As far as I’m concerned, members of the I.R.S. are just pickpockets with friends in high places.
Joke #12466
POLITICIAN: “I ask you to vote for me. I’m a man who never stole anything in my life. And all I want is a chance.”
Joke #12465
Biologists claim there isn’t a perfect man on the entire globe… Apparently they haven’t read any presidential campaign literature lately.
Joke #12464
Scientists are now predicting that Martians will visit the United States in the near future to establish diplomatic relations. Economists are predicting that the Martians will apply for foreign aid and get it.
Joke #12463
Paying the high price of a postage stamp is bad enough, but don’t you just hate it when a clerk sells you a stamp that has no glue on the back of it?
Joke #12462
Today, the C.I.A. reported that it discovered a leak in its secret affairs headquarters. All of Washington was in turmoil until a spokesman clarified the report by stating the leak was in a sink in the men’s room.
Joke #12461
In Dallas, the local I.R.S. agents have come up with a new nickname. They’ve dubbed themselves “The Taxes Rangers.”
Joke #12460
New York City, N.Y.: A spaceship from Mars tried to land here yesterday, but couldn’t find a parking space. So the ship moved on to East Orange, N.J.
Joke #12459
Scientists have just invented a new jet liner that can fly around the world in three hours and thirty minutes. The flight itself takes thirty minutes and the plane has to circle the field for three hours before getting clearance to land.
Joke #12458
From the looks of our local police force, the best way we can support them is to buy them girdles.
Joke #12457
We just heard that Italy is sponsoring a new award for excellence in the field of junk food. It’s called the Nobel Pizza Prize.
Joke #12456
With the severe gas shortages, Detroit is making economy models so small that when a new car hits a pedestrian, the car gets totaled, but all the pedestrian gets is a scraped knee.
Joke #12455
A recent report stated that due to inflation, our bodies, which used to be worth only 98 cents, are now worth $5.60. Isn’t it depressing to know that a good sirloin steak is worth more than you are!
And even more depressing, while people are only worth five dollars and sixty cents, pet turtles cost ten bucks!
pessimist
pessimist – n. a person who swears the human race was fixed to keep him from winning.
Joke #12453
How can you believe a forecast of continued sunshine when you see the local weatherman carrying an umbrella to work?