CUSTOMER: “May I have a pair of alligator shoes?”
SALESMAN: “Certainly. What size is your alligator?”
CUSTOMER: “May I have a pair of alligator shoes?”
SALESMAN: “Certainly. What size is your alligator?”
Q: What is the favorite fish of the Three Musketeers?
A: Swordfish.
Y’know, sometimes we get stupid e-mail. And when I get stupid e-mail, I post it on my web site. This came through the mailing list that is shared by my job, and it’s really not supposed to have stupid shit like this sent through it.
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Sent by: “Hector B.”
Date: Wed, Feb 2, 2011 at 8:15 PM
Subject: Amazing News!!!!
If you are currently looking for a better job, better paying, more satisfying job, look no further!!! lol. Or if you just want to make extra income from home??? Please feel free to contact me. There is a huge event going down this saturday morning feb 5th. Please let me know. Best wishes. Thanks for your time.
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On Feb 9, I sent this back to him:
“Dude don’t send this crap to me”
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“Hector B.” sends this back:
sorry man.
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Fuck you Hector B. You are an amateur spammer and suck at it! Now time for a random lol: lol. As a result, someone else replied to his spam message with another spam for some asshole tutor:
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Date: Feb 11, 2011
Subject: In need of a tutor?
Hi guys,
I just wanted to recommend a tutor to anyone in need of help in any of the subjects or standardized tests( LSAT, MCAT) listed on the attachment. This tutor has helped me excel in so many of my classes and I just wanted to share the love.
Thanks so much for your time!
–
Fuck youuuuuuuu!!!!
Q: Where do mother octopuses shop for clothes for their children?
A: Squids R Us.
Q: Where do shellfish gamble?
A: At the Clams Casino.
Q: What’s big, blows water from its spout, and turns up once every 76 years?
A: Whaley’s Comet.
Q: Who’s the world’s greatest whale magician?
A: Moby Trick.
Q: Who is the saddest whale?
A: Mopey Dick.
Q: What do big white whales play cards with?
A: Moby Deck.
Q: Who visits good little mermaids each spring to deliver eggs and candy?
A: The Oyster Bunny.
Q: Why was the comic fish fired?
A: His act smelt.
Q: Why do salmons like mornings the best?
A: It’s the spawn (dawn) of a new day.
Q: What did the dog say to the flea?
A: “I’ll be your host this evening.”
TEDDIE: “My dog is a carpenter.”
EDDIE: “What makes you say that?”
TEDDIE: “Last night he made a bolt for the door.”
Q: Why did the puppy go to the hair salon?
A: To get a shampoodle.