ATTENTION SHY GIRLS! When dating policemen beware of the long arms of the law.
Joke #12342
Did you hear about the dumb bank robber who got caught when he stopped after the job to ask a traffic cop for directions to the highway?
Joke #12341
Crooks are bolder than ever. The last time I was robbed, the mugger gave me his card in case I was ever in the neighborhood again.
Joke #12340
The crime rate in New York is worse than ever. These days pushcart vendors can make a living selling protection to tourists.
Joke #12339
Honesty is a thing of the past. Last week I played a slot machine, and it paid off in wooden nickels.
Joke #12338
Q: What do you get if you cross a policeman with an octopus?
A: A cop with eight long arms of the law.
Joke #12337
Crime is really bad in the East in the wintertime. During the last blizzard, a bunch of kids made a snowman and five minutes after it was finished, a crook came along and mugged it.
Joke #12336
Prison isn’t all that bad. At least you don’t have to worry about where your next meal is coming from.
Joke #12335
I live in a high-crime neighborhood. Even our police station has a burglar alarm.
Joke #12334
PRISONER: “I’ve got a complaint. The judge sentenced me to prison for the rest of my life.”
WARDEN: “So what’s your complaint?”
PRISONER: “Breaking rocks with a sledgehammer is not my idea of a rest.”
Joke #12333
“I know an ex-con who made a fortune in crooked dough.”
“Was he a counterfeiter?”
“No, a pretzel maker.”
Joke #12332
Have you heard about the convict who had rotten luck? Just before his execution, the governor called the prison to commute his death sentence, and the line was busy.
Joke #12331
Did you hear about the dumb pickpocket who was so clumsy he couldn’t even steal a kiss from his girlfriend?
Joke #12330
Criminals are getting bolder these days. Last week while handing out a parking ticket, a cop was mugged.
Joke #12329
TRAFFIC OFFICER: “Ma’am, what gear were you in when you had the accident?”
LADY: “I was wearing a green blouse, a white skirt and blue shoes.”