Ring, ring!
Who’s there?
Operator!
Operator who?
Operator peanut butter sandwich too fast, and now she can’t talk!
Joke #11744
Ring, ring!
Who’s there?
Dial!
Dial who?
Dial come to the phone as soon as her sister, Bea, gets off!
Joke #11743
Bob’s phone rang in the middle of the night.
“Hello?” he said.
“Hello,” said a voice. “Is this Tommy?”
“No,” said Bob. “You must have the wrong number.”
“Oh, sorry,” said the caller. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”
“Oh, that’s okay,” said Bob. “I had to get up anyway, to answer the phone!”
Tele-(Phone)-Vision
9:00 – Saved by the Phone Bell
10:00 – Sesa-it’s-for-me! Street
11:00 – Movie of the Week: The Call-Waiting of the Wild
12:00 – Movie of the Month: He’s Not Home Alone Right Now, II
1:00 – Cartoon: Chip ‘n Dial Rescue Rangers
2:00 – Life-dials of the Rich and Famous
3:00 – Lambchop’s Play-a-long Distance
4:00 – Read-ding-a-ling-a-ling Rainbow
5:00 – Rom-per-son-to-person Room
6:00 – Nightly Busy-ness Report
7:00 – Fresh Prince of Bell-Air
8:00 – Phe-wrong-nom-ber
9:00 – Saturday Night Live Wire
10:00 – Hangin’ Up on Mr. Cooper
Phone Books You Hope You Never Open
How to Avoid Long Phone Calls by Xavier Breath
Can You Dial Direct? by Fred I. Kant
Is This Phone Call Over? by Midas Wellby
Calling the Barnyard by Tobias A. Pigg
Midnight Phone Calls by Eliza Wake Now
Joke #11740
Irv: Can you telephone from the space shuttle?
Marv: Of course I can tell a phone from the space shuttle! The phone’s the one with the long cord!
Joke #11739
Q: What do you call a large person who constantly calls up people, pretending to be someone else?
A: A big phone-y!
Joke #11378
Q: How can you tell if a bee is on the phone?
A: You get a buzzy signal.
Joke #11737
Q: What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants?
A: Bell-bottoms!
Joke #11736
Q: When doesn’t a telephone work underwater?
A: When it’s wringing wet!
Joke #11735
Q: What is the cheapest time to call your friends long distance?
A: When they’re not home!
Joke #11733
Q: What goes up and down but does not move?
A: Stairs.
Joke #11732
Q: I run, yet I have no legs. What am I?
A: A nose.
Joke #11731
Q: What color did the cat paint her house?
A: “Puuuurrrr”ple
Joke #11729
Q: What goes up when the rain comes down?
A: An umbrella.