What kind of girl is she? Let me put it this way. As soon as a man loses his capital, she loses her interest.
Joke #12714
BOSS: “Watch out for your new secretary. She has a split personality.”
OFFICE BACHELOR: “What do you mean?”
BOSS: “If she finds you have a fat savings account, she’ll try to get you to split it with her.”
Joke #12713
My boyfriend has gone around with more women than a revolving door in a beauty salon.
Joke #12712
BOYFRIEND: “Let’s be true to each other even though we’re going to be away from each other all summer. I promise to go out only with men.”
GIRLFRIEND: “Okay. I promise to do the same.”
Joke #12711
OVERHEARD: “I want a man who’s clever enough to make a lot of money, and dumb enough to spend it all on me.”
Joke #12710
WIFE: “Wake up! Wake up! There’s a burglar in the kitchen and he’s eating the leftover stew we had for supper.”
HUSBAND: “Go back to sleep and don’t worry, dear. I’ll bury him in the morning.”
Joke #12709
If I’m a man not a mouse, why do I feel faint every time I see a cat?
Joke #12708
JUDGE: “Tell me, Miss, do you promise to take the groom for better or worse?”
BRIDE: “Judge, I promise to take him for everything.”
Joke #12707
LADY: “Tell me, if I took out a million dollars worth of life insurance on my husband he died the next day, what would I get?”
ATTORNEY: “Life!”
Joke #12706
A weatherman who predicts sunny weather and gets just the opposite is a forecaster who’s all wet.
Joke #12705
It’s always nicer to give than to receive, especially when you’re talking about advice.
Joke #12704
Did you ever notice that the car that you drive to work day in and day out decides to break down just before your vacation starts?
Joke #12703
I saved my money in my mattress for a rainy day, and a flood washed away my bed.
Joke #12702
I’ll tell you what kind of luck I have. If there were another great flood tomorrow, I’d be caught holding a bag of cement.
Joke #12701
With the cost of jogging sneakers as high as it is now, I know what people mean when they talk about running in debt.