TV, Screwed Up Chronicles

Knights of Mayhem (TV Show) Review

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Channel: National Geographic Channel

A show about jousting. Doesn’t get much more exciting than that. Except maybe shows about pinball, cake walks, knitting, and the pawn shop show with that delightful Chumlee!

Knights of Mayhem follows jousting captain and “World Champion” Charlie Andrews as he dons a full set of metal armor and gets medieval (literally) on the other couple of people that engage in this idiotic activity.

Charlie is apparently very experienced and has given up everything, including his family, to do this for a living. This proves that he has major priority problems and various mental disorders, possibly stemming from seeing his paw get runned over by horses as a child.

I don’t care who you are, what you look like, how long you’ve been doing it, whatever. If you’re a grown man wearing armor and hitting other men with sticks, you’re a jackass.

What happened to National Geographic? When I was a kid it was all about half naked African women riding elephants. I guess a good thing can’t last forever. I give this show a THUMBS DOWN.

TV, Screwed Up Chronicles

Rock Stars (TV Show) Review

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Channel: National Geographic Channel

Would you like to have proof that anything can be made into a television show? Here you go!

Rock Stars is a show about men (manly men) who scale walls of rocks next to roads and poke them with sticks until the rocks fall. This is all it is about. It is 30 minutes of guys acting macho and digging rocks.

While we’re making shows about boring jobs why don’t we make a series about insurance salesmen or pizza delivery boys? I wish there were more to write about for this review but that is quite literally all there is.

So if you get your rocks off to people getting rocks off, this is for you. Otherwise, rock this show. I give it a THUMBS DOWN.

 

Fun Links

“Hey Maestro” celebrating 10 years!

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Hi this is J2K. In 2001 I made a thread on the GamePro.com forums entitled “Hey Maestro, I think we’re the only ones here!”. Somehow the thread ballooned up into thousands and thousands of posts long and is even intact on their forums today! Don’t believe me? Check this out:

“The original “Hey Maestro, I think we’re the only ones here” topic was started by a user named j2k as a random, late-night discussion and, for whatever unknown reason, took on a life of its own with thousands of replies. It became the unofficial “anything goes” topic, the thread for any and all random thoughts and conversations–something of a forum mascot. Due to server errors and whatnot, the thread has been restarted several times, most recently by a GamePro editor who wanted to see the tradition continue. Whatever the topic’s current count, you can add about 25,000 to it from the earlier editions. And that said, please don’t try to duplicate it–it’s one of a kind and we like it that way.”

http://www.gamepro.com/blogs/fatface/post/18422/

If anyone out there is from the original GamePro forums and sees this, please comment!

On another note. You’ll be seeing a lot more content on this site from me in the near future so stay tuned!

– J2K