horse sense – n. what makes horses never bet on people
holy smoke
holy smoke – n. what happens when a church burns down
guillotine
guillotine – n. something that will give a person a pain in the neck
explorer
explorer – n. a guy who gets enough facts for a book
elevator operator
elevator operator – n. a person who really has his ups and downs
egotism
egotism – n. an “I” for an “I”
duck
duck – n. a chicken with snowshoes
dead ringer
dead ringer – n. a disconnected telephone
college bred
college bred – n. a four-year loaf made out of the old man’s dough. Talk about crust.
A Cool Nursery Rhyme
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider
who sat down beside her
And said, “Plenty of cholesterol, I’d say.”
Jack and Jill Parody #12096: A Modern Nursery Rhyme
Jack and Jill
went up the hill
To fetch a pail
of water.
Jack fell down
and broke his crown,
And sued the farmer
and his daughter.
An Updated Poem
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Sugar is sweet,
and expensive too.
School Classmates
You can tell a freshman,
by his slap-happy look.
You tell a sophomore,
because he carries a comic book.
You can tell a junior,
by his debonair and such.
You tell a senior,
but you can’t tell him much.
Short Poem Time
Hickory dickory dock,
The elephant ran up the clock.
The clock is being repaired.
Joke #12092
Two soldiers were in a local cafe one day when the first soldier said, “I feel like telling that jerk first sergeant where to go again.”
“What do you mean by again?” asked the other GI.
“I felt like it yesterday too.”