Today’s expert is a guy who knows where yesterday’s expert went wrong.
Joke #12529
The employment situation in today’s world is really terrible. The other day someone asked me what I did for a living, and I’ve been unemployed so long, I’d forgotten.
Joke #12527
The other day a pickpocket tried to pick my pocket and I was so broke, all he got for his trouble was practice.
Joke #12526
Every American motorist will tell you that the easiest thing to run into today is debt.
Joke #12525
You can’t win in the construction business today. No matter how fast you shovel dirt, you still end up losing ground.
Joke #12524
True, a fool and his money are soon parted. But what I’d like to know is how they got together in the first place.
Joke #12523
A wise man once said: “A politician who smiles when he makes a mistake has thought of someone else to blame it on.”
Joke #12522
The prices they get for toys these days are outrageous. Last Christmas in order to buy my daughter a dollhouse, I had to take out a mortgage on it.
Joke #12521
There is so much smog in California that Los Angeles is the only city in the world where street vendors can make a good living selling oxygen.
Joke #12520
I guess I’m just the kind of person who resides in the state of total confusion.
Joke #12519
I can tell you the perfect way to save on heating bills during the winter. Move to Death Valley.
Joke #12518
I thought I’d save a lot of money on heating fuel in the winter by having a fireplace installed in my house. Then I found out how much firewood costs.
Joke #12517
You can’t win today. To cut down on my electric bill, I started using candlelight at night. So what happened? …My house caught on fire and burned down.
Joke #12516
A person’s mouth can tell you a lot about his mind. A brilliant person is one who is smart enough to realize how little he really knows.
Joke #12515
A person’s mouth can tell you a lot about his mind. The slower a person thinks, the faster he talks, and the faster he thinks, the slower he talks.