like a hawk.
Joke #11040
Q: What do you call a cartoon about a stingy man and his bird?
A: “Wren and Skimpy.”
Joke #10766
Q: Why do mother birds vomit into their chicks’ mouths?
A: They hate to send them out without a hot breakfast.
And How’s Business?
“My business is looking better,” said the optometrist.
“My business is down in the dumps,” said the garbage man.
“Mine is rolling in dough,” said the baker.
“Mine is slow,” said the turtle salesman.
“My business is for the birds,” said the pet store owner.
“My business has sunk to a new low,” said the deep-sea diver.
“My business is turning sour,” said the pickle salesman.
“Mine is going up,” said the elevator operator.
“My business is sick,” said the doctor.
Joke #10719
Q: What do you call a bird with glasses?
A: A bird watcher.
Citrus Swing
Citrus Swing – n. a prehistoric swing ride in which a giant orange slice spins around, swinging people sitting on giant birds tied up with a rope to the orange
fagenson
fagenson – n. a bird dick
bafstat
bafstat – n. a bird in a magic show that poos during the show
cigido
cigido – v. to turn a fan into a bird