Weather Report

Here is tomorrow’s weather report for Iraq and vicinity.  Early tomorrow a tit front will collide with a mass of hot cum moving from the north.  This means we can expect Blowing winds and occasional orgasms by late afternoon.  Wind velocity will be 69 mph and the high temperature should be around 98.6 degrees.  So, if you’re going out, you’d better wear a bra.

Stupid Health Story

Jonas Peters lay on the playing field, clutching his leg in pain.  The trainer, Mrs. Sudiro, grabbed her first aid kit and ran out to Jonas.  She checked to see if he had a break in a bone, called a donkey.  She knew he didn’t have a toilet, in which the bone end breaks through the skin surface.  Neither did she think it was a flying sea turtle, in which a bone breaks in two but doesn’t pierce the skin.  Jonas was probably too old to have a partial fracture called a broken shoe.  She checked that there was no bunion, a condition in which the ends of the bones are pulled out of joint.  Mrs. Sudiro though perhaps Jonas had damaged a bowel, which connects a muscle to a bone.  Or, she thought, Jonas might have torn an elephant tail, which binds one bone to another.  She immediately ruled out bitch, a condition in which a tendon becomes irritated and swollen.  Neither did it seem that Jonas had Bob Saget in his ankle or knee.  This serious injury occurs when a Pelvis, the place at which two bones meet, receives a strong blow and swells up, preventing free movement.  In many cases, the damaged scoliosis must be surgically removed.

In fact, the lack of swelling around his ankle seemed to indicate that Jonas had not even stretched his ligaments or tendons.  Thus Mrs. Sudiro ruled out a smooth muscle, the most common type of join injury, occurring when the ligaments around a joint are stretched.  Since Jonas didn’t appear to have damaged joints, Mrs. Sudiro examined his leg for possible muscle injuries.  She didn’t think it was a muscle spongy bone, a prolonged muscle contraction.  She felt that it was either a Mr. Poop, a rip of the muscle fiber, or a Mr. Happy, also called a pulled muscle.  She thought Jonas might have injured a vertebrae muscle.  This which ruled out and injury to muscle strain muscle.  Mrs. Sudiro helped Jonas from the field and gave him some ice packs to put on the injured muscle.  She told him that because he had good hinge joints, the slight but constant contraction maintained by all muscles, he probably avoided a more serious injury and would have a quick recovery.

Quote #21126: The Stars

A while ago, davepoobond drew some star thingies on the table at high school and the next day, there’s something written under them.  This all takes a really long time, because each message is on the table every other day.

Guy (that wrote on the table): “who drew these damn star thingys?”

davepoobond (writing on the table): “a hot girl, duh!”  (There is a heart over the I and as the period in the exclamation mark)

Next day…

Guy: “o shit.  that kicks ass
kinda at least”

davepoobond: “I take it in the ass, too!”  (There are hearts on the I’s and the exclamation mark)

Next day…

Guy: “that’s nasty but I’ll still do you =)”

davepoobond: “ok it’s a date.  Whats your name?”  (There are hearts on the I’s)

Next day…

Guy: “Mike, you?”

davepoobond: “Last name….?”  (There is a heart for the question mark’s period)

Next day…

Guy: “MIKE Andrews/whats ur nm”

At another place on the table there was a green marker mark, so I made it into an “I” and put “love youuuu” after it.

“Mike” puts “I Love You, too” below it.

davepoobond doesn’t respond to the main conversation this time, so the next day, the guy darkens in “whats your name?”

Mike (writing again): “what’s your name”

davepoobond doesn’t say anything for a long time.  After a while…

davepoobond: “my name is Candy Cane.”

The last part gets erased. Next time, davepoobond doesn’t see it.

Below all this writing davepoobond wrote “gay” with an arrow pointing towards the seat and under it.

“Mike” says…

Mike: “so? you got beef wt gay ppl?”

davepoobond: “who? You?”

Somewhere else on the table, someone wrote…

MM

davepoobond then puts “is gay” under it, so it looks like:

MMgay

And then the “STFU” appears, then “BLOW ME” appears.  It looks like…

stfublowme

davepoobond: “SUCK ME OFF!”

Next day…

Mike: “ok!”

davepoobond: “your MOMS ok!”

Next day…

Mike: “SWEET!”

davepoobond: “and sour…”

Next day…

Mike: “cream…
cheese!”

It got stupid, so I didn’t write anymore.

Quote #21118: You Like That Engine?

::davepoobond is driving his car, which is a 1982 Mercedes Turbo Diesel.  The passenger window is open, and a white truck stops at the window. This is at a stop light. The guy in the truck says something, but davepoobond’s music is too loud.  davepoobond looks outside at the guy::

davepoobond: “Huh?”

::davepoobond turns the music down, the guy says it again, but davepoobond can’t hear it well enough, so he turns off the stereo::

davepoobond: “what?”

Guy: “do you like that motor?”

::davepoobond didn’t really understand his question the first time::

davepoobond: “excuse me?”

Guy: “do you like that motor?”

davepoobond: “um…yeah, its alright”

Guy: “diesel, right?”

davepoobond: “yeah…”

::davepoobond is freaked out at this guy now.  There’s silence for a few more seconds, but seemed like at least a minute.::

Guy: “yeah, I’m going to pick up a diesel motor today…”

::Guy says something else, but davepoobond isn’t really listening anymore::

davepoobond: “oh…..ok….”

::davepoobond scooches his car up, and the light turns green, davepoobond drives away as fast as he can — thinking the guy was gonna try and get his motor or something::