The only people who get rich addressing envelopes are bill collectors.
Joke #12544
CONSUMER: “The latest thing is a store that’s a combination butcher shop and health spa.”
MAN: “You can’t be serious.”
CONSUMER: “But I am. If you go into the store, you have to join the spa before the butcher will trim the fat off your meat.”
Joke #12543
American money is really inflated. Yesterday I opened my wallet and watched helplessly as a twenty-dollar bill floated off into the sky.
Joke #12542
These days people care more about the environment’s health than they do about their own. In most states cars aren’t allowed to smoke, but people are.
Joke #12541
OVERHEARD: “Last Christmas I gave her something worth 25 dollars — a fifty-dollar bill.”
Joke #12540
Last week I finally stopped worrying if a computer would replace me on the job. I was fired.
Joke #12539
There is one sure-fire way to save money these days — borrow it and then forget who loaned it to you.
Joke #12538
Now I finally know what’s meant by the energy squeeze. Last week I joined a car pool and six of us drove to work in a Volkswagen.
Joke #12537
I wish they could invent a computer that would do my job for me. I’m tired of standing in that unemployment line.
Joke #12536
I.R.S. AGENT: “Mr. Smith, you’ve been claiming your mother as a tax exemption for five years, and she’s been deceased for five years. What is your explanation?”
SMITH: “Well, you see, sir, my mother is still very much alive in my heart.”
Joke #12535
With inflation, wars and high prices, it’s not easy being a young American, because you’re not old enough to remember the good old days.
Joke #12534
How bad is inflation? …Yesterday when I got paid, all of my bills were folded into paper airplanes.
Joke #12533
Now the government is thinking of minting coins to take the place of paper bills. The idea is that by making the dollars heavier, inflation won’t be able to soar as easily.
Joke #12532
Affluence has finally reached the Far North. Last winter, an Eskimo had a furnace installed in his igloo and ended up with hot-water heat.
Joke #12531
I finally figured out a foolproof system for enjoying life. I work two weeks a year and spend the rest of the time on vacation.